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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really crap on the school?

81 replies

User62618926 · 04/04/2022 10:42

DC in year 7 has a reward trip to a shopping centre in a nearby city. It's a big one, tonnes of shops, cinema, crazy gold, arcades, food hall etc etc.

Trip is to reward good behaviour and they will be walking around unsupervised for the day.

We as parents had to provide them with money to spend throughout the day. Most of them want to go to the cinema, then food on top, drinks, spends for the shops/arcade.

When I was in school we got rewards for things like attendance but it was something like a chocolate bar! My parents were never expected to fork out cash so "school" could reward me.

AIBU to think this is pretty poorly thought out by the school especially with current times? I know a few parents have complained because they are already feeling the pinch and are now feeling pressure to magic up £££ for this, many are taking even around £50 with them!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 04/04/2022 12:09

This is such a lazy 'trip'.

It would make more sense to take them to crazy golf or the cinema as the reward and ask parents for a fiver contribution to coaches or whatever.

Original poster
User62618926 · 04/04/2022 12:09

@Pazuzu

DS1 is going. Why shouldn't kids who behave etc get something for once?

The kids were buzzing for it and have been planning the day out since they found out about it.

A cinema trip is something they do normally. A day out without parents? Not happening. For one thing the local city centre is a druggie infested hovel. Where they are going is quite nice.

I think it's a good idea to actually reward the good kids for once. We can't limit everything just so it's fair for everyone.

I never went on school trips as we couldn't afford it. That's just how life is.

Because that's a great outlook if you're one of the kids who's parents can afford it. Pretty shit if you're one of the ones who can't.

Take your kid out yourself outside of school if you think it's a nice treat for them. But to rub it in the faces of those who can't afford it by doing it through "school" (who aren't even doing anything other than taking them) is shit.

If it's 'just how life is' why not let all the well off children come to school in designer clothes? Designer trainers? With their iPhones and smart watches and so on...

School shouldn't be a place to show off how much money you have or don't have imo. It is just life but school should be as neutral as possible in that respect imo.

Even having a trip like this but saying they are only allowed to bring max of £20 would be better than just some free for all of however much your parents can afford.

OP posts:
Original poster
User62618926 · 04/04/2022 12:10

Basically you can have a reward for good behaviour providing your parents are well off enough. Awful.

OP posts:
LividLaVidaLoca · 04/04/2022 12:11

I think you’re local to me cos I’ve seen someone beefing about this on (town) Facebook this morning.

Waves.

CloudPop · 04/04/2022 12:27

@Itwasntmeright

So the schools idea of a reward is to take a bunch of teenagers to a shopping centre in another city, dump them off to go around unsupervised for the day, then pick them up again?

Well, apart from this not being great from a safeguarding point of view, they are essentially providing transport for a reward that you have been ordered to pay for, and they won’t get the reward if you can’t afford it. You could refuse to let them go I suppose, but then it would have ramifications in school from the other kids.

YANBU OP, and if this was my kid’s school I’d be writing them an email with a long list of reasons why it’s a terrible idea.

Totally agree
peasandcarrrots · 04/04/2022 12:35

That's utter shit it should be a planned activity for a set cost booked by school, plus spending money to walk around/get food afterward.

cherryonthecakes · 04/04/2022 13:16

I have a son who sees going to a shopping centre as punishment. (I buy his stuff online)

It is a crap idea for the reasons you give. What are they thinking?

latriciamcneal · 04/04/2022 13:16

"At this top school we provide wonderous activities for your child! YOU pay while we bring your child to a large open public place, then simply allow them to wander off with YOUR money! :D You won't find such an attentive and innovative way to keep your children safe, well-rounded, and set up for the future! All for a measly five million quid."

Sartre · 04/04/2022 13:19

Ridiculous idea. If they want to treat good kids they pay for it, parents shouldn’t shell out for their reward system.

LittleBearPad · 04/04/2022 13:20

It’s a dreadful idea and really lazy of the school.

SniffMyQuiffyHair · 04/04/2022 13:25

@ilovesooty

One of the schools I taught at had a reward trip to Blackpool every year. The school paid for the coaches but parents still needed to provide spending money. That was years ago.

