To prefer solitude and being alone?

[Someonemustknowtheanswer]

I love being alone. I'm single with no DC. I live alone (have a pet) and I enjoy being able to do exactly as I want. I don't really miss friends and although I enjoy seeing them when I do see then (not often), I find chatting over WhatsApp enough social contact. I look forward to my weekends in terms of just having 48 hours to myself, I never think oh maybe I should catch up with so and so. I have a job where a lot of social contact is required and I can be sociable and have no issues building friendships there. I date occasionally but think I'd struggle having a 'normal' relationship where you live together. I'd need to be with someone who understood my need for space. I don't think I want DC. I often worry I'm very abnormal. Does anyone else relate?

YANBU, sounds like you’re an introvert, in the true sense of the word.

I can relate to a lot of that, I am an introvert too, but I do need more interaction than you and affection than you.

Yanbu. I relate to a lot of that, except I like living with my husband. But I definitely have a limit of how much I want to be around 'other' people now though.

You’re not abnormal at all. It sounds like heaven to me. I have a job where I have to talk and listen most of the day, and have two noisy teenagers with busy social lives, and a partner who likes to be out doing things, and bunches of friends I’ve accumulated over 40 years of school, Uni, and various jobs. I’m not sure I’d want it all the time, but I’d love at least a weekend a month like the one you describe. It just sounds so peaceful and pleasant and restorative.

You sound really lucky. To be happy with what you have, and able to appreciate it, is not something that should be under estimated. We are all different so there is nothing abnormal about it.

YANBU

You have a social job and it fulfils your personal need for social interaction. Everyone has different levels of how much social interaction they need to be content/happy. I’m similar. I’m a sociable person, can do the small talk, work jobs dealing with the public, etc but I need a significant amount of alone time to be happy. I love traveling alone and doing quite a few things alone because I only have me to worry about and don’t have to wait around for other people or feel the need to fill silences where someone needs me to continue to speak. I also talk to my friends through online messaging platforms and belong to a few gaming team so my interactions are mainly online where there is no pressure to reply right away and it is understood that we all get busy.

I think it’s a good thing to be able to be alone with yourself, do things alone or at least learn to do so.

Absolutely YANBU.

I recommend reading the book 'Quiet' by Susan Cain - it's about introversion and how introverts can navigate an extrovert world.

I do live with my DP, but before that I lived on my own for ages (and so did he) and we are both very introverted. We also happily do plenty of things separately, including travelling. I once told my mum that living with him was 'as good as living on my own' and then had to explain that it was basically the biggest compliment I could pay him.

I will socialise with friends now and again but not very often and always in a low-key way, and mostly they're friends I've made through work. I like social media because I can 'talk' on that when I feel like it with no obligation and without having to be in sociable mode, if you see what I mean.

You are totally normal. When I was younger, I used to worry that there was something wrong with me - I remember when I was a kid I had one of those typical fallings-out at school that 12-year-old girls have and my (small) friendship group wouldn't talk to me for a couple of weeks, and I remember thinking 'Sitting and reading a book on my own at lunchtime would actually be great if I didn't have to worry about other people thinking it was strange.' I didn't feel lonely at all - just massively self-conscious and embarrassed!

It was only really when I got older and found out a bit more about what introversion really is that I realised I wasn't some kind of freak - society really does push the idea that people must like being with people a lot, but so many of us really don't.

Thanks for responses. It's interesting as I was much more sociable when I was a teenager but I think there was an element of FOMO and forcing myself to attend things so I didn't seem like the odd one out. I definitely can force myself to attend things, but as I get older....I just don't want to.

I prefer my own company and that of animals to other humans. I can be sociable when needed but it exhausts me. I do have asd though!

I remember when I was a kid I had one of those typical fallings-out at school that 12-year-old girls have and my (small) friendship group wouldn't talk to me for a couple of weeks, and I remember thinking 'Sitting and reading a book on my own at lunchtime would actually be great if I didn't have to worry about other people thinking it was strange.' I didn't feel lonely at all - just massively self-conscious and embarrassed!

I was similar. I found the drama over boys and who was crushing who and whatnot illogical and mind-numbing and zoned out (Yes, at 11) so I just went into spending time with different groups who were similar to me. One of our things was just sitting together in the computer lab reading fan fiction or playing games on the web in silence or talking quietly. The librarian knew us by name and allowed us in and would happily nip off somewhere with us there. Fond memories :-)

I can relate to much of what you have said , I love living with my partner but also have plenty of alone time, he's very similar to me and we both respect the need to have a bit of space .
Lock down has proved to be a blessing in as much as I can chat to friends on social media without any obligations of meeting up - in fact I've possibly be more friendly as meeting up isn't expected
I am fine with one or two people but social events that consist of a group however much I like them it can make me feel intimidated, I'm good at looking confident and unless I say no one would know . Oddly if the event is "work" and a large group it's much easier - I can address a large audience or a reporter with camera without too much hand wringing

Completely with you on the " can force myself to attend " bit and have done many times, I also think it was easier when I was a teen but now I don't force myself very often .
Whenever I receive an invite to something - weddings are the worst - I seem to spend every waking hour trying to work out a reasonable excuse to give as to why I can't go , if only other people would realise the stress that causes me , and if I do go i kick myself for immediately on arrival I'm looking around for a clock to check so I can leave as soon as it's polite to go , I will literally count down the minutes
I could never be in a relationship with someone who is part of a big family with regular family get togethers it would be a living hell

If you’re abnormal then so am I because I could’ve written your post!

YANBU OP. I live with my husband but he's the only one I can cope with!

Also have 2 children at primary school, they are ok too and I love them to bits but I do miss alone time sometimes!