AIBU to be annoyed?

[username78383733333]

I have a friend I've known for over a decade.

We used to be quite close but over time she's more of a accquitance than a friend but she doesn't seem to have taken the hint.

She goes on about herself a lot and never asks about myself which is okay I can deal with that, I don't need people to check up on me I'm an adult.
However there's been a bit of drama over the past few years where she's ignored me for months (blissfully!) and then returned out of the blue acting like we are best friends.
Shes always invited herself to mine in the evenings despite me having several children one with SEN needs and doesn't go to sleep till gone 11pm and is quite hyperactive (up and down the stairs needing attention constantly type of thing.) when she comes over she doesn't take the hint to leave and stays longer while I'm getting stressed out with DC.
I told her evenings don't work for me and weekends in the day would be more suitable. Expect again she's not taken the hint and keeps inviting herself over. I've made excuses to keep her at bay but now I've run out of excuses and she wants to come over and the idea of it is really stressing me out.
I don't know why she won't meet up with me in the daytime, she makes excuses and doesn't invite me to hers or anywhere else for that matter.
I don't want to be rude but she's full on taking the piss how do I tell her straight?

Well she's being rude so why are you sparing her feelings after all these months of impositions?

Yes she is being very rude, I don't know why I'm sparing her feelings.
Our DC attend the same school so I don't want to fall out with her completely incase it makes things awkward for DC mind you she ignores me at the school gates so not sure why I'm so bothered! I just feel like it's all about her and what's best for her.

You need to be blunt with people like this op. To be honest the friendship sounds one sided anyway and I can't see the benefit to you in continuing the friendship. You need to say "Look cf friend. I have explained that evenings are off limit due to sorting my children out which is my priority. Do not come round as I won't be answering the door"

@username78383733333

Yes she is being very rude, I don't know why I'm sparing her feelings. Our DC attend the same school so I don't want to fall out with her completely incase it makes things awkward for DC mind you she ignores me at the school gates so not sure why I'm so bothered! I just feel like it's all about her and what's best for her.

Re read your post op. She ignores you at the school gates. She is NOT a friend. Get rid of this toxic person

She ignores you at the school gates?
Wow.
She'd never get a foot into my house again.

Yes she ignores me unless I go over to her and say hello. Yet at the same time will message me on the same day asking to come over.
I believe it's so she has it easy as she doesn't need to bring her kids over as they'll be in bed, when she has brought her kids over to play on the very rare occasion it's always myself running around after them.

I don't feel like she's my friend that's why I said she's more of a accquitance these days. I don't feel like I can trust her as she blanks me for months and then comes out with really lame excuses which aren't true. She also gossips about other people which is another reason why I have my guard up high and get stressed when she wants to come over and my house isn't perfect as she's told me she looks at peoples photos on SM and zooms in to the backgrounds to see if they are messy houses or not.

"Why do you think it's OK to ignore me at the school and then expect to be invited into my home when it suits you?"

I honestly would say this, but then I have very few fucks to give anymore. She's taking you for a mug. Stop letting her.

Stop dropping hints, for a start. She's not worried about offending/upsetting you so why are you worried about her feelings? That said, you don't need to be rude. Just be blunt. She'll probably be very offended and ignore you but she does that anyway 🙄

The answer is clear OP. Say no. I can understand not wanting to be rude as I can be that way but I would have no problem saying no to this person.

When she messages saying she's coming round just say no it's not a good time / evenings do not work for us as I've said before.

If she turns up, don't let her in.

If she's rude to you anyway I don't see what you're being so silly for.

Tell her it's not convenient. She will only get away with this if you let her.

Think I'm being silly as I still have to see her at school events, school parties etc. and it makes me anxious.

But your right for my own sanity I need to just be blunt. No day time only.

You're not doing anything wrong though but saying no visits in the evenings. She's rude to you at the school gates and she gets away with that.