To try to talk to mentally ill neighbour?

[Terfeywithallthetrimmings]

We have bought a modest house on a housing estate to let out as an investment as our private pensions are worth very little. It transpires that the elderly lady next door (aged 73) has mental health issues and is extremely paranoid. Her windows are covered in strange written rantings about the war and she has fallen out with all the other neighbours. Police have been involved. My conversations with the lady have been brief but strange as she soon descends into paranoia about neighbours, Italians, people at bus stop whatever. She is known for banging her front door hard multiple times in succession and screaming loudly. She has done it while we have been there doing up the house. We have a very nice young couple moving in next week who work from home. Is there any point trying to reason with the neighbour and asking her not to do the door banging screaming thing? We don't want our tenants upset but I don't want to provoke her either.

No, she is unwell and cannot help it. If you are concerned about her welfare you could try adult social services or the police if you think she is in danger. You can tell your tenants and then its their decision if they still wish to live there. How do you know about her health issues and behaviour.

You should report welfare concerns to Adult Health and Social Care with your local council. Sounds like she needs assessed by social work/mental health practitioners and possibly supported accommodation.
Do you know of any family or next of kin for her? Maybe inform them.

It probably won’t make any difference if you say something to her. Does she have any support or family that visits her?

If it was as simple as having a word with her, the problem wouldn't exist. She is ill, this is not something she is doing on purpose.

She is unwell. She will not change her behaviour because it doesn't suit you, it's a sign she is distressed and needs help. I also doubt you will 'provoke' her, but it might be kinder to try to establish if she has any help from anyone, such as mental health services, and if unclear alert adult social care as suggested.

Don't bother. If police have been involved she was probably told many times that her behaviour is antisocial. She is ill.

She's ill. Any amount of asking isn't going to stop her doing what she can't help doing. You could contact social services but I would imagine if the police have attended multiple times she already is on the radar. It would be worth trying. I hope the poor women has some kind of support.

OP "Her windows are covered in strange written rantings about the war"

Which war?

I don't think there's any point trying to approach if she's fallen out with everyone. I had a neighbour who was a bit unwell but she responded to some people and not others. She's fine now, but she has better help so remembers to take daily meds.

But as others have said, multiple police visits suggest there's nothing you can do.

No, don't engage with her. It won't improve the situation and runs the risk of her incorporating you into her paranoid ruminations.

Please let your tenants know if you think the neighbour's behaviour will impact their ability to do their jobs from home.

She is not really engaging with reality so there is absolutely no point in approaching her.

Do you happen to know if the house you bought was priced lower than the average for the road/ area? Is there any hint that the neighbour threatens other or throws, for example, bricks etc into back gardens or attacks parked cars?

Have you talked to other neighbours about this woman's behaviour? If not, you should. You should let your prospective tenants know what they will potentially be dealing with. Door banging could be the tip of the iceberg.

Talking about this poor woman with her other neighbours will feed into her mental illness and paranoia, please dont do this.

So you have the power to stop mentally ill people doing things just with a conversation? Have you informed the NHS of this? You should be in hospitals helping people.

Be kind and compassionate but don't ask her to stop doing something she can't help. My nan had periods of paranoia and once threw water over a neighbour as she thought they were spying on her/ talking about her. You do risk making her more paranoid by your actions.

You can ask her if she needs any help. My Nan was lucid the majority of the time but had periods where the paranoia was triggered. She might be unsettled by the changes you are making and calm down again once the new family move in.

So you have the power to stop mentally ill people doing things just with a conversation? Have you informed the NHS of this? You should be in hospitals helping people.

Actually although you’re being sarcastic, I think a lot of people do buy into this whole ‘you just have to say the right words to the mentally ill person and if they can be bothered to listen, then they can make themselves better’ crap. It’s all that stuff on Facebook about just needing to talk blah blah blah. I knew someone who tried to talk someone out of their paranoid delusions. She was quite offended when it made no difference.

Did you not notice the writing on the windows before you bought the house? It's very unlikely that you will be able to change the neighbour's behaviour; but I hope that if your tenants are kind and compassionate, they may be able to achieve a fairly calm relationship with her and if she is occasionally distressed and loud, they won't mind too much. If it gets to the point that she's a danger to herself or anyone else, she will need professional help.

@BlsnketsBanned, by definition paranoia doesn't have a base in reality.

Talking to other neighbours to find out if she has ever keyed cars or thrown objects at people in the back garden isn't going to make any difference to the paranoid woman. She is going to continue being paranoid regardless of what is going on around her.

It would be helpful to prospective tenants to know if they are going to have bricks flung at them when they're out in the garden or go out to find their windshield covered in yogurt. I think the OP should try to ascertain the level and type of engagement the neighbour tends to have with people living next door.

Are your tenants aware of their new neighbor?

Would you ask a diabetic to stop being a diabetic?

How can you ask someone to stop suffering mental health illness?

The ignorance around mental health illness is astounding.

Did you not view the house before you bought it? I'm surprised you didn't notice all this writing in the windows.

Sadly she's ill, has to live somewhere, and someone will be her neighbours.

It sounds like a textbook case of Alzheimer's.
My Mum did all of those things except the writing. Was convinced she lived next door in the neighbour's house. Etc.
The only thing you, as a good neighbour, can do, is inform the authorities. Adult social care, SS, any relatives you may know of.

Obviously don’t know how the tenants missed the writing on the windows but I think it’s really unfair to let them move in and then expect them to stick to normal tenancy notice period etc. there could be daily noise issues for them and they may find it hard working and living next to her.

I’m not sure how much different this is to not making a declaration of neighbour issues when selling a house to a purchaser.

You’ve bought an investment and it’s unfortunately potentially got issues now, but I think you do need to consider being flexible with the tenants if they want to leave due to issues.

I’m a landlady and I can see how this could have implications for your investment. But it is also going to be someone’s home and I think you should be letting them know what they are likely to be dealing with.

‘Which war?’
Her windows are covered in writing about the war, does it make any difference which one?

There's nothing you can or need to do. Your NDN is living in the community with what sounds like an active mental health problem including paranoia

At some point she may require welfare check if she starts to deteriorate and self neglecting- ie not eat, not change clothes for months, house becomes in a severely neglected condemnable state of disrepair /and /or she starts to act dangerously to herself (or others)

That would be via neighbour calling police to report concerns and policing then visiting/ welfare check - after which police would refer to adults health & care- and social worker would visit if they felt it warranted it or they have lawful grounds to do so.

Or during visit police may trigger process for a mental health act assessment via APMH which is when someone is very unsafe and needs hospital admission to assess their mental state.

What you've described however sounds nowhere near that level - it sounds antisocial and with neighbour having active MH paranoid condition, but not at point services can stipulate engagement with her (if she sends everyone away). If police have visited before she will be "known".

I would also recommend you don't go out of your way yo talk with this neighbour. Just leave her be to get on with what she does in her own world she has created.

It sounds an interesting world and so far no indications that it is anything other than harmless (& perhaps a bit racist if she rants about 'Italians' but that will be part of paranoid story)