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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you're really rich, give to charity yourself, don't get sponsored by poorer people

89 replies

TurnOffTheHeating · 08/04/2022 18:00

I'm sure this has been said before (probably done to death). But this properly boils my piss. Yet again, someone stinking rich (and senior) has asked the rest of the team at work to sponsor them to do something they probably want to do anyway (a half marathon) for charity. "Generously" starts off the online sponsorship form with 50 quid from themselves. "Dig deep", they ask, "It's for a good cause". Just before they disappear off to the Caribbean for an Easter break.

I'm not suggesting that poorer people don't or won't be wanting to give to charity. But in their boss's name, glorifying their exercise regime?

I mean, just f* off.

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 08/04/2022 20:55

@TurnOffTheHeating

There really is something particularly unappealing about the very rich extorting money from those who have less (and choosing their causes for them), when they could easily stump up WAY more for the chosen cause themselves. If you can afford to do this quietly yourself, why wouldn't you?
Agree with this OP!
Annabelle69 · 08/04/2022 20:55

@oviraptor21

Agreed. I never ever ask people to sponsor me. It just doesn't seen right and I cringe for well off friends who do. Some were asking for sponsorship and support of fundraising events for their dc to go on overseas trips. My own dc went on a sports tour and we were supposed to get behind the fundraising events. I said I can't do this, I'll just contribute an amount equivalent to the fundraising.
@oviraptor21 Exactly this. I respect that everyone has a monthly budget they need to stick too. Within my personal budget is an amount set aside for charities. The charities I'm really passionate about, and I want to channel my limited cash to them.

I don't want to fund charites that aren't important to me, or who may send their staff on first class flights etc.

I never ask for money and I never give to sponsor request, but I do give to charity.

Ignore your Boss.

LegMeChicken · 08/04/2022 21:01

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson

Oh, and I DO give to charity myself, both by supporting others in their fundraising and also to individual charities from time to time. Doing sponsored events doesn't mean you're not supporting charities yourself!
Are you a) Rich enough to fund all of it yourself b) Asking poorer people to contribute?

If you answered 'no' to either question the OP isn't talking about you...as the thread title specifically refers richer people asking the 'poorer'

Earlydancing · 08/04/2022 21:02

I have no problem with people raising money for charity through sponsored events. Charity need money and if the person participating enjoys themselves. So much the better.
But I ask what the charity is for and if I don't like, I just say no. It was just accepted in different offices I worked that I only give if I want to support the charity and I give a fixed amount. So no different than I would give without the event. If anyone had a problem they could tell me, but it appeared no one ever did!

LegMeChicken · 08/04/2022 21:06

Also YANBU OP!
I always ask people whether they'd rather I give them £5 or £10 directly to the charity... you can see their little brains spinning... evil laugh

LegMeChicken · 08/04/2022 21:07

This is for people who bother me directly obviously!
Share a link on FB etc all good, but don't ask me directly

godmum56 · 08/04/2022 21:25

@TurnOffTheHeating

I see what you're saying, *@godmum56 and @FairyCakeWings*... but let's say if someone without much cash really wants to raise some money for something close to their heart (a local hospice which has treated a relative, say), so asks local business leaders to donate if they do a run/walk/whatever... isn't that a bit different? I mean, if they're a millionaire, they can donate thousands to the hospice. If not, it seems kind of OK if they ask their rich bosses to contribute(?)
nope. If you want to raise money for a good cause then ask for money or offer something in exchange. if people want to do sponsored this that or the other then of course that is their choice but personally I don't "do" sponsorships regardless of whether the requester is better off than me or not. I disagree with asking for sponsorships or donations of any kind at work. in fact when I was an NHS clincal manager, we didn't allow it.
Lalliella · 08/04/2022 21:33

World Challenge is the worst! Raise thousands for middle class kids to go and gawp at poor people and pay a fortune to volunteer on some project they’ve got no skills for.

ButtockUp · 08/04/2022 22:07

An awful lot of this is pure virtue signalling.. and so many people who can't afford to heat their homes are being made to feel guilty because they can't afford to donate.

I'm minded of these folk who decide to walk along the Great Wall of China who ask for sponsorship. Potential sponsors may well feel very awkward in donating a fiver for such a strenuous task but to donate more might mean going without something which would negate the point of the actual deed.

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 08/04/2022 22:08

I agree!
Also - not quite the same thing but - it really pisses me off when the likes of Bono are on the tv shouting at us normal people to “give us your fucking money.” If he and other multi millionaire pop stars like him truly give a shit about those in need, they would live a modest life - ie one house, one car etc - and give the rest of their wealth to charity. I honestly believe he and his cronies could solve world hunger by digging deeper in their own pockets instead of making those of us who earn normal salaries scrimp together a tenner or whatever meagre amount we can afford to donate!!!!

