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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not be liking being back in the office

58 replies

Ceci03 · 05/04/2022 10:57

so we are back 3 days a week starting this week. I'm finding it really tough. For instance yesterday I spoke to nobody all day - everything was done by email, but I still had the expense and tiredness of a commute. Today I'm in again, and have spoken about 3/4 words to colleague. We work in silence most of the time. Same again tomorrow. I think maybe it's becoming obvious that this job just does not need you to be sat at your desk for 8 hours per day.

How is everyone else coping with being back. And yes I know some of you have been back for ages, but for those just starting to go back now. How u finding it.

OP posts:

user1497207191 · 05/04/2022 11:07

I think it's inevitable that things are strange when back in the office at first. People have been communicating by email for a couple of years and have simply forgotten how to work/communicate in person. I'm sure things will return to normal in a few weeks, especially if more and more people return to the office. Some people will still be in "social distancing" mode and won't be particularly comfortable about going in/out of other peoples' offices/workspaces.

Ultimately, there'll be an equilibrium as there always is after swings when they're too far one way (i.e. pre covid everyone in the office all the time) then swings the other way (everyone at home, no one in the office), and eventually, the "middle ground" will happen, i.e. the expected "new normal" of partial home/partial work hybrid working.

There'll also have been "face to face" things which havn't happened during covid, i.e. useful but unnecessary stuff in the short term, that will start to come back. In my profession, accountancy, we've had no face to face training courses for 2 years, and have had to do our CPD etc online, which is OK, but not really good enough. I'm starting to see face to face courses starting up again which is now desperately needed to get knowledge back up to standard.

catscatscatseverywhere · 05/04/2022 11:08

Depends on the atmosphere in the office. I like my current job, so I don't mind being in the office at all, but I worked in places where I would do anything to WFH, it was so awful. You'll get used to the commute etc., give yourself week or two to get back on track.

RedskyThisNight · 05/04/2022 11:21

The biggest change for me going back was that, because people now hot desk and come in on ad-hoc days, I'm not sat with my team that I actually work with all the time. I've consequently made the effort to just chat to the people that tend to be in at the same times as me so I've got to know them a bit. Whereas before I'd just ignore them!

There is no point being in silence in the office all day - just talk to people!

Original poster

Ceci03 · 05/04/2022 11:43

@RedskyThisNight

There is no point being in silence in the office all day - just talk to people!

The manager gives us dirty looks for chatting. And she hardly ever leaves her desk - when she does the atmosphere cheers up a bit. Otherwise we just work in silence except for work queries.

OP posts:

edwinbear · 05/04/2022 12:16

I was in yesterday, with 2 colleagues out of our team of 12. At one point, the three of us found ourselves discussing something over Teams - I was actually sat right next to one of the colleagues, the other was over the other side of the desk! It took us a minute to realise it would be much better to actually speak to each other - we did have a giggle about it thought which was nice . I think we all just need to get used to it again.

Fireflygal · 05/04/2022 12:20

@Ceci03, what was it like before covid? This doesn't seem to be a return to work issue but your management.

custardbear · 05/04/2022 12:35

Is this a new job since covid? Sounds like a change is needed!

Original poster

Ceci03 · 05/04/2022 12:44

It's the same job, but prior to covid I shared an office with just one other colleague who worked part time, so I was on my own in there 2 days a week which I didn't like that much. Now I've been amalgamated into a bigger team, but it's a headwreck with this manager. She's not here today and it is a bit more relaxed.

OP posts:

Fairisleflora · 05/04/2022 12:55

I just don’t see the point of coming back into the office when we all work better from home. Why do it?

balalake · 05/04/2022 13:02

I understand coming back to the office some of the time so that you can support new colleagues and the benefit of speaking to each other face to face on some issues. That does not mean 3 days a week though.

The issue however seems largely to be the manager concerned.

user1497207191 · 05/04/2022 13:02

@Fairisleflora

I just don’t see the point of coming back into the office when we all work better from home. Why do it?

Because lots of people aren't as productive/efficient at home and customer service levels have plummeted in some organisations.

Because newer/younger/trainee staff need proper training/mentoring which simply isn't as good if they're sat in their bedrooms.

Obviously for some organisations/staff, WFH is just as good but for some organisations/staff, then being in the workplace is better.

loudbatperson · 05/04/2022 13:06

We are back in the office this week too, but it's up to us how often we come in. We can still choose to WFH if we prefer.

Can you not put in a flexible working request asking for full time WFH, if that suits you better?

I am personally loving being back in the office and am coming in pretty much everyday. I feel more energised and invigorated as I have a reason to properly leave the house each morning, instead of moving from bed to bathroom to desk.

There are only 3/4 of here, and we chat when making drinks or lunch but apart from that we are all just working. We all work on completely different departments, so not working together.

