another bacholorette one

[stripeymadness]

AGH

So at very short notice, a childhood friend of my DF got in touch with me and a couple of others to organise a surpise pre wedding party for her. DF moved here from the States so doesn't have many close friends here, and had previously told me all about the bachlorette she'd had back home before Christmas.

I'm happy to do something for her but trouble is, this is all very short notice and party now scheduled for next Sunday with no plan in place. Predictably, everything is booked up.

Costs are spiralling (initially a modest thing was suggested), and I've now opened fb messenger to find they've decided on an afternoon event somewhere that looks a bit crap that will cost £100. Plus dinner and drinks (yet to be decided), and I'm guessing we will be expected to pay for bride.

AIBU to be really annoyed by this and think it's a bit much to expect people to fork out ~200 quid at such short notice for something with no thought in place?!

Me and my partner aren't struggling financially but we also don't have loads of extra cash sploshing around, and we normally spend really thoughtfully when we can splurge on a meal out or whatever. I feel like with the increasing living costs so many must be in this position now after previously being comfortable and I'm so confused why everyone is fine with this!

To add - there are only four of us in total (DF not knowing many people here)

If it was a huge group I'd just bow out and feel no guilt!

Oh, very awkward as there are only four of you.

It sounds as though you'll need to be direct and say the planned events are simply too expensive - either they need to rethink them or you'll only be able to join for part of the day (e.g. the meal or the drinks).

@Antarcticant

Oh, very awkward as there are only four of you.

It sounds as though you'll need to be direct and say the planned events are simply too expensive - either they need to rethink them or you'll only be able to join for part of the day (e.g. the meal or the drinks).

Yes this is very sensible!

I think the trouble is nothing is planned or decided so it's difficult to decline part of it when no one knows what is happening. And so I don't want to be to change things IFSWIM (I feel like if I say no it'll cause a flurry of new plans and suggestions, and more spiralling costs)

Perhaps you could suggest a budget to work within? The others might secretly be grateful. If ever there was a time when people need to budget carefully for non-essentials, it's now.

If no expense has been committed, easy to say no, and given the energy price rise, if they are real friends they will understand.