I posted this on another board but no responses. I have already called police and WA and SS. I’ve cut contact down to a bear minimum and only about DC. Solicitor looking at non mol. Police already said they think it will be NFA.
My STBXH left the home a few years ago. Followed by a swift child arrangements order. He now has them overnight unsupervised.
Long history of DA with me and worse to his poor ex wife.
Anyway, since he got contact we’ve obviously been liaising over the children. As a result (I know it’s entirely my fault) I’ve dropped my boundaries and we’ve spent time together as a family, he’s been so helpful and friendly.
However, whenever he’s supposed to have the DC he often calls and says they want to come home. Fine- they’ve always been able to. They come first to me.
Recently though I’ve come to notice this is actually a decoy to make sure I’m at home. When he has them he’s obsessed with my whereabouts. I have had to FaceTime him ‘to say goodnight to DC’ and there’s requests of help on my way home etc. and calls/FaceTime to make sure I’m home (wise with hindsight).
Come last Saturday night, I had friends over. One of their boyfriends picked them up and came in to bring one of their shook g to show me as going on holiday. Then they all left.
A short time later ex tried ti call so I ignore. So he texts saying one of thr DC feels sick pls answer. So I did. He brushed over this fabricated illness and starts asking me where I am etc.
I said I’m at home. I promise I truly was. And he kicks off saying one of the neighbours has told him I’ve been picked up and gone out (he used to live here and on good terms with those that took ‘his side.’)
So I hung up as CBA with that level of drama. I wish I hadn’t. Because then ensued 100’s of missed calls on every platform imaginable. Ima horrible lying slut. He knows I’m out with some fella who is actually a friend I speak to about once a year.
He MESSAGES this friend saying you’re a dead man walking, can’t wait to meet you. Friend blocked him and didn’t respond.
He then starts driving around my house and taking pictures saying look I’m here I’m outside your house. I’m not leaving till you get back. At this point in terrified. He says if i don’t answer phone he’ll post indecent images on my on my Facebook business page- then actually did it. I’m so embarrassed. I’ve thousands of followers. Anyway, it was late and the person who works for me managed to hide the images and then block him.
Then I tried to film him driving past but the bloody flash went off and he then saw me and text saying ah your home, I saw the fellas car and number plate- THERE WAS NO ONE AS I WAS IN BED!!!!!
Police called. Spoke to solicitor too and Womens Aid as I want this nipped in the bud.
I’ve since told him I’ll only be talking about DC to him and it’s ti be in writing or through solicitor. Apparently I’ve really hurt him and he has no idea why I won’t see him face to face again.
Police have said they’re gonna speak to neighbours. They’re gonna speak to his mum to ascertain if she did look after the girls whilst he reigned his campaign of terror against me. And if she wasn’t then report to SS. Solicitor is considering a non mol but legal aid dependent.
I’ve healed so much from the past with him. But this has come out of the blue and hit me like a bus. I feel so stupid for letting him creep back in. And I feel so demoralised. And feel like im suffering the loss of this dream that we could actually get on for the children sake.
I feel so sorry for them. It all breaks my heart.
Not even sure why I’m posting. I feel like it’s going to be difficult forever. He won’t engage in divorce proceedings that he initiated so now we taking him to court but he’s never turned up.
I feel like I’ve started the healing process all over again. It’s exhausting.