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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has anyone witnessed life support being turned off?

52 replies

Comfortablynumbum · 03/04/2022 06:19

My poor 62 year old dad is in an induced coma after cardiac arrest for 10 mins, he had his sedation turned off yesterday and they are monitoring how he is responding. No purposeful movements or responses except flinching to touch and eyes open but I'm told these are both reflexes only. No hand squeezing or eye tracking.

He is on full life support and it will be coming to the point where they will brain scan him soon I believe. At this point if he hasn't suffered another csrdiac arrest and died it will be time to turn off life support.

Will I be offered the option of being with him at the time? If so has anyone here ever watched their love one die after it being turned off. I'm so scared it would be traumatic and not just drifting off into a deep sleep but I also feel in such utter misery at the thought of him being alone without me there (he is divorced, I'm his only daughter, his everything)

I would be on my own watching him go if they even gave me the option without anyone in there with me to support me.

I'm completely traumatised already if I'm honest, it's the worst thing I've ever seen and I saw my poor grandad waste away to cancer but this is just poor utter horror in seeing him kept alive like this.

I just want to get on the bed and give him a cuddle and I can't.

If anyone has ever experienced anything similar please tell me if you have regrets with the decisions you made. I'm in pieces and haven't slept again for the second night now so I can't even be sure I'm thinking straight.

OP posts:
LittleEsme · 06/08/2023 21:58

Eddiep57 · 06/08/2023 20:39

I was on holiday in portugal last month. Came home at 2am landing in manchester. went to work at 7am. Got a call from my niece that my sister was not well and needed an ambulance. I made my way to her house which was a mile away from where i was working.
I never expected to walk into what i did. My sister had suffered a massive stroke and had stopped breathing. I gave her CPR for 20 minutes until the ambulance arrived. They managed to get her heart going again and rushed her off to A&E.
3 hours later the Doctors came into the room and informed us that her brain injury was unsurvivible and the life support was being withdrawn. Myself and my niece stayed with her until she passed away.
The 2nd July was the worst day of my life, I am broken. She was only 68

@Eddiep57 I'm really saddened to read this. I'm so sorry. The trauma of that must be hard to bare, on top
of your grief of losing your sister.

Sending you love and prayers. X

Roselilly36 · 07/08/2023 07:54

Yes, 32 years ago, I can remember every detail of that day. Not something you ever forget.

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