A WWYD?

[Royalewithcheese33]

I had a friend a few years ago. We met through work and hit it off immediately. Had lots of days and nights out and even a couple of girly weekends away. I thought she was great, albeit a bit wild and impulsive at times. She didn't have kids or a husband whereas I did and sometimes I felt like she got jealous and put out if I couldn't be available exactly when she wanted me to be.

Anyway were very close for 2 years and then had a bad falling out. I found out she'd said some stuff about me behind my back that wasn't true. She really did behave quite appallingly and hurt me very badly. We never spoke at work again and shortly after she changed jobs. We haven't kept in touch or spoken for the last 3-4 years.

I found out recently that she passed away suddenly. It was a big shock as she was only in her mid thirties. It's her funeral next week and I am torn about whether or not to go. On one hand I have many great memories with this woman and am deeply saddened by her death. On the other, I'm not sure if it's wrong to attend such an emotional and personal occasion when we haven't spoken in so long and parted on bad terms. Thoughts please?

You could go to the funeral to pay your respects.
You don't need to go to the wake.

Yeah I definitely wouldn't go to the wake. It's more just to pay my respects and show that there are no bad feelings on my part.

I think it's appropriate to go the funeral but not the wake. If you'd done something wrong to her then I would say keep away from both but given when you've posted privately paying your respects without intrusion is fine.

I would. Funerals are for the living. Go along, stand quietly at the back and forgive her.
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I think, if you can go along to the funeral with a heart full of love and good wishes for your departed friend, go. If there is an afterlife, it will help her on her way (and push you along your own spiritual journey). If there isn't an afterlife, no harm done, and you can support the living.

If you're going to be sitting there having spiteful thoughts, I'd advise you not to go, though. Not good for anyone.

OP. It is perfectly ok to attend the funeral of the deceased and celebrate the good memories you shared with them. It may allow you to let go of the grudge held due to falling out.