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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give DS calpol before nursery?

189 replies

CalpolDilemma · 05/04/2022 08:33

Our nursery has a policy that children can’t be given calpol before or at nursery in case it masks illness. They also send home any child who has a temperature over 37.5 degrees.

DS is teething. He could be unwell but he has all the classic signs of teething. His temperature is 37.6. He’s well in himself and happy and playing, but is slightly warm. WWYD?

He’s 18 months.

OP posts:
Lipsandlashes · 05/04/2022 11:01

@Beamur

This wasn't a policy when my DD was little. If she was unwell, I'd keep her home, but often kids are just slightly 'off' and within an hour or two of getting up would be fine anyway - if I thought it was that, I'd happily dose her up and drop her off. Same with school. Any fever or vomiting, she'll stay home, mildly unwell - pain relief and off you go. Obviously slightly more reserved about that with Covid.
Oh please - stop talking such sense!
flower277 · 05/04/2022 11:08
Hmm
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 05/04/2022 11:10

If you give it you should tell them otherwise they may give more and he’s had too much

SuitcaseOfWhine · 05/04/2022 11:16

Tons of times I've kept my kids off when they have seemed a bit off and they have been fine, so have wasted money and been off myself for no reason. I think you need to judge how bad they are. Might be worth getting a few COVID tests to put your mind at ease if you don't mind paying.

I used to be able to give kids Calpol a few years back before COVID and just told them to monitor the situation and they were fine with it. This was nursery and CM's. At some point we have to go back to doing things as we used to or we are going to have kids missing chunks of education and parents getting into trouble with their employers. Teething is a large chunk of a child's early life and we can't expect them to be in pain with it, which parents will ultimately choose I'd they have no option but to work.

It is hard as we are getting mixed messages from the government as they are telling people to get on with it, but organisations are doing things differently still and the government are not offering any support anymore for those who can't work either. Very frustrating for both nurseries and parents.

I once had a CM tell me that I couldn't have my child in if they had Calpol in the 24 hours before they came in, so that meant if my child needed it on a day they were not in they still couldn't go in the next day (basically six days a week then). My child had bad teething pain and I wasn't willing for my child to be in pain for 6 days a week during a teething episode, so we ditched her. People do really need to think about the impact of policies on the child, not just their business.

DownWithTheBloodyRedQueen · 05/04/2022 11:21

I once had a CM tell me that I couldn't have my child in if they had Calpol in the 24 hours before they came in, so that meant if my child needed it on a day they were not in they still couldn't go in the next day (basically six days a week then)

Ridiculous. And I bet she wonders why parents lie.

I agree a child with a temp shouldn't be going to nursery. But saying they can't go if they've had calpol within the past 24hrs for anything?! Stupid. And honestly how would they even know if your kid had a dose of calpol yesterday? I'd just not tell them if it was for something like teething pain.

DownWithTheBloodyRedQueen · 05/04/2022 11:22

Imagine if no one was allowed in work if they'd taken a paracetamol in the past 24hrs

PatchworkElmer · 05/04/2022 11:25

I wouldn’t send with a temperature masked by Calpol, no. I do think the ‘no nursery if they’ve had Calpol’ thing is ridiculous though- I’ve just taken paracetamol for a headache but I’m still working. Babies get teething pain etc and it feels very cruel not to medicate them appropriately for fear of losing a day of childcare.

Glenthebattleostrich · 05/04/2022 12:45

Thanks @glitterelf. She's doing ok. Hopefully its a couple of pukes and done.

I am closing in August and inconsiderate parents are the main reason. One told me she was picking up half an hour late as she was on a spa day and didn't want to leave early (actually the one who sent her child in sick. She also sent her 7 year old to school with chicken pox when his class TA was pregnant and was very put out to be bollocked by the head for that one). She even has the cheek to ask if Im working tomorrow because she has to go to work you know 🤬

@CalpolDilemma yes teething can cause a mild temperature. But in my 12 years working in early years experience it's a bug 99 times out of 100. We all need to work and the reality is my area is losing a bloody good childminder because I'm sick of dealing with "teething" children.

ChoiceMummy · 05/04/2022 12:49

@Chasingaftermidnight

I do feel for parents though because lots of employers are incredibly unsympathetic when it comes to parents with sick children. And dependents’ leave is unpaid and there’s a major cost of living crisis - plus most people are only entitled to 4 days of dependents’ leave per year anyway which isn’t even enough to cover a bout of chickenpox.

I’m not saying it’s ok but I do understand why lots of parents do it. Other countries have much more generous rules around leave for sick children which I think would help.

But that's what parents on young children accept if they opt to use childcare and return to employment.

Having plan Bs is a part of the life of a working parent. The reason many employers appear to be unsympathetic is because so many take the piss and often there are 2 parents in a household yet only the lower earner and/or the female, is the one who's constantly taking time off for their dependents.

zaffa · 05/04/2022 12:53

@PatchworkElmer

I wouldn’t send with a temperature masked by Calpol, no. I do think the ‘no nursery if they’ve had Calpol’ thing is ridiculous though- I’ve just taken paracetamol for a headache but I’m still working. Babies get teething pain etc and it feels very cruel not to medicate them appropriately for fear of losing a day of childcare.
I always drop her off without calpol and then ask them to administer first thing, to evidence it is not to hide a fever but also to ensure relief is provided ASAP.
zaffa · 05/04/2022 12:54

@PatchworkElmer after the first day of this, I am more likely to give calpol or nurofen before nursery (as we now have an established teething issue) but make sure they are fully aware so they don't also give her some.

