Lateness drives me insane

[Lily2075]

I write as I'm sat alone in a restaurant, cousin now nearly 15 minutes late. It drives me insane. No reason for her lateness, hasn't told me how long she'll be. I don't understand why people can't just be on time.

Me too. I hate people being late. It's disrespectful and implies they had something more important to do.

I find it so awkward too sitting in a restaurant alone!

There are lots of reasons why people are late, but as they say, you can't change how people behave, only how you react to them.

So, if I were you, I'd go ahead and order and enjoy your lunch.

If they're a serial offender then leave after 20 minutes. When they inevitably ring asking where you are just say 'oh sorry, I thought you couldn't make it'.

There are so many articles about why some people are late and the reasons are not usually about being disrespectful to the person they're meeting. Brains work differently.

Personally I love getting to places early and settling in before others arrive!
I read, or play with my phone, or people watch.

We're all different huh.

Completely agree but seeing how these threads go there will be lots of posts saying oh but I can’t help it….

I used to live with someone who was constantly late and played up to it as one of their quirks. I no longer live with them!

Me too. You do realise millions of people will be here to justify why their time is more important than the person who is waiting for them thought?
I have ADHD and always lose track of time. I'm never late though. I'm on time albeit with wet hair and no makeup on

We lie to sil and family always tell them a half an hour before time still normally late but only by about 5 mins.

Oh come on! Surely you can manage for 15 minutes on your own? There's all sorts of reasons people are late.

Personally, I really try my best not to be late but often I leave in a mad flap as I've had an anxiety meltdown before leaving the house. No, it's not personal, yes it's annoying, but as someone else said you cannot control others but you can control how you react. I cut people slack if they're late because I know how hard I try to be on time (and I often am!) but occasionally life does just get in the way.

Never fails to amaze me that in the day of mobile phones that enable text, talk, email. And God knows how many other ways to communicate a person can’t be bothered to make contact when they’re late.

Oh come on! Surely you can manage for 15 minutes on your own? There's all sorts of reasons people are late.

Yeah. The main one being not setting off in time.

DH is a late person and it drives me mad. I prefer to be 5 mins early ideally but definitely on time. He winds me up with it to no end. I asked MIL to collect DC from school once and got a phone call from the school 30 mins after school had finished to ask why I hadn’t collected them. She ‘forgot’ and ended up collecting them 40 mins late! Never asked her again, I was mortified but plain to see where DH gets his timekeeping skills from.

Surely if you are one of those people who always get in a flap/have mektdowns/need more time to get organised... You leave yourself more time to get to a place?
I find it rude when people are constantly late

Is your cousin often late or is this unusual? I'd be more concerned if it was unusual but if it was a regular thing I would just act as if they're not going to turn up and do whatever you want to do.

I don't maintain friendships with people who are regularly late now, they may have reasons they can't manage their time and I have reasons why I find it unacceptable so it works out best for all concerned.

OP I hear you.
I had a friend who was always always late, a good 30 minutes late. Once I’d had enough- we made plans and I turned up an hour and 10 mins late. Messaged her saying I was leaving at the right time (as she always did with me!) and then just waited. Got her message saying she was there (35 mins late) and send back a jaunty ‘just on my way’ message (as she always did). Turned up 35 mins later. I could tell she was LIVID at having to wait but couldn’t say a word as she’d clearly realised what I was doing . Still friends, never more than 5 mins late now.

I feel your pain - I have a brother like this.
We recently met at a pub 1/2 way between where we each live. Table booked for 1.30 at his request. We arrived 10 mins early. DH insisted we went straight in. I wanted to wait in the car until 1.30 as I just knew DB would be late. But no - we went in and had to fend off the waiter a number if times with apologies about why we weren't ready to order drinks (in the end we did) or food just yet. DB arrived 15 mins late - not bad for him but no real excuse - apart from traffic - well Google maps is usually pretty good at telling you what traffic is like - use it like we do! He was even late to his niece's funeral - not actually late to the church but he was told to be at the house at x time. Hearse and rest of the family all waiting outside the house ready to leave and no sign of DB and the other 4 members of his family. He was a pall bearer so we didn't want to go without him but poor DS was on standby to take his place (but preferred not to be in such a role for his DSIS funeral).

I find it so difficult to understand how 2 people with the same upbringing can be so different in their timekeeping.

You are not alone. I hate lateness too. My ex was always late - late for dates, late to show up at other peoples events which was embarrassing for me. I feel like its disrespectful of other people's time.

I also have a friend that I go to the movies with and she's always late, we always miss the beginning of the movie, it really irks the mess out of me. But she's a good person so I just let it go.

I prefer to get to places early, DH will happily leave home at the time we've arranged to be there. I've learned to revise the time we're due so we at least arrive on time. I hate being the last to arrive everywhere we go!

I'm usually late if with the kids.
Early if on my tod.

I don't like it either, but this has been discussed many times on MN and it always comes down to impatient people not understanding the trials and tribulations of other peoples' lives and how yes, they will move heaven and earth to get to a job interview or important client meeting on time, but not to meet you because you don't matter enough/should wait for them if you are a true friend.

For me, if someone genuinely has a health condition that affects their punctuality, that's one thing. Simply being disorganised/being unable to ignore a ringing phone 30 seconds before they are due to leave the house/refusing to get an earlier train even though the later one is always late is quite another.

Its a bad habit. My friend is never on time. Not sure how that works with swimming times or sessions as set times! It does get annoying. She just bad time management! Im on school bus so have be on time