CointreauVersial · 05/04/2022 13:08

OP, that sounds like a miserable working environment, regardless of whether it's post-Covid blues.

I am back 50:50....our directors are clear that they want more "collaborative working", but to be honest, we're doing most of that via Teams anyway (and only 50% of people are in at any one time). But it's a nice atmosphere, and we chat. There are lots in the office that I don't cross paths with in the course of my job, so it's lovely to see them.

To be honest, I quite like my two days when I can wear decent clothes, put some makeup on, and join the real world for a bit! Otherwise it's just DH and I stuck at home on our own, staring at the walls. The house is so quiet now the DDs are away at university, and DS has moved out.

CointreauVersial · 05/04/2022 13:12

Echoing an earlier comment, I think it's particularly important for those who are young/in training/just starting out to be in a "live" office environment to a certain extent. It's very hard to raise your profile, or network successfully from your bedroom.

Fine for an old git like me, but I'm glad DS is now going to the office once a week.

MrsSpooner · 05/04/2022 13:13

YANBU
I’ve requested officially to be made a permanent home based worker. Waiting to hear back. Prepared to resign over it so I’m optimistic I will get it eventually.

RedskyThisNight · 05/04/2022 15:54

So what's the rationale for asking people to come in and work in silence when presumably they could equally sit at home and work in silence?

Either your manager is a control freak, or there's real concerns that people are not actually working at home when they claim to be.

Or you all need to remember how you used to work together in person.

LittleMissTeacup · 05/04/2022 19:09

I’m finding it really strange returning to the office and it’s taking me time to get used it too.

SarahProblem · 05/04/2022 19:17

I think there's a difference between a business and team 'coping' during the pandemic /working from home and actually doing well. All very sector dependent of course.

It's annoying that my colleagues don't know the difference and see the WFH success as "it works with my child care". There are plenty of jobs out there now fully WFH. People should go for them and if it's a real exodus, businesses will have to adapt.

SweatyChamoisPad · 05/04/2022 19:31

We’ve been told to go in 5 days out of ten. I don’t need to be in my office - my team of six are spread around the country and my meetings are all online. My parking is £7.50 a day, and petrol is going up, but the weather is improving so the only reason I’m going in is that it’s an excuse to ride my bike, which I need to do more of. Nobody speaks to me when I’m in, it’s an ever-changing cast at the moment, none of whom I know. I did ask someone on the next desk if she wanted any lunch from M&S the other day and she looked at me as if I’d just admitted that I’d wet myself.

Shudacudawuda · 05/04/2022 19:37

If I was forced to come in just to sit and work in silence I'd be kicking up a stink and looking for a new job!
I'm still mainly wfh, barring the odd day here and there for specific things. I hope it never changes.

Sandinmyknickers · 05/04/2022 22:40

I've been going in 3-4 days a week of my own choice. It's not just about interaction for me, it's about having a clear boundary between work and home life. I find physically commuting and being in the office environment helps me with that, makes me work better and have better overall mental health as a result as I am more present when in each location.

JKDcot · 05/04/2022 23:23

I’m back in 2-3 days a week and to be honest hating it. The commute is insane and I forgot how painful it is (1.5 hour each way) and I just can’t be bothered with idle chat to people. I feel tired and more anxious than ever. Didn’t think it would be this hard so think I’ll look for a fully remote job instead

User3456 · 05/04/2022 23:34

I don't like being back in the office really. Too distracting, people keep talking to me, I can get much more done at home. I also don't like the extra time pressure in the mornings of getting ready and the journey to work. I'm only doing a day a week in the office at the moment but expecting it to increase further. Working from home has given me a much better work-life balance and I am more productive at home too.

leotardrock · 06/04/2022 00:01

Oh it's bloody crazy! I hate being back in the office too! We're hybrid working which means everything is done on Teams so half at home half in, those of in who are in are all sat next to each other in noise cancelling headsets!
You walk round the office to see who's in, same in every office, people sat in headsets! Absolute waste of time!
Honestly if it's an important SLT meeting in person I'm happy to go, if I need to access a different system happy to go, for a training staff issue happy to go but just for the sake of sitting st my desk with my headset on or trying to concentrate on a spreadsheet while people pop in& out I'm not happy about that at all!

WhatsitWiggle · 06/04/2022 00:10

Our MD actually sent an email round to suggest that we try to schedule "collaboration " work for days in the office and "head down " work for days at home. Now, not all teams have that sort of split of workload, and some teams are under resourced so everything they're doing now is "head down " through necessity, but it was good to basically by told by the boss that it's ok to go chat to colleagues on office days! It feels less productive but actually some things are more productive because we can more easily ask questions, or ask for help.

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