Parent in heart failure/coma... no power of attorney

[Comfortablynumbum]

Posting here as got nothing so far in legal matters on mumsnet.

My poor 62 yo dad has had a cardiac arrest from undiagnosed heart failure and his heart stopped for 10 mins but he was brought back right at 10 mins mark. There is virtually no hope of him coming back but we are waiting to see if his heart can stabilise and if there is any brain function but I've been told 99.9% he isn't going to make it and it's now waiting to see if he has another arrest or to switch off life support after we've given him time which might be next week.

Unfortunately the hospital has lost his house keys and theyre not in with his belongings which have been given to me as I'm the only next of kin. Ive called all around hospital but nothing. He has no will or power of attorney etc

I am his only child and he lives alone, we live about 100 miles apart and I have a 2, 4, 6 year old so I don't know what on earth I'm going to do this week but need to go home to see them soon. I went to his house today to check the paramedics locked his front door (which they did) but a window is open upstairs. The house is terraced but the side access has been blocked by the other houses fencing over it, so I can't look round the back. I don't have a spare key as he had a new door fitted before covid hit. No one I know has a spare.

I really want to get in to shut the window and turn everything off and make sure the back is locked and take anything out the fridge etc. Im scared of what I might find inside as it transpired he was poorly in the week prior to hospital admission and could barely walk but he didn't want want to worry me. Spoke to a locksmith today but as its not my house they won't force entry and change the locks without power of attorney proof or similar.

What am I to do as I can't get inside to make sure everything is OK, shut windows and make sure everything is turned off? Does anyone have any advice or know if I have to wait for the inevitable before I can gain entry? Is there anything I can get legally after he dies before going through probate etc does anyone know? Although it's my dads house I do still have my bedroom there and some childhood personal belongings in my old room.

I just dont know what to do, I haven't slept in coming up to 48hrs so apologies. My mind is on over drive and I just want to secure his house for him... I feel so useless just sat here waiting.

Good morning OP

Am so so sorry about your dear Pa.

Appalling that the hospital has lost his keys.

Obvs if you can locate these, it at least saves you the hassle of trying to prove NOK with any locksmith.

Have you managed to ask ward clerk/sister in charge as to what happens when someone is brought in in cardiac arrest?

Would the hospital PALS (Patient advise and liaison service) be able to help?

I'd email them today...

Say how important it is that you access your dad's home... Eg for safety /may have left gas/water on etx etc

Also ask them to call you.

Ask for them to do thr legwork as you need your sleep/spend time with your Pa.

Good luck

Another more immediate idea...

Do you know any of the neighbours? Anyone with a ladder who would hop through the window and open the front door?
(this happened to us... Neighbour died very suddenly, his widow left in a flight of grief - no one had any idea where she was... She'd left a top window open.. In a storm.. Which was now shattering glass. Some other nice neighbours found a long ladder and got in to secure the window - she was so pleased that people had been bothered enough to do this.)

Once you're in, presumably as your dad's NOK you could get locks changed - swapping the barrel is really pretty straightforward. Any helpful neighbours that may be could be helpful with this? As guess your attention needs to be elsewhere.

If you've not managed to get into the house in next couple of days. Ring the age concern helpline... They should be able to advise?

I’m so sorry to hear this.

If your father had his cardiac arrest at home it’s likely the keys didn’t come in with him - it’s a really intense scenario and if the paramedics got him back their priority would be to stabilise him and get him to hospital as soon as possible and once there the focus would be on managing a very very sick person, not on his possessions.

Do you have anything else that proves your relationship with your father? Can the neighbours let you in round to the back?

Oh goodness what a situation. I'm so sorry, you must be in a state.

I think I would start with the neighbours who have blocked the access - see if one of them will let you through to at least have a look round the back?

Would you be able to close the window from the outside if someone lent you a long ladder? I hate climbing ladders so would at least ask one of the neighbours to hold the ladder for me (hoping they'd do it for me in fact..)

I would also talk to the police on 101 to emphasise the open window and the house left insecure - see what they can advise you.

If no joy from those, I would ask another locksmith or two. There might be one who would do it if you can provide some ID. It's possible that a brief letter signed by a doctor on hospital headed paper dating that your dad who lives at x address has lost mental capacity might influence a locksmith to help.

If you need to leave before doing all this, I would say leave. An open window upstairs isn't great but isn't the end of the world either.

Thank you all for replying to me.

He was taken via ambulance with phnumonia and breathing troubles and carrying his stuff himself. He then got transferred via ambulance from big hospital to another cardiac specialist hosp. Whilst at cardiac unit the next day the arrest took place and it was only on admissions to icu where they took ownership of his things and did an inventory.

I've chatted to nurses, ward sisters etc and called both hospitals and been promised call backs but no one has been back in touch from.lpst property etc; its needle haystack territory apparently.

So once I'm actually inside the property would someone change the locks at my request without proof of anything? I have no paperwork as next of kin, that's just what my dad told the hosp at admission. I don't know if there's something I can legally obtain to say next of kin? My uncle said he could pop the front window glass out if I needed. I declined at the time he offered because I didn't want to unlock the door and then have no key to lock back up with after again when I left if locksmiths wouldn't do anything.

Other than jumping the neighbours fence I have no idea how I'd get over to my dad's side as he's right at the other end. Also the window is kind of awkward and I don't think it would be safe to get through.

