If your 6 year old is playing near you do you...

[drspouse]

Sit where the 6 year old can see you (and so can random adults who come across the 6 year old) or
Sit where you can see the 6 year old but don't worry if nobody can see that the 6 year old has an adult visible?
Said child came up to me and my two DCs (older one is 10 and is sensible enough to play alone/with DC2 but I was there). Asked to go on the big bowl swing with them.
I asked where their mum or dad were. Was told they were inside the pub (next to park, you can see park from pub but can't see inside - there are seats outside but they are empty).
I told 6 year old he needed to go back because we couldn't see that there were adults with them.
Child told me "BUT I'M 6 I'M BIG" 🤣
I told child to come with me to pub. Child ran ahead, I checked there was a parent in the window seat, all good, felt I'd done my duty. Didn't talk to parents and child came out again but I knew child was being watched.
Next thing dad came out and shouted at me. I pointed out I could actually have called police and in fact just checked there WAS a parent.
YABU: this is adequate supervision and I could have believed 6 year old
YANBU: parents should be where child (and random other adults) can see they are watching.

They shouted because they felt embarrassed. And so they should be - a 6 year old at a park alone while not in sight - no chance! They could hurt themselves or be grabbed and the adult wouldn't be close enough to act quickly as they're too busy out of sight supping their pint. Nope.

What did Dad shout?

If something like "don't worry, I've got my eye on him haha!" Or similar, I'd still think they were a twat but would be somewhat satiated that they were actually watching their child.

There's no way I'd let a 6 yr old roam free under those circumstances personally.

YANBU though to be it's less about whether you could see them as about whether they could see him and were supervising properly. Were they even aware he'd come up to talk to you? What if he'd approached and talked to the wrong person, would they have noticed?

That would have been adequate for a few children in our family and the children would have been happy with it.

What did Dad shout?
"How dare you tell my child what to do! We could see him!"

I've taken a child back to its parents when it fell off a 6ft drop in a playground and was injured and they were nowhere to be seen! I was shouting all the time 'child wearing xxxx has been hurt' and they didn't come. Parents were at the cafe having a nice peaceful cup of tea. Child was still in nappies and was with siblings but nowhere near old enough to be out of sight. Some parents don't give a crap.

At 6 I think it's OK for the parents to supervise from a distance.

All that text and the detail we really need is omitted. You yadayadayadad over the good part.

You did the right thing. There’s no way they could supervise properly from inside a pub. They sound lazy and neglectful.

I once had to dash and stop a young child from going a deep pond as the parents were being useless. My heart nearly stopped! Parents glared at me.

I would be close enough that I would be able to immediately start chasing/shouting/not be out of sight if someone was to pick my kid up and run.

If you're in a pub, someone could pick your kid and run and even if you immediately jumped up and started running outside you could be behind a wall while they put them in a car and not see. Plus obviously a kid without an obvious guardian is more at risk anyway.

Sounds like the kind of parents who prioritise drinking, and bugger anything or anyone else

They sound like shite parents and absolute wankers to boot.

The child just asked to play with your kids why did you need to see the parents? Are your kids only allowed to play with closely supervised children? Do they play out at home?
Very odd.

I'm sorry why do you need to know the child is being supervised so that he can play with your kids? What business is it of yours if a child is supervised or not? If your kids want to play on the bowl with them fine away they go and play. If they don't am sure the big boy 6 year old would have just moved on.

To be quite honest I'd be annoyed if you'd done what you did. It doesn't sound like the right thing just interfering. Plenty of cultures where it is normal for 6 year old to be playing alone.

Also sounds like you have children who can't speak for themselves. Surely the 6 year old was asking your kids to play with your oldest being 10 I'm sure they can actually speak for themselves? How odd

I don't know why you had to go and find the parents either.

YANBU
It takes only seconds for a child to be abducted. Some parents really need to up their game. Any day of the week you will see parents sat on the bench glued to their phones while their children are wandering here there and everywhere.
The worst ones are on warm days in pub beer gardens!!

The state of some of the responses. OP YANBU.

To be quite honest I'd be annoyed if you'd done what you did. It doesn't sound like the right thing just interfering

Ok, so at what point would it be appropriate to 'interfere'?

I don’t know why you took it upon yourself to find the parents. You acted like a busy body. You’ll always get such parents who do this next to pubs (with parks attached). None of your business.

The only time I’ve ever took it upon myself with someone else’s child was when I seen a young boy of 4 hiding behind my car in a very quiet residential street. Turns out he had ran out of his nans garden.

@OnaBegonia

The child just asked to play with your kids why did you need to see the parents? Are your kids only allowed to play with closely supervised children? Do they play out at home? Very odd.

My DCs are older (and my younger one isn't allowed to the park on her own). If I hadn't been there, the DCs would probably have told us about the child, but he would have been talking to strange children, not a strange adult. There are often 9/10/11s at the park without parents as the school my DC2 goes to allows Y5 to walk home alone. My DCs play on our tiny cul de sac alone but the other children are much younger so your observation is irrelevant. If we had a 6 year old on our street with no older siblings they would know us.

@PersephonePomegranate

To be quite honest I'd be annoyed if you'd done what you did. It doesn't sound like the right thing just interfering

Ok, so at what point would it be appropriate to 'interfere'?

Perhaps if I thought the child was in danger, which quote clearly wasn't the case

I wouldn’t have gone looking for the parents either. Yes, they are shit parents for being in the pub whilst their 6 year old plays in the park but it really wasn’t any of your business. When I was a child it was pretty normal for parents to do this, that doesn’t make it right btw but people parent differently (sometimes badly). I probably would have been allowed to do what the 6 year old was doing but would have had my brother with me who would have been 8.

Perhaps if I thought the child was in danger, which quote clearly wasn't the case

How could the OP know that if the parents were nowhere to be seen though? What about when the OP and her family were leaving? I personally wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a six year old with no visible parents and would have deemed that a danger.

@Eyedropeyeflop

I don’t know why you took it upon yourself to find the parents. You acted like a busy body. You’ll always get such parents who do this next to pubs (with parks attached). None of your business.

The only time I’ve ever took it upon myself with someone else’s child was when I seen a young boy of 4 hiding behind my car in a very quiet residential street. Turns out he had ran out of his nans garden.

The people in Liverpool didn't think James Bulger was any of their business either..........