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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I should be more excited.

5 replies

cactusoil · 31/03/2022 21:31

I've had a mutual exchange agreed. I'm swapping my 2 bed flat for a 3 bed house with a garden. It's 45 min drive from where I am now.

When I got the call yesterday I didn't feel happy or excited, I feel utter dread.

I'm stressing so much about applying for another school, when offer date is 19th of April, our move date is 25th. There is one school in the little village and I HAVE to get a place there for DD who's 4 as I don't drive.

Im scared to leave everything I know, My friends, DD's friends, the groups I attend, I'll have to drop out of my course I attend one day a week here. DD had her last day at nursery today, they have 3 weeks off and we are moving in the Easter holidays. The nursery doesn't have spaces so she won't be going to anything until school starts in September.

I'm worried about all the changes of address I will have to do, I'm still on income support to they will change my address and switch me to universal credit which takes ages to go through. I'll have to go in each week to the job centre to look for work and I really don't feel I can work at the moment (mental health) I'm also working closely with a doctor who is trying to get my dosage right.

I just want to feel really excited as this could be a positive change for us but every time I think about everything that needs doing I want to cry. I don't feel ready, it's all such a rush. 3.5 weeks is all the notice I've been given! I don't want to sign until DD has a confirmed place at the school in the village.

If I don't swap now I'm worried I'll never get out of this flat, we don't even have a garden and I could be here for another 5 years.

I would really appreciate some advice as this is stressing me out so much and nothing has even happened yet.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 31/03/2022 21:33

Is it really the right property for you if it’s a small village and you don’t drive? It limits your options for work in the future and, well, anything really - even activities which might help improve your mental health. Especially if you also have to drop out of a course with no prospect of starting again.

FloralsForSpring · 31/03/2022 21:36

It's 45 min drive from where I am now. you don't drive though how long will it take you to get back there if you want to see your friends?

cactusoil · 31/03/2022 21:42

I have a licence I just don't own a car as I'm shit scared of the road.
I know I just don't know what the right thing to do is, if I knew I could find something more suitable I would stay in the flat but it's so difficult to get someone to swap a house for a flat. I can always swap again.

Just in 2 minds and I'm sick of feeling like this.

OP posts:
AllOfUsAreDead · 31/03/2022 22:44

Doesn't sound like the move is a good idea. Having a garden isn't always a good thing and you probably won't use it as much as you think.

ChoiceMummy · 01/04/2022 08:52

@cactusoil
We live rurally.
If the swap has taken ages to come up, you need to balance nerves etc versus the same living conditions for the foreseeable.
Lok at bus timetable etc. Is there a village shop, fish and chips (some are weekend only and in a van). If so life is easy. The garden will be great and the extra space beneficial for all. Moving is unsettling. Nurseries in other villages may have space for the
Friends can visit you.

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