To be really fed up of no sleep

[Sickofnosleep]

My 16 month old has never slept through and while things have changed, that much is consistent.

I’m not exactly looking for advice - I have so many books about sleep and not one of them make any difference - and I definitely am not co sleeping, but when the hell is it going to improve? I’m really feeling quite fucked off with it now, mainly because I’m so bloody tired it makes me ratty and emotional and irritable.

Broken sleep sucks. 16 months of it is awful.

I hated cosleeping. With you on that.

Short of waving a magic wand, you’re going to have to sleep train. That’s going to need more energy on your part. Sorry. But it’ll be short lived. Gird yourself, stick with it for a week, 2 max, and it’ll be behind you.

I remember those days well even though my daughter is 12 years old.

Me and her dad used to put her in her car seat and go for a drive at midnight and after 20 mins she would be fast asleep.I think she liked the movement of the car but it always worked as we got at least 7/8 hours sleep.

She was the same in her pram going for a long walk but you can’t do that at midnight or in terrible weather.

I hope this helps.

@givethatbabyaname

Broken sleep sucks. 16 months of it is awful.

I hated cosleeping. With you on that.

Short of waving a magic wand, you’re going to have to sleep train. That’s going to need more energy on your part. Sorry. But it’ll be short lived. Gird yourself, stick with it for a week, 2 max, and it’ll be behind you.

100% agreed!!! The Ferber method was life changing for our family. Saved our sanity, and improved the moods of our kids too! Sleep is good for everyone.

I find it really weird how sleep training gets such a bad rap on MN. Almost all of my friends and relatives sleep trained their DCs, and both our GP and our paediatrician strongly encouraged it from as early as 4 months old.

It has to work, though. Anyway, it’s not a bad rep or not.

@avamiah to be fair he goes to sleep fine but then once he wakes won’t go back in his cot.

One of my mine didn't sleep properly until 3 & still not a great sleeper. Co-sleeping was hard as they fidget & cry it out didn't work.

Siblings were a dream though.

Currently up with our 2yr 3 months old DD. I've tried to sleep train, spoke to sleep consultants, implemented their recommendations and this is still life. She has never slept well. We may get a night or two a week where she will sleep through if we are very lucky. But most nights it 2-4 hours of awake time during the night. I am EXHAUSTED.

She is my 3rd DD. Never again.

Sorry I have no other recommendations. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Sometimes it helps.

Sleep apnea a possibility . All the sleep training in the world wont help if they wake crying every hour-2 hours.
Large tonsils/adenoids (and daytime snoring in our case) . Life changing op.

I'm On my knees with 15 month old twins not sleeping - think I slept about 2 hours last night

Why don't you like co sleeping? Literally saved my life with my eldest child. Can't do it with the twins though

Mine are older now,tbh found improvements around 2.5 to 3 .before that did co sleep .just worked as to getting some sleep!

My eldest is just over 3 and still doesn’t sleep right, it’s getting better but after a fabulous start between 4.5 and 10.5 months it was downhill for there. Sending sympathy!

She’s in a single bed now but we co sleep when she wakes - just easier!

@Sickofnosleep

It has to work, though. Anyway, it’s not a bad rep or not.

@avamiah to be fair he goes to sleep fine but then once he wakes won’t go back in his cot.

How does he get out of his cot? I wouldn't be lifting him.

Ferber!! Worked with both ours. First sleeping through the night within 2 days, the second took 4. Admittedly this was when they were 6 months, so may take longer with an older child. But worth it for everyone’s sanity. Both ours were waking hourly before this.

Sympathy and solidarity. Sleep training didn't work for us: DC2 is fully capable of screaming on and off for the entire night after his first wake up. We actually tried Ferber for several weeks: it never worked. DC1 was better, but still had one wake up most nights until at least 2.5. Sleep training is not a magical solution for everyone.

Thanks @Everydayimhuffling

I do really appreciate you saying that!

I’m here but with a 20 month old. It sucks but at this point I’m not sure what will change. Currently going down the medical route as he does often sleep with his mouth open/snore but that could turn into nothing. We have an ikea toddler bed that slots next to our bed perfectly so when he does wake I just have to pick him up and not get out of bed which makes life easier.

I’m just hanging on to ‘it has to get better surely to god’

@Sickofnosleep

I’m just hanging on to ‘it has to get better surely to god’

Honestly and truthful yes it does get better! Was 4 years before DD slept through the night though. Praying the twins don't take that long

Sleep training never worked with my first. We tried everything. Even paid a sleep consultant who admitted defeat. She eventually started sleeping through at 3 and has rarely woken in the night since (shes 8).
DC2 was a good sleeper from 6 months.
DC3 is 3 and I’ve admitted defeat and co sleep. It was/is the only way to survive.

I can empathise OP, DS2 was like this, every blooming night he came into our bed, till he was about 3! He was the reason there was no DC3, no way could we go through that again.

I must admit I am feeling shit about having two of them doing this to me.

Completely sympathise! Personally co sleeping was the only thing that worked for us, it meant we all slept but completely understand we are all different. Going through it again with our second, lack of sleep is brutal!

Solidarity OP. I could never co-sleep either. It's touted as some miracle cure-all on Mumsnet but if DS is in my bed I don't sleep a wink - he hogs the pillow and makes loads of noise and sticks his icy feet in my back.

He's 2.5 and generally sleeps really well though, but the other night he got in bed with me and DH and even though he went to sleep I was wide awake the whole night .