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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

GROMMETS IN 3 YEAR OLD

27 replies

Heyduggee123 · 07/04/2022 15:12

I'm feeling very frustrated right now. Crikey it's a long story but DD3 has been struggling with a constant runny nose for 2 years, it's been unrelenting. It's affecting her breathing, sleeping etc. She's always poorly. GP has prescribed antihistamines, steroid drops, and even had a full blood count, but nothing has worked.

I've been pushing them to refer her to a ENT but I struggled to even get an appointment as she is not "acutely poorly" In the end I took matters into my own hands and found a consultant at a nearby leading childrens teaching hospital, I emailed him directly and he agreed to see us. The GP then had no alternative but to do the referral.

We have had the appointment today and she is on the top priority list for her tonsils & adenoids to be removed, but to our shock she also has fluid on her ears which is causing quite significant hearing loss.

My DD has been poorly so many times during the last 2 years, including 2 stays in hospital, one of which was for sepsis. She's had her ears looked into more times that I can count. They always ask about her development (she is a twin and is very very small for her age) and every time I tell them that she is behind on her speech and has been referred to speech therapy.

I'm angry that my DD has been suffering with this hearing loss for the best part of 2 years, so it's now the norm for her. Of course I'm relieved that it's now being sorted but why wasn't this spotted before? Given how long she's been having problems I really do not believe that this is a recent problem. It broke my heart as I sat behind her today during the hearing test when she had no reaction to sounds I thought were very very clear. She could hear them when very loud.

AIBU to be gutted about this? I can have a full on conversation with her twin sister. We struggle to understand what my other DD says at times. I never in a million years thought this was down to a hearing problem.

My other question is (although not an AIBU) for those of you whose children had grommets fitted, what was the effect after? Was it pretty much straight away (after recovery).

OP posts:
litlealligator · 07/04/2022 15:18

I had grommets as a child about the same age as your daughter. I don't remember the before/after, but as an adult I have no hearing problems so they must have worked! So sorry to hear you and your daughter have had such a tough time, at least now they have identified the problem they can treat it properly.

mumonthehill · 07/04/2022 15:22

Both ds had grommets, adenoids and tonsils done when they were 4. Older ds had significant hearing loss and we had not really picked up how bad it was for him. Both were constantly unwell with infections. Both were transformed by having the operation done. Elder ds hearing improved immediately and both stopped having all the infections. They both healed very quickly, were in hospital for 24 hours and recovered well.

Upamountain43 · 07/04/2022 15:25

My daughter had grommets at 2 and yes i noticed a difference within a couple of days - she got upset by loud noises for a bit but settled down quickly.

Original poster
Heyduggee123 · 07/04/2022 16:05

@litlealligator

I had grommets as a child about the same age as your daughter. I don't remember the before/after, but as an adult I have no hearing problems so they must have worked! So sorry to hear you and your daughter have had such a tough time, at least now they have identified the problem they can treat it properly.
thank you, good to know the treatment worked for you Smile
OP posts:
Original poster
Heyduggee123 · 07/04/2022 16:06

@mumonthehill

Both ds had grommets, adenoids and tonsils done when they were 4. Older ds had significant hearing loss and we had not really picked up how bad it was for him. Both were constantly unwell with infections. Both were transformed by having the operation done. Elder ds hearing improved immediately and both stopped having all the infections. They both healed very quickly, were in hospital for 24 hours and recovered well.
wow that sounds amazing. I really hope it works as well for my DD as it did for your DS's xx
OP posts:
Picklechamp · 07/04/2022 16:11

My DC also had grommets, tonsils and adenoids removed when nearly 4. Immediate improvement in hearing and general health. Bounced back very quickly from the surgery too (although did immediately catch a severe bout of chicken pox, as immune system is low for a couple of weeks after surgery,)

JustALittleHelpPlease · 07/04/2022 16:23

Speech therapy should have requested a hearing test prior to them even seeing you, did that not happen?

Worriedmama32 · 07/04/2022 16:24

My son had grommets around 3, he is 11 now and his speech improved within 6 months of the surgery. The only lasting thing has been that even now load noises like fireworks can hurt his ears and give him a headache after 10 mins or so

Ebjp39 · 07/04/2022 16:26

My son had grommets at 4. It took a long time to get the op. It didn’t improve his speech as he is still non verbal- the glue ear masked some of his other difficulties.

Original poster
Heyduggee123 · 07/04/2022 16:26

@JustALittleHelpPlease

Speech therapy should have requested a hearing test prior to them even seeing you, did that not happen?
No because we've not had the speech therapy yet - it's booked in for the end of this month but she's been on the waiting list for months - apparently they are trying to recruit a new speech therapist. Someone comes in once a month from a neighbouring NHS trust, which means that the wait times are horrific
OP posts:
BlazingRufus · 07/04/2022 16:27

I got grommets around 8 years of age. To this day I remember coming round from the anaesthetic after the surgery thinking "blimey, it's loud in here!" Enjoy Smile

Pinkflipflop85 · 07/04/2022 16:28

Ds had grommets, tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy when he was 2. The audiologist was surprised he could talk so well when they did his first hearing test.

