Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Hungry man rummaging in next doors bin

39 replies

Lemonlady22 · 03/04/2022 03:12

Awake at 2.30 am, bedroom light on, sat in bed (don't sleep well, long standing health condition) hear bins being rattled outside next door (they keep them on the pavement even though we have front gardens, sideways/drives) look outside expecting to see a fox trying to get in the bin, and see a man pulling stuff out, throwing rubbish about. I said 'what are you doing' he looked up, started to yell at me about being starving, looking for something to eat, benefits have stopped his money etc. He apologised for making a racket, and staggered off to the next house, looking in their garden waste bin... I felt a bit mean and could have given him food but was worried about opening door, in case he was drunk, drug user, homicidal maniac (was watching court tv). I thought of phoning the police, cos maybe they would offer him some food and a bed if arrested...but he had only bin rummaged, so now I sat at 3.10 am worried about him. What would you have done...anyone awake?

OP posts:

avamiah · 03/04/2022 03:16

At this time in the morning absolutely nothing.

You did the Right thing and don’t let anybody tell you any different.

Calandor · 03/04/2022 04:57

Nothing tbh. Might put a sandwich out in a ziploc with a note the next few days. Would be lovely to be able to give him a cuppa and a sandwich but tbh you don't know if they'll rob you.

You're a woman and self safety takes precedent.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 03/04/2022 05:11

You describe him as staggering and rummaging through the garden waste bin.

To me that suggests, sadly, he is drunk, and possibly hungry on his way home from the pub.

I wouldn’t automatically believe the story about being starving, looking for something to eat and having benefits stopped. If that were the case, hanging around the back of restaurant kitchens would men a much better option than domestic rubbish bins.

BOOTS52 · 03/04/2022 05:35

I would be scared also and don't think I would have even said anything to him. More annoying is why don't the neighbours bring their bins in around the side until the next bin collection. Maybe he was hungry but sounds like he has other issues if staggering around and what did he think he would find in the bins.

HappyMeal564 · 03/04/2022 06:15

@Calandor

Nothing tbh. Might put a sandwich out in a ziploc with a note the next few days. Would be lovely to be able to give him a cuppa and a sandwich but tbh you don't know if they'll rob you.

You're a woman and self safety takes precedent.

Don't offer him a sandwich or a cuppa. It's sad but you don't know him or his situation. You need to look after you. If you see him again direct him to your local food bank

mycatisannoying · 03/04/2022 06:49

I'd have offered him food. I don't go through life assuming others are homicidal lunatics.
48 years old and still alive.

sjxoxo · 03/04/2022 06:52

Agree you could leave a sandwich and maybe some info about foodbank or charity where he could get some help. xo

LndnGrl · 03/04/2022 06:53

@DifficultBloodyWoman

You describe him as staggering and rummaging through the garden waste bin.

To me that suggests, sadly, he is drunk, and possibly hungry on his way home from the pub.

He could be diabetic and confused.

I wouldn't have opened my door but I wouldn't have shouted at him either, I'd have left him to it, or as a pp said, ziplocked something and lowered it from a window to him.

veronicagoldberg · 03/04/2022 07:05

Diabetic and confused 🤣

Peak Mumsnet. Maybe he had autism too?

user3837313202 · 03/04/2022 07:08

I'd have sent him home with something to eat. He's clearly pretty desperate.

If he was just on his way home from the pub he'd have gone to the kebab shop fgs.

LndnGrl · 03/04/2022 07:48

@veronicagoldberg

Diabetic and confused 🤣

Peak Mumsnet. Maybe he had autism too?

Diabetics can appear drunk.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 03/04/2022 08:38

He could be diabetic and confused.

Yes, he could be. But I think drunk is a far more plausible explanation.

He could have killed his wife and been hiding body parts in random bins and his excuse of being hungry and broke was just part of his cover story. But I think drunk is a far more plausible explanation.

He could have been an escaped prisoner on the run from the police. But I think drunk is a far more plausible explanation.

I could go on but I think you get the drift.

fortheloveofcheesecake · 03/04/2022 08:59

I would leave some food out on my gate with a note attached and info on where to find help.
Years ago we had a local homeless man who lived in a tent. He had had a hard life but was a polite and interesting man when you got to talk to him who had fallen on bad times. Many locals would leave food for him as we had seen him rummaging in bins frequently. I wouldn't have approached your man at night OP....you did the right thing...but maybe just leave something out in case he returns.
There but for the grace of God and all that.

Maternitynamechange · 03/04/2022 09:04

Diabetics can appear confused but usually during waking hours.

I wouldn’t do anything. Safety takes priority.

iheartmybeachhut · 03/04/2022 09:07

I don't think I'd engage with offering food tbh as it might cause further interaction and you don't know this person. Probably harmless but you never can tell.

RantyAunty · 03/04/2022 09:14

With things how they are, there will be a lot more of this.

You can put out some bottled water and something in a ziplocked bag out if you want with a note.

If he comes back, you could get a cheap thermos and fill with a hot drink and sandwich.

When I used to work in the city, there was a couple people I would regularly bring food for.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/04/2022 09:33

What you did.

But set up a dd to your local food bank, that’s the best way to help.

Libertybear80 · 03/04/2022 10:06

He's a human in need. He deserves help.

whynotwhy · 03/04/2022 10:12

Many of us should contribute more generously to food banks and homelessness charities.

junglejane66 · 03/04/2022 11:51

TBH you'd need to be really hungry and really drunk to be rummaging through a bin on the way home from the pub.
Is there a kebab shop nearby OP? Maybe direct him to that? Lower directions in a ziplock bag from an upper window with the aid of a fishing rod if necessary

FlaxenPaws · 03/04/2022 11:55

In this instance it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. Follow your instincts, you've done nothing wrong.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 03/04/2022 11:55

@junglejane66

TBH you'd need to be really hungry and really drunk to be rummaging through a bin on the way home from the pub. Is there a kebab shop nearby OP? Maybe direct him to that? Lower directions in a ziplock bag from an upper window with the aid of a fishing rod if necessary

I like to think I'm pretty good at spotting lighthearted posts on MN, but this one has me stumped. I give in, I'm sorry... was it a joke, or serious advice? Help me out please!

Newyearnewme2022 · 03/04/2022 11:59

I would assume he was drunk and to be honest probably throw him down some crisps from the window.
I lived on a very busy city high street years ago and this wouldn’t have phased me at all.

jytdtysrht · 03/04/2022 12:01

This sounds very odd given that:

most councils don’t allow food waste in the ordinary bin
garden waste bins contain grass cuttings, not anything edible
recycling bins contain, well, recycling

LegMeChicken · 03/04/2022 12:28

Sounds dodgy.
Aren’t there any restaurants or anything near you?
Household bins are unlikely to contain edible food waste.

You did the right thing it’s dangerous to make yourself known

Flip

1 2