AIBU to keep MIL away from my children

[MILTroubles]

A few years ago, when I was pregnant with my first, my MIL wished our baby dead in anger at my DH over a minor issue. She has a habit of becoming abusive and saying unforgivable things when she doesn't get her own way.
Unfortunately, I ended up going into early labour at 6months with that baby and he passed away in my arms a few shoes hours after his birth.

I've since gone on to have 3 more children and do not want MIL to have anything to do with either myself or the children. However it's causing a huge rift between myself and my DH as he wants his mum to have a relationship with them and I think she's forfeited that right. I personally feel that he's not defending us as his family by fighting me on this.

I have no one in real life to talk to about this, so please be gentle. AIBU?

You say the children have seen her. Is that all 3 of them?

I wouldn't ever had anything more to do with her but I think it's strange for her to have seen the children for at least around 5 years before you cut contact. If she hadn't done anything more to warrant going NC I wouldn't have cut it off if I'd initially allowed it.

although she's a nasty, spiteful POS.

If my husband was questioning this, I'd be wondering why I wanted to be married to him

I honestly don't know how you can even look at your pathetic dh.

I wouldn't have that vile excuse of a woman anywhere near my kids. No she probably didn't mean what she said literally but she said it.
End of discussion in my view

I can understand why you haven’t forgiven her and why you don’t want a relationship with her. However I’m not convinced you should stop her having a relationship with her grandchildren. Much better to have some control by insisting Dh or you (if you don’t trust him) is always there to supervise.

As you say if you allow this to destroy your marriage, she will still have access to the kids anyway.

She sounds awful and you would do well to keep your DC away from such a toxic woman. Set boundaries for their sake and yours.

YANBU. To say something like that to someone, no matter how angry, is just evil and completely crackers. Disgusting behaviour, words matter, I wouldn’t want someone like that near my children.