To go back to the CMS with this?

[MatchsticksForMyEyesReturns]

Divorced 9 years ago. Ex has always resented paying maintenance. I managed to get a deduction from earnings arrangement through the CMS. Last year I was told because he'd been on it for more than 12 months, it would revert to him paying me directly. I told them he would never pay the amount they had worked out. Sure enough, he picked a figure he deemed appropriate and paid me that for 5 months. I reported the underpayment each time. Now the CMS are putting him back on the deduction from earnings, which means he pays the 20% fee. I'm being questioned ok what I earn and told I'm on a good wage (haven't disclosed my salary), that I'm greedy and told that even though he went part time a few years back, he will now retire. He is still 4 years off retirement age (we have a large age gap). He is also now ranting about it to both my children. AIBU?

CMS was absolutely the right thing. He has proved it by deciding what he wants to pay for 5 months. He has proved it by threatening to retire (if he's 4 years off retirement age then what is he going to live on for that time?) And he's further proved it by involving the kids. They will vote with their feet before much longer if he is dumping all this shit on them.

Of course you’re not unreasonable. It doesn’t matter what you earn either, he should be financially supporting the children. No excuses.

Out of interest
What is the difference between what he’s suggesting he pays and cms calculation?

If he’s working part time - both likely peanuts

£150

@MatchsticksForMyEyesReturns

£150

Is that including the 20% cms charge?

Is that a month presumably?

Yes. With the fees it'll be probably an extra £200 out of his wages though.

I’ve no respect for NRP’s who cheat their own children. YANBU.

Ok so £150 a month
Not insignificant

In any event, it would be £2. It’s rightfully your children’s. So to let it go, would be failing them.

Pursue it
And stop seeing it in terms of unreasonable / reasonable. It’s too emotive.

YANBU. It always amazes me how men ( it’s normally men paying maintenance although I know on occasion women do) think they don’t need to pay anything for the kids, probably as they see the payment going to the wife, plus being incapable of understanding kids need food, clothes, heat, light etc. It makes me even crosser that cms often tell them to pay pathetic amounts

In this case you did the right thing, just let him moan, ignore

If he retires then fine, he will have less money himself I would think

Yes CMS every time.
He sounds an arse, sorry.

Why does he think he shouldn’t pay for his own dc?

E side as a society, we make children women’s business. We keep our moths shut when our friends, colleagues, brothers, children talk about cheating their children. We shrug our shoulders and make it a private matter, between the parents. We buy into she got the house/he earns less than her/he has a new family to support and therefore she will have to manage. We demonise single mothers but make a single father who sees his children once a week into a hero.

This will only ever change when we refuse to accept it.

E side = because