Sorry, not sure if I'm phrasing it correctly. I feel like I'm being kicked in the face with fertility issues. At times, I'm optimistic I might one day have a child, then a few days later it all looks hopeless and unrealistic. The reality is probably that it could go either way.
Anyway, it's forcing me to look over my whole life and I get such a feeling of sadness that a lot is over. I buried one parent in my twenties and my other parent is very ill with cancer. I've also dealt with a lot of pain from a shit biological dad who has never wanted to know me.
Everything is combining to make me feel sort of emotionally flat and spent. I am blessed with a very happy marriage - but I wish somehow we'd met earlier, maybe I'd have children of my own if things had worked that way.
This got long but I wonder if anyone came through a time where they really wondered what the future held - and if it things worked out well for you in the end?