Is this usual?

[Gobrookeyourself]

I have a DS in reception, he’s 5 in a couple of months (so not the youngest but quite young). School have been teaching him things that I’m not sure whether to have a word with them about because I don’t quite feel they’re age appropriate and he’s gone back to night wake ups from worry.

They were learning about the conflict in Ukraine; DS came home asking me if a) the bad man in Russia was going to come to hurt us too and b) if daddy would have to leave us to go fight because in Ukraine the daddies are leaving their families to fight. They’re also learning that some kids are left without families. I’m all for teaching about current events but this feels a bit too in depth for me.

He’s been taught in the last week about the titanic. So now he’s worried about the house flooding (that’s what these wake ups have been about recently and we’re on our third wake up so far tonight) because he’s been taught that the titanic was the ‘unsinkable ship’ and still sank and nearly everyone who was on it got stuck because there weren’t enough lifeboats and they died. So he’s worried about our house flooding and us drowning.

He’s our eldest and I’m protective so I don’t know whether I’m babying him but I want to have a word with his teacher; am I going to be THAT parent if I do or are my concerns justified? Is this kind of thing normal for them to learn in reception?

Sorry, I didn’t mean to enable voting!

Are the school actively teaching lessons in the subjects mentioned or are they things that other children, including those much older as talking about? Dd is slightly older (y2) but she tends to sit with a couple of the older girls at breakfast club and had been exposed to some quite grown up conversation about Ukraine. I don't think it does any harm but if your ds is a little sensitive about some of things then maybe some reassurance from you about the things because unfortunately he will hear/see upsetting things

In scotland, your child would probably still be in Nursery so in that context, I would not be happy that my 4 year old was being taught that at all

That’s a good point @Findahouse21, thank you. When I asked him earlier today, he just said he was taught it so I presumed the teachers, but they have Y6 ‘buddies’ and tend to play with them a lot so it may well be something he’s overheard. I’ve tried reassuring him as much as I can but it doesn’t seem to be helping. He’s a sensitive little thing but he’s waking multiple times a night now, crying about war/floods/something else at school he’s heard. I know the conflict in Ukraine has been discussed by the teachers to them because they had a ‘Ukraine day’ where they spoke about it, dressed up in the Ukrainian flag colours, gave money towards it etc. I do expect them to learn about it to some degree, and I accept DS is probably more sensitive than other kids, I just didn’t know how much to expect it. I’ll have another chat with him tomorrow (or when he wakes again in half an hour). Thank you.

I also have a child of similar age in reception and would speak to the teacher about this. If the school has been covering this I agree it doesn't seem appropriate for reception.

I think when kids are at school it’s inevitable they will be exposed to major news stories like this. So as parents we need to explain them first, in a calm and reassuring way and explain that things can get exaggerated and made to sound scary by other kids. I actually did this with Ukraine before my kids went back to school after half term, because I knew they’d worry if they heard it first from other kids in a scary way.

Thank you, I’ll have a word with the teacher. DS has just gotten up again and we’ve had a chat, from what he’s saying it’s the teachers telling him this. I’ll ask the other parents on the group WhatsApp if they’ve had their kids say anything similar and see if these couple of weeks off alleviates his worries a little. Between him and the 5 month old waking, I’m getting frustrated!

As a pp mentioned, in Scotland your child would be in nursery and those topics would not be covered until a child is much further up the school stages.
It could be the older children have mentioned it which has caused other little ones to bring it up to staff who have discussed it to make the younger ones feel a little more relaxed.
I wouldn’t bother asking the WhatsApp group and would just speak to the nursery staff instead.

@CavernousScream I agree to an extent; I just think they’ve had so much going on in their little lives so far already and there’s no need to go into the depth of daddies leaving their families and people dying on boats because there weren’t enough lifeboats. I worry about it all and i’m an adult; I can’t even comprehend how terrifying it would be to a 4-5 year old who’s already known a lot of uncertainty so far without this.

@Hiddenvoice I definitely will. The WhatsApp group was more to see if other kids had mentioned it then it’s something they’re definitely teaching. I know DS said his teacher told him but he also doesn’t remember what he’s had for lunch 2 hours after he’s had it, so it’d be nice to be able to to chat to the teacher with a bit more confidence that it’s not just older kids he’s overhearing.

I'm all for children learning about history and current events around the world, but there are more age-appropriate topics. 5-years-old is too young for Putin, war and death. Poor kid.

I used to be a secondary school teacher and I know how topics can come up in the classroom that we would then address unplanned. It should still be possible to do this in a sensitive and age-approproate manner though.

I’d be a bit surprised at the titanic, but not at Ukraine. I’m assuming that will have come from the whole school assemblies as very much needed information for many kids. Got to balance those who feel anxious at half truths and who feel better with solid info with those kids who have been watching the full horror of the 10 o clock news.

My dd got taught about the great fire of London when she was about year 2

My DS14 was also told about war in reception. His dad fought in Iraq (in 2003) and told his teacher his dad was in the war.
The teacher told DS “no he wasn’t.”
It was an awful time for me as an army wife alone with no family around and I was quite offended so went to speak to the teacher.
She said “oh well, we were talking about other wars.”
She hadn’t made it clear. All DS understood was “war”. Far too little to grasp what it all meant

I’d ask about it rather than complain as there could be a context you don’t know - such as another child raising it and the teacher trying to answer them truthfully but then trying to move on. I teach Year 2 and that’s what tends to happen, I don’t raise those things myself. That said, certain historical / current events do get taught deliberately (eg Great Fire of London as PP said).

Nope.

8 year old came home and mentioned Russia. We haven't told him about it at all.

Not really sure why they need to know

No, I don't think it's appropriate. It's one thing to talk to kids in school about unfortunate events far in the past, or events that touch them directly and simply can't be avoided, like a war we are involved in. But there is no benefit to kids that age talking about wars in places they can't imagine.

I've met more parents and teachers than I'd have expected though who don't seem to understand this and believe that somehow children are better off having "the truth" about these kinds of things. I remember one woman saying that nursery aged kids should learn about the Trail of Tears for indigenous history month, otherwise it was whitewashing history.