to be worried by new neighbour’s comment

[inacuppa]

Moved to a new area 2 months ago. It was forced with prices/school applications so let’s say I have had a complicated relationship with it so far (posted about it on here).
Just met the neighbour and mentioned where we came from. He said “can I ask you why you have moved to ***??!”.
Backtracked a bit and said it was a nice area. But also mentioned they are looking to move more rural.
AIBU to worry or is it my anxious brain looking for reasons to??

Don’t worry sounds like nosey small talk! They want to know all about you, we had the same when we moved, there were all sorts of rumours about the new neighbours!!

Maybe they think the area's too crowded. Maybe they think that after the pandemic, they'd rather live more rurally (if there are future lockdowns) and don't understand why someone else might disagree.

Everyone has their own perspective, and there will always be someone who is unhappy where they are, wants to move away, and can't/won't understand that there are other opinions.

Example: Someone moves from a warm climate to a cool climate. Person who has lived in the cool climate all their life thinks it's crazy to move there, never stopping to think that the person from the warmer climate might not like the heat and that climate isn't everything.

I get this question a lot whenever I meet someone new. We moved here from overseas and as soon as they hear me speak they wonder what I'm doing here. I think it's just genuine curiosity, it's not the most obvious place for someone from far flung to end up I suppose.

It's a very normal question and reasonable small talk to ask a new neighbour what brought them to living there?

I'd say you're over thinking it

Unless you're worried because you somehow gamed the school application system and don't want to get caught?

My (French) MiL used to ask this of people. "What brought you here?" If they looked confused she would prompt them " Did you come for love, or a job, or for the lovely food?..." she was just genuinely interested in what she could share with them about her country.
I think your neighbour might be wanting you to say how beautiful the countryside is or how you came there as a child or something.

@LampLighter414 haha no all above board! Actually we are slightly further out from catholic school we have applied to. That’s another thread

Thank you everyone for putting it in perspective. I guess I feel a bit embarrassed as we were priced out of where we were and hate having to say it. That’s my own issue I know.

Everyone asks questions to make conversation and some are just nosy...When I moved back home the questions were shocking and I even said to one person the guards wouldn't ask so many questions. After living in London where no one asks anything really it was a shock. If you are happy with the area it will still take time to settle, not long moved and it takes months to get used to it all, new house etc. don't over read and older people sometimes like to move to quieter places once reared the children.

A non worry really, just make up something funny in reply,

Apparently I caused terrible offence a few years ago when I was introduced to some people who'd moved from a very nice part of Dorset to one of the grottier areas of the Swansea valleys with high crime and poverty levels.

I made a sympathetically intended comment along the lines of what did they know about the new place that I didn't — meaning that perhaps there were wonderful things about their new area that I was ignorant of. All I wanted was to start a conversation so that we could all find out a little more about each other and (maybe) start on our way to being friends. Instead they decided I was unbearably rude and these days turn their backs to me when we encounter each other.

Everyone knows that there are areas that people aspire to live and other areas which many people would like to leave. It seems a bit daft to pretend otherwise.

I've had this everywhere I've moved to because they've always been radically different places. At the mo', it's because we (relatively recently) moved from Cornwall to London. It's fine. It's a useful conversation starter.

Absolutely standard friendly neighbour small talk to any new arrivals.

[quote inacuppa]@LampLighter414 haha no all above board! Actually we are slightly further out from catholic school we have applied to. That’s another thread

Thank you everyone for putting it in perspective. I guess I feel a bit embarrassed as we were priced out of where we were and hate having to say it. That’s my own issue I know.[/quote]
You alluded to this in your first post. If you’ve moved from a nice area to a not so nice area it’s an obvious question. Nosy perhaps, but obvious all the same.

When you’re priced out of an area the standard response is ‘we wanted more space’.

The implication being ‘of course we could have bought a shoebox in but we’d rather have a bigger home in ’. No need to acknowledge that anyone moving to a studio flat with (eg) 2 children and a dog would be certifiably bonkers.

Anyway don’t worry OP I’m sure it’s just small talk - but that’s my go to anyway when people ask why we moved!

Jesus, never ever move to a small town/large village. (Though with new builds everywhere it might not be such a problem). When we moved, I had days of the third degree (you’re not from round here. Ohh you live in xx’s old house. Did you buy it from y? Where does yr husband work. What do you do? Etc etc.). Including why have you moved here?

Thanks all. I feel a bit daft now. But better