To want DH back in the office for the Easter holidays

[GaryLscrisps]

As the title says really - Just for this period so the house can be a home and not a workplace. Aibu?

YABU

If he has the option then yes of course. I think you've posted before about how he makes you be quiet and the kids can't make noise etc. Not sure why you haven't put your foot down already.

I think we need more info;

• can he work from the office?
• why is your home a workplace? Does he have a private space to work?
• does he complain about household noise?

I'm glad mine can't work from home. He would.be barricaded into his bedroom if he did. If you work from home you work around the household, not the other way around.

Where does he work when he's at home? Does he have an office or does he take up the living space and expect people to tiptoe around him all day?

Yanbu. I'm off with the dc this week and dh is wfh. I've had to stop them playing loudly as their rooms are next to his office. It'd be easier if he was at work!

YANBU, especially if he’s like my PITA DH anyway. My DH comes through to shush the DC when he’s taking a call and sometimes expects them to be quiet for 30 mins+ for certain calls- very realistic when the youngest is 20 months! He uses the dining room so we can’t eat in there and he leaves his shit strewn all over. Hated it when he WFH during lockdowns and he’s WFH atm because he has covid, looking forward to him returning .

@PostingForTrafficz

If he has the option then yes of course. I think you've posted before about how he makes you be quiet and the kids can't make noise etc. Not sure why you haven't put your foot down already.

No I haven’t but I doubt it’s a unique problem! I think @Sartre is my twin though.

If he has an office out of the way with a door that shuts, YABU.

If he's squatting on the dining table or expecting the family to be quiet / out of the way to accommodate him YANBU

@Sartre

YANBU, especially if he’s like my PITA DH anyway. My DH comes through to shush the DC when he’s taking a call and sometimes expects them to be quiet for 30 mins+ for certain calls- very realistic when the youngest is 20 months! He uses the dining room so we can’t eat in there and he leaves his shit strewn all over. Hated it when he WFH during lockdowns and he’s WFH atm because he has covid, looking forward to him returning .

Why the fuck do you put up with this?

My DH isn’t as bad as the above example but what should she do? I’d genuinely like to know.

I'm currently at the zoo as its WFH Friday... (with the children).

WFH when you have a dedicated home office is completely different to WFH in a communal area with children around. Its usually frowned upon to take your children into work with you for a reason (childcare workers accepted).

@GaryLscrisps

My DH isn’t as bad as the above example but what should she do? I’d genuinely like to know.

Tell him that he's being an unreasonable bully. Make him work in the bedroom.

It's unacceptable to do this.

I WFH but I'm a woman so it doesn't ruin my family's life. And if your husband can be in the office, then he should be if he is going to dictate what his children can and can't do during the school holidays.

OK and if he won’t?

@GaryLscrisps

OK and if he won’t?

Ask him to leave in general I guess. Or he can pay for you to stay in an Airbnb for 2 weeks if he prefers.

@GaryLscrisps

OK and if he won’t?

If he won't go into the office (I appreciate you can't physically force him) you just carry on as you would if he wasn't there and it's up to him to put up with it or piss off. It's your home, not an office.

Do you have any of those rent an office / desk places nearby? We have some that are rentable by the morning/day/week in the next village. Might be an option.

I don't know why this is your problem to solve?
Your house IS your home. If your DH is unable to work properly with the kids there, then he needs to sort himself out - by using noise-cancelling headphones and to work in his bedroom if the home doesn't have an office where he can close the door. Or by going to his office. Or by finding a shared office space he can book to use during the holidays.
His work. His responsibility.

Well if he won't then you carry on as if he's not there. And I suspect that if he thinks he's more important than everyone else in the family that this is the tip of the iceberg in terms of problems in your marriage.

Sorry - I was addressing a poster above who said why do you put up with it (to a different poster.)

@GaryLscrisps

Sorry - I was addressing a poster above who said why do you put up with it (to a different poster.)

I know. Either way just carry on regardless or give him some options. If he just won't do anything then just carry on, don't be quiet, don't go out more than usual just be normal.

YANBU unless he has a completely separate area to work in. Otherwise he'll just be in the way. If there is an option for him to go into the office then I'd tell him to go and keep out of my hair as it's stressful trying to manage kids during the holidays without him being there too.

Being normal isn’t possible though. You might want to invite friends over but they won’t come if someone’s working there. You might want to use a room and can’t because someone is working there.

Hopefully mine won’t be pigheaded about it and will go back to the office but just ignoring them really really isn’t possible!

No he should not go back into the office, potentially catch Covid and bring misery to you. He should work in a space and in a way that is considerate to you and your DC. And stop being the big I am if he is, which is usually a sign of being useless at a job.

I don’t think either of us are particularly concerned about covid.