CorneliusVetch · 05/04/2022 13:03

@DownWithTheBloodyRedQueen

I once had a CM tell me that I couldn't have my child in if they had Calpol in the 24 hours before they came in, so that meant if my child needed it on a day they were not in they still couldn't go in the next day (basically six days a week then)

Ridiculous. And I bet she wonders why parents lie.

I agree a child with a temp shouldn't be going to nursery. But saying they can't go if they've had calpol within the past 24hrs for anything?! Stupid. And honestly how would they even know if your kid had a dose of calpol yesterday? I'd just not tell them if it was for something like teething pain.

I agree with this too.

The issue for your child OP is the fact your child has a raised temperature. I wouldn’t mask that with calpol and send in for the reasons people have given, but my children are rarely ill so far luckily. I can totally see the dilemma for parents whose children are more prone to fevers and have less secure employment.

But a child in pain from their teeth with no fever or other signs of illness? Nursery policies saying you can’t give them medication to help with the pain are disgraceful.

UnbeatenMum · 05/04/2022 13:04

This policy seems kind of cruel. Babies cut 20 teeth in their first 2 years and it usually is painful in the days before and after one erupts. My DS once cut 5 teeth in a 3 week period at around 13-14 months, it was awful for him. Having to balance a child's need for pain relief with a parent's need to work seems unfair. I do understand that it can be hard to tell but I don't think denying children pain relief is a good solution to that.

Staryflight445 · 05/04/2022 13:04

Lipsandlashes

Staryflight445
@Lipsandlashes everyone else at the nursery pays exactly the same as you do, why do you feel more entitled to take a poorly child there because you pay for the privilege of the service?
The service can’t run properly whilst parents behave like this, surely that’s understandable?

A bug for one child can land another in hospital, why is that fair? those parents pay the same.
I’m not talking about taking a poorly child in to nursery. I’m talking about giving pain relief to a child who is teething - as per the OP’s original point. HTH

Lol, the HTH is so patronising. If a child needs calpol they shouldn’t be at nursery.

Staryflight445 · 05/04/2022 13:05

There’s absolutely no scientific evidence either that teething causes pain.

By the time mine had red cheeks their tooth had already erupted and both of them were fine.

CorneliusVetch · 05/04/2022 13:09

@Staryflight445

There’s absolutely no scientific evidence either that teething causes pain.

By the time mine had red cheeks their tooth had already erupted and both of them were fine.

No evidence teething causes pain? I am rarely stunned by wow.
PatchworkElmer · 05/04/2022 13:15

@Staryflight445 of course it causes pain in most babies…

SatinHeart · 05/04/2022 13:17

There’s absolutely no scientific evidence either that teething causes pain

And also no evidence that it doesn't cause pain, i.e. no-one's really done any studies on it at all.

OP, if they have a no calpol policy I wouldn't, simply in case there was some sort of emergency requiring medical intervention (e.g. paramedics) and the nursery didn't know that your DC had already had paracetamol. I know its massively unlikely, but still...

JenniferBarkley · 05/04/2022 13:18

Our nursery being open to us (or them) giving Calpol meant we could be fully open with them - more than once we've said "She was a bit cranky this morning but temp is ok, think it's just teething or a bad night but we've given Calpol in the hopes she perks up a bit. If she goes downhill just call us and we'll be straight there."

Our nursery know that we are religious about covid testing (more than 30 PCRs as a family) and waiting 48 hours after vomiting (we've obeyed that even when it's been car sickness). That means that when we say "think they're just a bit under the weather and ok with Calpol but let us know if they're not", they know that we're not pulling a fast one. Similarly, because they're willing to keep a child who is a bit under the weather but mostly ok in themselves, then we know that if we get the call we really do need to get there sharpish to get the DC home.

There has to be give and take - nurseries are germ factories and everyone involved needs to acknowledge that and be a bit realistic about things.

Fleur405 · 05/04/2022 13:19

The problem is what if he had a bug. Which he probably caught at nursery. Because someone else sent their child in when they had a bug (after giving them calpol to mask their temperature…)

OutingHobby · 05/04/2022 13:19

No that's a disgusting thing to do. Your child could infect all the others and cause issues for their families. Follow the policy or find other childcare.

Thehop · 05/04/2022 13:20

Theor temperature policy is stupid. A normal temp for each person is different!

I’m a childminder and take each child’s temperature a few times a week and log it. I know then if they really have a temp or not when they seem Ill. What’s normal for one os hot for another.

Thatsplentyjack · 05/04/2022 13:21

@Glenthebattleostrich

Yes you are unreasonable. I say that as I sit here with my childminding business closed for the day because someone sent a 'teething' child. My 11 year old daughter caught 'teething'' and has been throwing up since 5. Their choice has cost me 2 days income and put my holiday on Thursday at risk.
Also a childminder, and yes "teething" is used for an excuse for everything. Vomiting, diarrhea, temperature, rashes.
Thehundredthnamechange · 05/04/2022 13:23

I would

Sartre · 05/04/2022 13:25

@Staryflight445

There’s absolutely no scientific evidence either that teething causes pain.

By the time mine had red cheeks their tooth had already erupted and both of them were fine.

Absolute bollocks. I know my wisdom teeth certainly hurt when they erupted so stands to reason babies and toddlers have pain too.

YANBU to give a teething toddler calpol at any point. Unless you have reason to believe it’s actually a virus then of course they can go to the CM.