Should he have suggested seeing me

[loveindigoblush]

Partner and I don't live together. We're middle aged and busy with work and kids. Spend eow together and normally an evening or two per week.
I've been away at a family event this weekend so we haven't seen each other. We speak every day and text regularly throughout day. We live an hour apart.

We will spend this weekend coming together on our own for first time in months .Normally one of our teens is around at the weekends.

I am extremely busy this week, him not so much.

Here's the AIBU... even though I had said I was crazy busy this week, I think he should have suggested and offered to come to see me mid week. We saw each other on Thursday last for the afternoon, for context.

He hasn't and I'm a little disappointed at his lack of effort .
AIBU?

Yes.

Why didn’t you just ask him? Why fuck around and play games?

Yes you are. You've pretty much told him you're too busy to see him but are judging his logical response. How long have you been together?

If someone told me they were crazy busy I’d take that to mean they didn’t have time to see me, so I wouldn’t ask so I didn’t add to their pressures. You are imposing games on him he doesn’t know he is meant to be playing. Poor man, just be upfront with him.

Two years. Maybe I just wanted him to want to come to see me even though we'll spend the weekend together.

You don’t sound crazy busy at all

I'm really not a game player. We're very straight forward,
Me more so than him but I'm just thinking about it here.

@ImBurtMacklin

Why didn’t you just ask him? Why fuck around and play games?

This. You said you were really busy so stop expecting him to be psychic - if I were in a similar situation I wouldn't want to impose so no I wouldn't suggest it. If you want to see him, tell him

Is it that you normally travel to him, but this week you're too busy and he's not offering to make the journey for once? If so YANBU.

If you normally take turns to do the travelling and it would be your turn this week, and you think he should take an extra turn as you're so busy, then YABU - it's fine just to not meet this week.

But that is absolutely the epitome of game playing.
"Oh I am going to be too busy to do anything this week, how dare you not come and see me!"

Even though you'd told him how busy you'd be?

If my partner made a point of telling me that - I'd respect it. I'd believe they were letting me know they were unavailable.

What would posters say to a woman who posted "I told my partner I was crazy busy this week but he's just messaged me trying to come over midweek. We have plans this weekend anyway.

Oh ffs. Yabu and utterly ridiculous.

If somebody told me they were crazy busy, and I was going to see them at the weekend anyway, I'd assume they wanted to be left to get on with it. Even if I'd like to see them I'd accept they were busy.

I'm probably tired and just missing him.
Thanks

Use your words: “In really busy this week but I’d still like to see you and can probably get away for a couple of hours mid week.”

Anything else is game playing however much you think it isn’t, you’re essentially setting a test for him.

You have told us you’re extremely busy this week so I assume you’ve told him the same. If someone told me they were extremely busy I’d leave them to get the stuff they needed to do, done.

Although op I am glad to see your thread, it's so much like how things used to be!

YANBU he should make more effort. You shouldn't have to tell him to do it. Sounds like he's got "comfortable" and CBA.

@Sapphirejane

If someone told me they were crazy busy I’d take that to mean they didn’t have time to see me, so I wouldn’t ask so I didn’t add to their pressures. You are imposing games on him he doesn’t know he is meant to be playing. Poor man, just be upfront with him.

I absolutely agree with this.

You've told him you're too busy, then got annoyed when he's taken you at your word?

It's ridiculous shit like this that ruins perfectly lovely relationships. You are upset with him because he's not a mind reader, yet you're the one who said they're sooo busy. 🙄

@SucculentChalice

YANBU he should make more effort. You shouldn't have to tell him to do it. Sounds like he's got "comfortable" and CBA.

Rriiiggght... so op told him she's too busy to meet in the week, but he's a dick for not arranging to meet in the week, even though op has made no sign to say she wants to meet in the week, or asked him to?