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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Freecycle rudeness

48 replies

Skelligsfeathers · 07/04/2022 11:03

Is it just me?
I offered some stuff on there yesterday and some of the responses I have had have been so rude!
Forget please and thank you!

One consisted of the word 'available?' And that was it. Several just said ' when can i pick up? '

Wtf?
Surely if you want someone to give you something for free, you ask politely using please and thank you?
Aibu to give to people who ask nicely? And not first come first served?

OP posts:

ChitChatChatter · 07/04/2022 12:23

I don’t use Freecycle any more due to the kind of rudeness and entitlement described above. FB Marketplace is a bit better local to me but there are still a fair number of CFs. They just get blocked now. And yes, I do judge the way people respond to the listing, it gives me a pretty good idea of how likely they are to mess me about.

Meadmaiden · 07/04/2022 12:29

Yes, giving stuff away is often a pain.

I tried recently to give away some furniture, which was perfectly useable. Loads messaged to say they wanted it and would collect, but had loads of no shows. Eventually I just decided to get it collected by the council, which was a pity, but it seemed little other choice.

Also the messages saying 'Ill grab it' or similar. A simple yes please would work.

FlambeTomato · 07/04/2022 12:30

I have had two experiences where I have responded to 'wanted' posts on Freecycle and gone out of my way to deliver the items to people - on both occasions it will have saved the people £100s compared to buying new or even second hand. On both occasions the people were incredibly rude and ungrateful. I learned a couple of things;

Try to be happy that you got rid of all the stuff you wanted out of your house without causing landfill / a negative environmental impact. Regardless of who you have given it to.
If you are motivated by the warm fuzzy feeling of helping others there are other ways to achieve that. You are doing someone you don't know a favour but that doesn't mean that they will show any gratitude whatsoever.

FlambeTomato · 07/04/2022 12:33

Having said that, I have had a few things off of Freecycle that I have been extremely grateful for - I have been very polite, turned up on time and expressed my sincerest thank yous. To me that is the bare minimum that you would do when someone gives you something....there must be other people out there like me, surely?!

Skyeheather · 07/04/2022 12:37

@MrsSkylerWhite

I’ve given up on it now, too many no-shows when I’ve waited in.

I don't "wait in" for people anymore, I tell them what times are suitable for me to collect or I ask them what time they want to come and tell them it will be on the doorstep at that time. People have always been quick to collect items left on the doorstep because they know if they're not somebody walking by will have it!

froufroufrou · 07/04/2022 12:37

@Skelligsfeathers

Is it just me? I offered some stuff on there yesterday and some of the responses I have had have been so rude! Forget please and thank you!

One consisted of the word 'available?' And that was it. Several just said ' when can i pick up? '

Wtf?
Surely if you want someone to give you something for free, you ask politely using please and thank you?
Aibu to give to people who ask nicely? And not first come first served?

So many trash people nowadays.

Reserve your generosity for those who are polite and show a smidgen of manners.

Xpologog · 07/04/2022 12:45

I wait a few hours and offer to the politest person.
The “Ill have that, what’s your address?” Is going yo be way down the list.

Xpologog · 07/04/2022 12:48

@FlambeTomato

Yes, agree with you. I always thank the person and if it’s been left by the door for me I email thanks when I get home. Same as I always message Hi, I’d love to give your xyz a new home if you’d consider me, I can collect to suit you. Thanks. Politeness costs nothing.

And don’t get me started on people who don’t turn up……

Kezzie200 · 07/04/2022 12:54

It can happen the other way too.

I was very polite and collected a used paper shredder from free cycle. The lady told me in no uncertain terms she was watching gumtree, ebay and "other sites" to make sure I didn't resell it!!

I understand her sentiment but it did come across like I was back at school.

LetHimHaveIt · 07/04/2022 12:55

I don't you're being unreasonable at all. If only there were a middle ground between rude and obsequious. Imagine that . . . 🙄

If I were messaged: 'Available?' I'd reply - 'Depends. What's your stance on pina coladas and getting caught in the rain?'

SushiShopSearch · 07/04/2022 12:58

I've just had the same experience as you OP. I also posted a really cheap ladder my DH had bought by mistake (wrong length) for 1/4 of it's price (was brand new but I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of haggling so put it on really cheap).
One guy then offered me £25, then he offered me £20. I told him no, I wasn't haggling. He's now given me a really bad rating on Gumtree telling lies about me and it seems there's nothing I can do about it. Some people are so horrible.

2Gen · 07/04/2022 13:11

YANBU!
We've been buying , selling and giving away stuff online for a few years now and have had so many time-wasters, ignorant pigs and flat out loons, we've learnt that genuine people are usually polite, will communicate well and will not mess you about in any way. The transaction is usually smooth with a genuine person and leaves you feeling a bit better about people. If the item is free, they will be grateful, do all the travelling and one lady even gave us a little present, a lovely French lady!
Ignorant, sly fecker's usually try to take advantage as well! Beware of that and never let on you're desperate to get rid of anything because they sense it and go on to take the Right Royal Piss!!!

LittleRedRidingHood187 · 07/04/2022 13:13

Ignore rude ppl

One asked if I could deliver an item I was giving away. They were ignored

Fere · 07/04/2022 13:14

Thst's why when I have anything to give away I list it for £1 or £2. It gets rid of lazy freeloaders.

BastardtheCat · 07/04/2022 13:43

Makes me really grateful to the lady who contacted my elderly parents ad on Gumtree - they were giving away a child's wooden chair and a wooden plant stool. She showed up, told them that she had been looking for a matching plant stool
And insisted on giving them something. When they continued to refuse (they were just delighted that they were going to a good home), the woke the following morning with a bag of homegrown tomatoes and a Victoria sponge to die for.

Honestly, I do feel that people have forgotten what manners and humility are.

BastardtheCat · 07/04/2022 13:44

*on their doorstep.

The way ai wrote it sounds like my parents are rather dodgy. They aren't, I promise

BastardtheCat · 07/04/2022 13:45

*I 🤦‍♀️

Arianya · 07/04/2022 13:48

I could tell you a number of stories about rude entitled people. The people who hired a van on Friday to collect a fridge that I had said multiple times wasn’t being removed until Saturday, I was home alone with a baby and they were screaming that they wanted their fridge now and trying to barge into my house to take it. The people who collected my old sink from the back garden and decided to take my lawnmower too. The people who collected some free bricks (my drive was being replaced) and decided to take the new grey bricks (still on pallets wrapped in plastic) as well as the old red bricks that were piled up on the pavement. The people who came for some free leftover plants and said there wasn’t enough so could I dig up the others that I’d planted in my front garden. I don’t bother advertising stuff now, it just goes straight to the tip or the charity shop.

Original poster

Skelligsfeathers · 07/04/2022 16:11

OP posts:

GeneLovesJezebel · 07/04/2022 16:12

Ive stopped using it due to the attitude of people. My local charity shop always say thank you.

Original poster

Skelligsfeathers · 07/04/2022 16:25

Replied to one saying yes, item available, when would you like to pick up only to have them reply that it was too far away- without me saying where i live! Bonkers!

OP posts:

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/04/2022 17:24

Arianya

Wow - do you live in a particularly 'tough' area?

What dreadful, dreadful people.

megletthesecond · 07/04/2022 17:26

I ignore the rude ones. They're the type to bugger me around anyway.
Just give to people who can type a sentence.

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