The change was huge for him. No more sleep apnoea and he could finally eat solid food.

For quite a while he didn't like really busy places with lots of noise. The supermarket was a particular dislike of his!

Unfortunately he had to have grommets again few years later as the glue ear hadn't resolved. We are now awaiting a decision on what to do next as the second set haven't worked and he still has glue ear and a retracted ear drum. Thanks to covid it has been a 3 year process and we are still no closer to answers!

SummerHouse · 07/04/2022 16:33

I had grommets at about age 8. It was picked up when a teacher noticed I was basically lip reading and not answering when not looking.

Effect was immediate. Sounds when I came out of anesthestic were I can only describe as "deafening".

So I would avoid anything loud and think of things that will comfort her once it's done.

Very frustrating for you but you have fought for her and won. I think you should be very proud that you have got her the treatment she needs. Try and focus on the positive rather than the missed opportunities. She is very young and will hopefully thrive now. This is thanks to you. Parenting at the gold standard! Flowers

hicketypickety · 07/04/2022 16:35

My DS had grommets in and adenoids and tonsils out when he was 1 (family history with me and younger siblings so I knew what to ask the GP for in terms of referral). Improvement was almost instant (though hearing is still selective sometimes 😂). We used insurance through work to speed things up if that's an option?

Briony123 · 07/04/2022 17:04

Normally parents are horrified that THEY didn't notice their child was deaf. I've never heard parents trying to blame the medics...

Thisisbatshit · 07/04/2022 17:09

A huge instant change foe my DD. She was 3. Instantly she could hear things she couldn't before (the fridge). When she soke up from the surgery she ate a round of toast, then a roast dinner, then another ound of toast before bed. She had previously struggled to swallow and was getting quite low in weight. I was shocked the eating was so goof after surgery given how painful I had expected it to be. (It did regress again for a few days whilst she healed. I think day 3 was the worst as we had been warned) but after a few days she was fine- sleeping without snoring, no longer dribbling. A new child. Good luck.

AntarcticTern · 07/04/2022 17:10

Two of my three DC have needed grommets. Don't worry too much OP, it's quite common for it not to be picked up for a bit. DD was 5 and at school before it was spotted - like you, I was shocked by the sounds she couldn't hear during the test! Recovery was straightforward for both of them.

JessicaBrassica · 07/04/2022 17:18

D's had them at 4. On the way home he asked about the ticking of the indicator. Tbh, I only took him for a hearing test because I was so pissed off with him not listening. Turned out he could hear naff all.

It took several years for his brain to get really good at processing sound. He learned visually, was massively observant but didn't really take on board what was said. We used a lot of audio books and he's much better now at listening and seeing at the same time.

TheElderleyBrothers · 07/04/2022 17:30

@Briony123

Normally parents are horrified that THEY didn't notice their child was deaf. I've never heard parents trying to blame the medics...
Possibly because she consulted the professionals and got the brush off as did I. We were told it was normal for a 3 year old to have a continuous runny, snotty nose and they said his tongue was too big for his mouth when we questioned his speech. When we finally got his diagnosis the wait for grommets was 18 months but they would fit him with hearing aids until his appointment came through. Luckily we had private through work and the nhs consultant could fit us in at the end of the week.
Live4weekend · 07/04/2022 17:35

I had grommets as a child. It was someone else who said to DM that 'She can't hear that ice cream van'.

So don't beat yourself up.

My youngest has had speech therapy and he's now 7 and the only hearing test he has every had is his newborn one. Contact the school nurse who say go to Dr and contact Dr who says go to School Nurse........

But anyways, I can now hear fine. The grommets did the job.

I also had my adenoids out a couple of times although I don't think that really helped me at all.

flightless55 · 07/04/2022 17:40

This is nearly identical to our story

We're now 2 month post op for my 3 year old DD and it's been life changing
She doesn't have sleep apnea any more
Her speech has blossomed along with her confidence
She can hear!!
And colds are no longer landing us in hospital!

MargaretThursday · 07/04/2022 18:03

Ds had his second lot of grommets at 3yo. For him it wasn't an amazing difference, but little comments he made like "leaves didn't crunch last year" that showed how much more he could hear.

SummerHouse · 07/04/2022 18:39

I had my adenoids out a couple of times although I don't think that really helped me at all

Don't you only have one set?

Underfrighter · 07/04/2022 18:47

My child had them fitted at a similar age and speech improved so much within a matter of weeks

Tieredmum · 22/07/2023 19:44

My niece 3 was suffering from repeated ear infections which resulted in her having febrial convulsions. The GP said she had to have more infections before she could be refered to a specialist ! Her dad went private and the consultant said she had fluid in her ears. Two weeks later grommets put in. The result has been no more ear infections and her hearing is now perfect. I understand that it’s not a financial option for everyone but we all chipped in and there no doubt that it was the right decision and she’s now a happy pain free little girl.