Covid- another baby?

[Whatwouldyoudo2021]

Hi all,

So I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with my second and I’m totally bricking it. My son has just turned 2.

I had my son right at the start of covid lock downs in April 2020, I was so excited to be having a baby, I’d done NCT, everything was going swimmingly. Then covid hit!

I was induced due to reduced nonevents, this ended in failed forceps and an emergency c section, after I had already laboured to 10cm. My husband was only allowed with me during the birth, 40 minutes after my c section he had to leave due to covid rules. I was on the post natal ward on my own having never held a baby, the midwives did as much as they could but they could only help so much. I didn’t sleep for the second night in a row. The next day less than 24 hours after my section I walked out of hospital with no help carrying my new born, 2 bags and a suitcase to meet my husband outside. It was truly horrific.
I came home and had problems with breastfeeding, a tongue tie was eventually diagnosed over FaceTime with a health visitor. I had 2 midwife appoints after birth and one FaceTime with a HV that was it, no other support. My then 6 week old had his ti cue tie snipped at a private clinic, again on my own, no support.

I’m now pregnant again and it has stored up so so many feelings, sadness from my first experience, fear that this is all going to happen again. I’ve been told I have to have another section due to something wrong with my anatomy.

I know hat things will be better this time, I’ve done it before so I can do it again, but I’m still so scared of going through it all again.

I have booked a post natal doula to help after birth, is there anything else I can do or prep I minimise my anxiety around having another baby?

ELCS will be a very different experience although i had one and got no sleep for 36 hours thanks to inconsiderate dickheads some of the other mothers in my hospital bay

I wpuld do breathing exercises and baby yoga for anxiety up to birth.

Practically - i would get proper serious HELP in for the first 2 weeks to make life easier. Eother your DH, your mum, sister whoever...

Batch cook or decent ready meals in freezer well in advance and set up a saved weekly order for home delivery of fresh stuff milk sandwich fillings and bread eggs etc

I am having a planned section and I have heard it can be a very different experience to an emergency one. So I would empower yourself to be prepared for the section and have it as relaxing as possible.

I am going to purchase this hypnotherapy for c section. Maggie Howell hypnobirthing or c-section
www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/shop/Prepare-for-a-Caesarean-1.html

I would also ask the hospital in advance what visiting hours are and what the rule is for husbands in during c-section and how the planned section will work. You can again prepare yourself then once you have the facts.

Good luck.

Thank you both, my husband is brilliant, so I’m super lucky there and my sister is brilliant too so I know I have some support around me but the anxiety is real! I guess having a baby during lockdown has affected me a lot more than I had thought and being pregnant now has bought all the feelings to a head.

Just reminding my self of all my family standing at my living room window for 3 months before anyone actually held my baby.

I will certainly get the food sorted before I go I hospital that’s something I didn’t do last time!

Hi OP, I hope this next birth can be a lovely healing experience for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I’ve been told I have to have another section due to something wrong with my anatomy

In relation to this, do you want a C-Section? As PP have said a planned C-section will be a very different experience than the one before but if it’s something you’re less keen on you might be able to get them to go into more detail about why it’s needed and if there are any other options. Eg. If you can go into labour spontaneously and potentially have a vaginal birth if induction isn’t required.

The postnatal doula sounds like such a good idea!

Thank you for your reply, it’s because I’ve got some sort of hip abnormality which they didn’t know about until the forceps failed last time so they’ve not really given me much of a choice

I had a planned section (as baby was breech, not through choice really!) And it was a lovely, calm experience. I went to the hospital in the afternoon, walked to the operating theatre and the staff were all calm and chatty, it was a lovely experience.

Can you ask the hospital for a birth debrief? They go through your birth notes and discuss it all in detail with you, to help you manage your worries and feelings about it. It may help to sit and discuss it with a professional who can talk through why it went the way it did and they can also reassure you on the current restrictions in the hospital?

@Whatwouldyoudo2021

Hi all,

So I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with my second and I’m totally bricking it. My son has just turned 2.

I had my son right at the start of covid lock downs in April 2020, I was so excited to be having a baby, I’d done NCT, everything was going swimmingly. Then covid hit!

I was induced due to reduced nonevents, this ended in failed forceps and an emergency c section, after I had already laboured to 10cm. My husband was only allowed with me during the birth, 40 minutes after my c section he had to leave due to covid rules. I was on the post natal ward on my own having never held a baby, the midwives did as much as they could but they could only help so much. I didn’t sleep for the second night in a row. The next day less than 24 hours after my section I walked out of hospital with no help carrying my new born, 2 bags and a suitcase to meet my husband outside. It was truly horrific.
I came home and had problems with breastfeeding, a tongue tie was eventually diagnosed over FaceTime with a health visitor. I had 2 midwife appoints after birth and one FaceTime with a HV that was it, no other support. My then 6 week old had his ti cue tie snipped at a private clinic, again on my own, no support.

I’m now pregnant again and it has stored up so so many feelings, sadness from my first experience, fear that this is all going to happen again. I’ve been told I have to have another section due to something wrong with my anatomy.

I know hat things will be better this time, I’ve done it before so I can do it again, but I’m still so scared of going through it all again.

I have booked a post natal doula to help after birth, is there anything else I can do or prep I minimise my anxiety around having another baby?

So I gave birth to my first in May 2020.

My experience was different to yours, obviously most births are different, but the feeling I get from your post, I feel the same.

Id been told by my midwife prior to giving birth that there were no epidurals being given 'due to covid' so this was something I had to get my head around and I had to wheel my suitcases round a huge hospital on my own, in labour, terrible. Then my OH had to wait in the car park until I was in established labour so I had to ring him with a password the get him through security at the front of the hospital stopping people from just coming in.

Honestly it was just weird and sort of like an airport?!

But I gave birth to my second (unplanned!) little one in July 2021 just before restrictions were lifted.

Honestly I was so anxious and worried it was ridiculous. But every birth is different.
Just please keep that in your mind.
It again wasn't great because of the restrictions in place but I had it in my head all the time that I have done this before and in worse circumstances.

It will NOT be the same. You will not feel the same. Hopefully that should calm you, and the fact that the covid restrictions are nothing like they were back when we first gave birth back when covid first hit.

I honestly wish you all the luck in the world welcoming your new little one into the world and hope that your experience this time is more positive.

Just try and remain as positive as you can