Surely there is no expectation or obligation that parents provide £50?

You are a teacher and can't see a flaw in the plan? What do the students do all day if they have no spending money?
CatsArePeople · 04/04/2022 13:31

Yes, it's shit. What reward is that if parents can't afford it?

ilovesooty · 04/04/2022 13:32

I'm not a teacher now.

In any case I said the reward in the OP was a pretty shit reward.

The one I referenced from years ago was an annual event and people had a year to save up. It was also linked to charitable activity in the community as a thank you so if parents didn't want their children to take part they didn't have to apply for the charitable event in the first place.

Rewritethestars1 · 04/04/2022 13:35

Yes its rubbish. Its not a reward really and especially not for those who can't afford the spending money. If school want yo reward children then they pay or choose something free.

2bazookas · 04/04/2022 13:44

What a hideous idea. No child of mine would take part.

Original poster
User62618926 · 04/04/2022 13:49

@LividLaVidaLoca

I think you’re local to me cos I’ve seen someone beefing about this on (town) Facebook this morning.

Waves.

Hello there! 😁
OP posts:
CarbonelCat · 04/04/2022 13:49

In all honesty, these schemes are all about rubbish (and this is even worse) because -

The kids being rewarded are often those with many advantages already. They are able to come to school ready to learn/attend regularly/do home work as set/commit to sports practice/not disrupt others etc because they have a stable home life, have supportive parents, are not young carers or disabled or living in temporary accommodation with no cooking facilities and witnessing their mother being assaulted etc etc. The have nots don't even get to have a treat but those who already have days out, holidays, pocket money, extra curricular activities get additional treats and experiences....

The reward in this case is rubbish anyway. I am bringing my dc up to not see shopping as a leisure activity. Encouraging mindless trawling of shops, indoors and with artificial lights is the opposite of what we should be teaching young people. Bad for the environment, bad for health, bad for your finances.

INeedNewShoes · 04/04/2022 13:49

This dreadful. So the kids' reward for good behaviour is their parents being coerced into spending a ton of cash they might not have?

If I was going to spend £50 on a reward for my child I'd rather do something together with them and something with much more value for money than hanging around a shopping centre.

I don't see how it is a school reward if the parents are the ones paying!

When DD is older, if she wants money to hang out, go to the cinema etc. she's going to have to earn at least some of that cash herself.

TiddleyWink · 04/04/2022 14:05

Horrendous plan and I would be feeding back to the school to that effect. Totally tone deaf and basically gives the school credit for a day out (teachers day off Hmm funded by parents.

Newrumpus · 04/04/2022 15:01

This sounds like a typical end of term trip that parents can pay for if they choose it. Schools call them reward trips so that pupils that have been disruptive all term are excluded from the fun without parental complaints of discrimination. At my school there is a school-based version too which is free.
Most of those not invited vote with their feet on the day of the trip.
The choice of trip is hugely popular with the target audience and is something that is looked forward to all term. It is chosen by the kids.
And school trips are hardly a day off for teachers - I’d love someone to explain the rationale there!

Pixiedust1234 · 04/04/2022 16:07

I am understanding your post correctly? The school is rewarding the children by saying dont come into lessons? They aren't even supervising??

Most schools scream at you and threaten fines or truant officers for taking your child out early for appointments or holidays bc its vital children remain in school to learn. Next time they try turn this round on them. YANBU

Maternitynamechange · 04/04/2022 16:11

The irony being that the truant kids can just meet them there. Grin

Ilovethecinema · 04/04/2022 16:31

What a ridiculous idea. I’ll be honest my kids wouldn’t be going. I couldn’t bloody afford too send them right now . Who comes up with this stuff? People with money, obviously

Thumpkin · 04/04/2022 16:55

Absolutely terrible ‘reward’ as it doesn’t reward the poorest children when they have to walk around seeing their friends treating themselves to things.

Eightiesfan · 04/04/2022 17:02

This has got to be one of the worst school reward policies I have ever heard about. 11 and 12 years olds left to wander around a big city shopping centre unsupervised is a major safe-guarding issue. Whose genius idea was this?

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