Man-spreading

[cafedesreves]

Currently on a bus and can hardly squeeze on to the seat because of the guy next to me spreading his legs. He is literally making no effort to give me even an inch of roomS. So annoying! I hate confrontation but I find it so rude! Why do people do this?!

Why not just ask him to move up? All this passive aggressive game playing doesn't seem helpful.

I had a passive aggressive fight over laptop spreading on the train the other day. Table seat. I get my laptop out, man opposite gets his out, I move mine to allow him room. He then migrates into mine and pushes his screen further out to shunt me off further. So tempting to get a bottle of water out and accidentally spill it over his.

@CrotchetyQuaver

Last time I was on a train and this happened I spread my legs and elbows too just like his too so one of mine was touching his. He didn't like it, he'd huffed and puffed about me taking that seat the arsehole. Now I'm older, I just won't sit there tolerating such passive aggression and be all cramped up.

This

Stop allowing it and make them uncomfortable back

This is what bags are for. They know you won't shove with your legs so use your bag. Mine has sharp corners

@WalkingOnTheCracks

Just in defence of - not men - but tall people.

On most buses, my thigh bone is longer than the space provided. So I either have to sit with my legs at an angle between the seats, or with my legs in the aisle.

Neither makes me popular.

Thank you for that - I was considering my response backing up for long legs and short legroom

I mostly avoid buses anyway, but if I do have to be on one will try to get the front seat of a line and ideally to myself

I man spread, but if someone is besides me then I’ll sit straight and if I haven’t managed a front seat with space then my knees will be up against the seat in front

If all seats are taken by one person then I’ll try for pointing my knees into the aisle - which then means I’m in the way of people walking up the aisle, and on trains or planes I’m in the way of the trolley

I’d still hopefully be noticing before someone is squished in a corner

I played armrest games for 9 hours transatlantically once. I won.

I'm teaching DD to take up space in the world. It's important.

My DH does this, I have a word every time about it.

@cafedesreves

Currently on a bus and can hardly squeeze on to the seat because of the guy next to me spreading his legs. He is literally making no effort to give me even an inch of roomS. So annoying! I hate confrontation but I find it so rude! Why do people do this?!

"Excuse me, can you move your leg please? Thanks".

Where exactly is the confrontation in that? It's just basic human communication.

@BaronessBomburst

I like the poster who once said that that she'd told a guy to shove up, because "there's no way your balls are bigger then my arse".

That is brilliant! Fortunately I've not had to sit next to anyone on a train since before covid, they've been sufficiently quiet to have a seat to myself but I will remember this.

I'm tall. If I can't comfortably sit on a bus without compromising someone else's space I stand.

I find... "There's not much room in these seats, can you hold one of my shopping bags for me please?" usually works wonders with the spreaders!

Pre Covid I deicded to 'spread' back on the train, and had two very uncomfortable journeys where our knees were pressing into each other. Neither fella was going to 'give' and I didn't either. I inwardly squirmed all the way though.

Sit cross legged with the sole of your shoe pointing towards them, they soon budge up if it's their trousers that get dirty.

@WorraLiberty I feel like in London would be very 🤨🤨 there is such a weird etiquette on public transport!!!

I was in a very crowded underground carriage once and a man refused to move his legs to make room for the woman in the next seat. An elderly woman leaned over and said to him, "Adjust yourself, young man." He did.

@CheshireChat

Sit cross legged with the sole of your shoe pointing towards them, they soon budge up if it's their trousers that get dirty.

This is good.

I had this today in the cinema. A man sat next to me and immediately put his elbows on the shared armrest, but with his elbows over the armrest so effectively into my chair.

I elbowed him every time I took a swig of coffee or ate popcorn and then got my very wriggly DD to sit on my lap and he eventually moved.

If it had been my husband sat in that seat then I doubt the man would have done the same. Some men are such wankers.

I really don’t believe that pathological manspreaders are just ‘selfish’, I fully believe it to be a calculated power play at best, and something sexual at worst.

[quote cafedesreves]@WorraLiberty I feel like in London would be very 🤨🤨 there is such a weird etiquette on public transport!!![/quote]
Oh don't be so ridiculous. I've lived in London all my life and there's nothing 'weird' about politely asking the person next to you if they could move a bit.

I spread back. It's amazing they move when a tubby 40 something woman is snuggling into them.

I once rested my bag on the knee of a man who was manspreading on the tube. He kept trying to politely let me know that my bag was resting on his knee which I pretended not to notice. Then it made me laugh so I explained the concept of manspreading to him - he was very embarrassed and very pissed off

Friend of mine used to tell man spreaders that she was a doctor, and they urgently needed medical attention because if their balls needed that much space there was something seriously wrong.

It’s another form of “Patriarchy Chicken”. Seeing who will move out of the way first. Men just have to fucking colonise everything.

I take advantage of being old. I tap their arms and briskly say “Move your leg, please”.