There's no through access now it's all been blocked by fencing so I'd have to fence hop and I don't think I can.

I'm sorry for being so stupid but does a birt cert from say 1986 time have both parents names on? I have a birth cert back home 100 miles away so could get that.

OP, so sorry about your Dad. If your father told the hospital you were his next of kin it will be documented in his notes.

If you can get in through the open window - or the one your uncle can take the glass out of, just call a different locksmith and have the lock changed. Don’t explain the situation, just say you want the lock changed. I’ve never been asked for proof of ownership etc by a locksmith and I’ve had lots changed over the years.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I second PALs. It is unacceptable that they have lost his keys as someone clearly locked up when he left the house. They probably won’t be able to find them sadly, but it will help with procedures and training for the next poor family in this situation.

I would call the police on 101 and ask their advice.

Have you tried calling the police? They will be able to check with the hospital that you are NOK, then possibly advise a locksmith of that fact?

Hi OP.I’m sorry this is happening. Next of kin at the hospital doesn’t mean anything legally anywhere else. A letter frm the hospital etc won’t mean anything, there is a reason LPAs exist. The locksmith cannot change the locks without a power of attorney. The only alternative is to apply for a court order which takes a long time and is v expensive. As awful as it is, you will be able to do more once your dad passes. Take care x

Hi I'm so sorry about your dad, what a horrible shock.

Don't go trying to climb through the window.

Ask the Hospital Help desk, or ask a nurse on the desk where you are. Explain briefly the problem and that you have three little kids waiting at home so you dont have much time. Ask if they can write a note on a piece of headed paper to confirm your dad is in a critical condition and you are next of Next of Kin; it may be enough to get a sympathetic locksmith to help. Try calling a few more.

Also in the morning get your DP to take a photo of your UK driver's licence and your birth certificate, you don't need to drive home for ID.

Failing that -Do a locksmith call-out without mentioning the fact you don't live there?!

If you get the police to help they will just break a window to get in (they don't have a locksmiths tools or skills) and that creates another problem.

PS when you go to your dad's house it may be a mess, but ignore all that. Focus on what is important and make a list whole you are sitting in hospital:

1. ring on next door neighbour's door and explain. Offer to leave your number in case of a problem at the house. Ask if they would be kind enough to put your dad's bins out this week as you have to go home to your 3 kids
2. empty the fridge of anything perishable. Then Empty the bin and food waste into a refuse sack. Depending on outcome of step (1) either take the sack home, or leave it for neighbour to deal with.
3. check heating is on a low setting
4. find your dad's birth certificate, marriage certificate, bank statement, passport, driver's license. If you can find out his NHS number and NI number even better
5. if he works, try and find a pay slip or letter with his manager/Hr name or phone number
6. his phone and his charger
7. his iPad or similar
8. his car keys
9. his house insurance details
10. his address book, if he has one
11. any small valuable items, cash, his wallet/cards
12. before you leave close the curtains just past halfway so people can't look in and it doesnt look unlived-in at night.

If he has a fingerprint access to his phone, while you are with him in hospital you can log it in and change the pin/fingerprint access. Then you'll be able to access your dad's emails, texts and messges - this is so useful when someone is very ill or sadly dies.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is such hard work and emotionally draining when you're handling this along with having little kids. I remember when my (now late) mum was stuck in hospital 60 miles away, it was so exhausting both mentally and physically. Your kids will be fine - I promise - just call on everyone you know to help, it's amazing how kind people can be in a crisis.

@Comfortablynumbum

There's no through access now it's all been blocked by fencing so I'd have to fence hop and I don't think I can.

I'm sorry for being so stupid but does a birt cert from say 1986 time have both parents names on? I have a birth cert back home 100 miles away so could get that.

My 1982 bc has both parents names on. Mine were married, so my mum registered me and put both names on. If yours were too or your dad came with your mum to register your birth he should be on there. Hospital/locksmith should take a photo/pdf of bc as proof so you don’t have to travel. Don’t forget to get a copy of your marriage certificate too if you’ve changed your name.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. Good luck @Comfortablynumbum

Call a different locksmith and say you've been locked out. Don't say it's your dad's house. Once in grab all important papers and try and find a spare key. If you can't then you will need to get the locks changed , again, just don't tell them it's not your house. Hope you get in OP, and I'm sorry about your dad. X

@nomistake

Call a different locksmith and say you've been locked out. Don't say it's your dad's house. Once in grab all important papers and try and find a spare key. If you can't then you will need to get the locks changed , again, just don't tell them it's not your house. Hope you get in OP, and I'm sorry about your dad. X

Exactly this, just try different lock smiths. I'm sure there are ones out there. Or any handy men/people that can force a window etc. I'm sure if I got locked out of my house my dad would be able to get in (builder carpenter type).

Lock smith won't ask for proof u don't live there so maybe don't tell them . Your long birth certificate will definitely have parents listed (assuming your dads on it) can't remember if short one does. Ask someone to photograph it and send it to you.

Just try a different locksmith, I wouldn't even go into detail about whose house it is.

OP is it possible to ask the hospital for a letter confirming your dad is an inpatient? This might help with a locksmith?

It really is worth knocking at a few neighbours houses, as a PP said my DP would be able to change a lock and has done for a few neighbours, although he isn't a locksmith. You could knock and explain that your dad is in hospital and ask them to keep an eye on the house for you, then mention you are having trouble getting in it you feel uncomfortable asking, someone might offer.