To think it’s fine to just want some of it, rather than all of it?

[CounsellorTroi]

This is a very interesting article which speaks to all women regardless of the title, to which I would add “or vice versa”

www.vice.com/en/article/wjwbxn/if-you-dont-want-to-have-kids-you-dont-have-to-want-a-career-instead

Bump

I would agree. Surely the point of feminism is that we can choose to have a high flying career, or a plodder job, or neither if there is financial independence, or hang it all up and be a SAHM.

I suspect it depends the type of woman you interview and what their background is. The article seems to capture the views of women from relatively affluent, educated backgrounds, and I’d take a guess they all live in major urban areas, too - and I suspect that’s going to drive the feeling that they should “have it all” more than broader society does.

I’ve lived and worked in London and I’ve also lived and worked in a small semi-rural Scottish town. The difference in what people want from their lives in night and day. Loads of the women I knew in the small town didn’t feel any particular pressure to “have it all”: they’d grown up in the area, they didn’t think they’d ever leave, they had their family and friends, they had jobs rather than careers and didn’t feel there was anything wrong with any of that. In London, there’s absolutely more of a focus on career success (driven not in small part I imagine by the need to progress professionally to have the quality of life you want here) and to compete with your peers.

There is nothing wrong with not being ambitious career wise, but for some reason this is seen as "lesser", particularly in big cities as the PP said. Lots of people who are less busy in their job have more time for community and volunteer work.

I m constantly told by the media that women feel pressure to “have it all” but honestly I’m not convinced it reflects the lives and feelings of most women in actuality. The stereotypical “career women” represents really just a tiny percentage of women. The majority of women - indeed the majority of people - just go through life achieving mediocrity and being pretty satisfied with it: plenty of people work for the same company or do the same sort of role with maybe a small promotion of two over their working lives or have a series of jobs rather than an action plan of career moves and find that a satisfactory way to live.

I get this.

After a very career dominated twenties, I'm now prioritising making the most of my skills to earn a lot, but I have bugger all interest in progressing. Possibly because I achieved a lot early on, and sacrificed a lot of myself to do so.

I have creative side hustles that are very fulfilling. The hourly pay is shite, but I get a lot of satisfaction from doing them, and it keeps the bank accounts topped up.

@IglesiasPiggl

There is nothing wrong with not being ambitious career wise, but for some reason this is seen as "lesser", particularly in big cities as the PP said. Lots of people who are less busy in their job have more time for community and volunteer work.

Ironically, it's also seen as lesser on mumsnet, where sahms are often criticised for neglecting their careers - conveniently ignoring the fact that very many people don't have a 'career' to neglect and can take as many years as a sahp as they like because their earning potential will be no different afterwards.

I have chosen not to have kids and have a successful, but not stellar, career.
Due to my low outgoings thanks to a lack of childcare costs and so on, I've recently moved jobs and taken a pay cut to be in a less corporate environment. In 2 years, when I'm 40, I shall drop a day at work and spend the time looking after the garden and pottering around my local town. Anecdotally, I know fellow childfree women who are doing the same, but childless women who have thrown themselves into careers (to fill a gap??)

I agree, but it took me a while to come to that realisation!

Always knew I’d be child free, and spent my twenties and thirties hammering away at my career, climbing the ladder and got to a very senior position with all the bells and whistles that went with it.

Hit my forties and had a “wtf?” moment. I didn’t want the career either! So I quit and I don’t work now at all which we (my husband and I) can afford very comfortably.

But - and it’s probably a big but - I’m only in the position where I don’t have to work because of the career I threw myself into and all the financial benefits that brought.

So I agree, but with hindsight.

I agree and I think the way that feminism has been conflated with capitalism has led to a lot of women ending up as wage slaves as well as domestic slaves, which isn’t liberation.

I have never been career driven. I work my hours and go home and don't have any aspirations to get a managerial role. I can guarantee with or without kids I'd be the same. Some people seem to think it's unattractive to not want to progress but I earn enough to live the life I want and I like my job so why would I change it? I definitely don't need any status.

I think that for a lot of childfree women there is an expectation that if you're not going to "do your duty" and have kids then you must do something worthy instead or concentrate on your career.
It's like women without children can't just "be", cant just be content and have an easy, happy life.
It's a similar argument to SAHM of older children I guess.