Working his holiday

[ThatsBullshirt]

I know IABU but I feel the way I feel so...

DH works two jobs, one FT day job and is PT freelance, and I am SAHM to our two young kids. He is ridiculously hard working and I'm so proud of him for how he's doing right now with his freelance stuff as he's finally starting to get jobs that show his worth. He hasn't had a holiday from his day job since Christmas and is planning to take time next week while the kids are off school. Only now he's secured some really great freelance work which means he'll be working the entire Easter weekend, half his holiday from the day job.
I was really looking forward to having him home, doing some day trips, seeing some family and just generally sharing a little of my "workload" as a SAHM. I don't often feel like I get a break from my day to day unless he's off, and even then it's just a reduced load, so I feel a bit sad and disappointed that our time has been cut short. I recognise that him working two jobs means he doesn't get a huge amount of down time either some weeks.

I am absolutely thrilled that he's got the job (he thought he'd been passed over) and I'm really proud of all the work he puts in but I guess I just needed a wee moan. I was looking forward to our time together as a family.

I think it depends if this is a short term, temporary situation or if he sees this as 'life' from now on.
If he is just starting the freelancing and this is a really big break then I guess it is worth sucking up but if he is a workaholic and prefers working to spending time with family, then that is different.

It also depends a lot on where you are, financially.

Try and do something big but short whilst he's off. My DH has had very little time off this last 2 years so we've aimed to do something bigger than we usually would because it's a short time. For example depending on the age of your kids there are some good offers on at the marriott hotels currently I think it's called luxury adventure or something.... kids got books and teddies, afternoon tea and dinner included and health club. It was expensive - but we did 1 night. Afterwards however it feels like we were there for a week we packed so much in!

OP I am literally in the exact same boat as you except I’m reaching the end of a pregnancy and it’s our first so not as much pressure on me as a SAHM as I work as well but my DP works FT including the odd night / day away and freelances on top which means getting in of an evening and doing more work, or working a weekend day and night, most weeks. We really need the money and I’m so proud of him for being talented (he has a creative job both his day job and freelance, and it’s a real passion) so I would never complain, but I feel if I’m not on top of everything else house wise etc I’ve failed someone as he’s working so hard. He does enjoy his work though and some of it involves work based socializing or nights out etc so he’s not that hard done to! It also makes me think ‘huh’ when he says we’re skint when he works so much but I honestly think with him he cannot turn paid work down. It worries me that he will prioritize it when baby comes, because i can’t say we have enough money don’t work this weekend, then expect him to just stay in the house with us and sloth around!

Anyway just to say I totally get your perspective and am in total sympathy! I’d say listen I was really looking forward to some time together, and plan a big day when he is off - out early to something fun, nice meal, kids in bed and then you have a drink together and watch movie or whatever you enjoy. Or like a pp said stay overnight somewhere after a big day out, somewhere with a pool and have a lovely breakfast sat down altogether being waited on.

@Kite22 the job he has just got is short term, currently a couple extra days for about 6 weeks, but his other freelance work he has is regular and takes up two or three evenings a week, most weeks. He's not a workaholic and loves spending time with us as a family but his freelance job is what he really would like to turn into a FT day job but he's not quite there yet. This is a huge opportunity for him though and the money is nice too. We are comfortable on just the day job but the freelance allows us to update the house/buy things for the DC/treat ourselves occasionally.

@LittleOwl153 That's a really good idea. I might have a look at doing something "big" this weekend instead.

@Blueeyedgirl21 Sorry you feel the same. It's rubbish, isn't it? I'm so proud of DH for all his hard work and this is a big deal for him but I do feel disappointed all the same. Make sure your DP does set aside for you and baby once they come. You'll need the support and family bonding time is so wonderful.