SawnWood · 08/04/2022 22:10

Oh, I know someone who does that bicycle rides thing with an international rugby game at the end of it and a full support team/food/accommodation on the way. But it’s all for charity, yo8 paying for their fun and rugby ticket!

user1471538283 · 08/04/2022 22:22

I find it exhausting and I do not donate any longer because it is always something.

The same with various collections. We live in difficult times so why would anyone think that collecting for someone leaving it birthday or a charity bike ride is appropriate?

Isonthecase · 08/04/2022 22:23

I don't think there's anything wrong with doing a sponsored something as long as it's totally optional to donate and you're not asking loads. Personally I see it as a way to share what causes are important to you. That said, it does need to be something that is genuinely a challenge, and something you'd support yourself where able.

Angelswithflirtyfaces · 08/04/2022 22:27

I have a friend who is constantly doing this and sends messages for sponsership. The final straw was a holiday abroad for her disabled son. They are loaded have several weekends abroad every few months and eat out three times a week. After me ignoring the messages and ignoring the virtue signalling on social media she asked me why i didnt 'join in' I just told her I do my bit in other ways e.g buying most of my stuff from charity shops, making one off donations etc. But I was guilt tripped all the same.
I dont mind if people do a jumble stall, car wash, race night etc but the sponsering of walks/ hikes is a massive no for me.

XenoBitch · 08/04/2022 22:35

I am a little cynical about many of these sponsored things. I mean, if you want to do a sky dive, go and do a sky dive. Don't do it under the guise of "for charity" where a portion of what you raise wont even go to charity as it is paying for your self indulgence.

Silverclocks · 08/04/2022 22:35

I agree and I don't fund any of these hobby sponsorships. I'm a runner and I've never asked anyone, I just write a cheque myself if needed. Even when DC were doing sponsored silences etc I sent whatever I could afford rather than ask others.

For close friends I sponsor their first marathon generously, but nothing else, otherwise it's never ending

coolbean · 08/04/2022 22:42

I think I agree with this tbh.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/04/2022 23:20

If your boss had said he was putting £500, I would be more inclined to give a little if I had the funds. But fifty pounds is insulting and I would be wondering if giving him money would be subsidising his costs. Will that measly amount even pay the entrance fee?

TempNameChangexx · 09/04/2022 00:04

YANBU - there were people at work doing the same thing, except the first £1k or so of each person's sponsorship wasn't going to the charity - it was going to the company running the activity.
If "fundraisers" want to do something like this, IMO they should pay for the activity themselves so that all the sponsorship goes to the charity

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 09/04/2022 00:40

Fuck that shit. Nope.

Thatswhyimacat · 09/04/2022 00:44

YANBU. I hope that those same people give good amounts when sponsorship rolls around on their desk for someone else. I have asked to be sponsored before but I make damn sure I give good amounts to friends and acquaintances doing the same.

Thatswhyimacat · 09/04/2022 00:46

@XenoBitch

I am a little cynical about many of these sponsored things. I mean, if you want to do a sky dive, go and do a sky dive. Don't do it under the guise of "for charity" where a portion of what you raise wont even go to charity as it is paying for your self indulgence.
There was only one time I truly supported a sponsored skydive, and it was because a friend committed to doing several while being terrified of heights, to raise money for a friend who died of a rare cancer who had desperately wanted to skydive. THAT'S a charity challenge.
FrankLeeSpeaking · 09/04/2022 01:04

Oh YANBU OP.
I ran a half marathon in my younger and fitter days. I did get a charity place, and I covered the minimum donation amount myself. I considered it the entry fee. That said, a few people did offer to donate a couple of quid, which I added on and donated. I never asked them, or anyone. I just wanted to do the race.

And anyone who wants money to climb a mountain or trek in the amazon is a CF IMO. I'd happily donate the same amount directly to charity to stop them bothering me about paying for their holiday.

declutteringmymind · 09/04/2022 01:13

Well said OP.

I can afford these things myself, so just do the donation myself. I let close people to donate, and I do consider sometimes putting it out there and matching it but even that seems a bit cheeky.

I get so much out of doing the sponsored thing in terms of my own spirit so the monetary donation is gladly spent. And if it raises awareness then that's a bonus. Although I do appreciate moral support and tolerance when others listen to be droning on about it. Which is an act of charity in itself!

Notcontent · 09/04/2022 01:28

@Fridafever

Oh god maybe Flobot! It was a US firm and about 12 years ago.
I have come across this kind of thing at city law firms too! Less so recently. Maybe some people are starting to realise how inappropriate it is…
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