Work is destroying my confidence

[Jumpingspring]

Over time I have gradually been erased at work. Hear tasks third hand and even important things via gossip. Thought I might be getting the push but this now seems to be the new normal. Also reated less favouably than other colleagues.

Tackled the problem directly and was dismissed as inconsequential. Also increased assertiveness but that made it worse.

Over reaction or what can I do?

Resign and find another job. Honestly its very difficult to fight these types of things, just cut your losses and go elsewhere.

It’s hard isn’t it? Hugs 💐

How easy/hard is it to find another job?

It’s awful being in that environment. Start finding your way to your next job.

It sounds awful, please look for another job. Good luck.

Thanks for your responses. Would be complicated to find another job. Looking for ways to make it bearable even jokey ideas to keep me sane X

Some workplaces are just like this.

Mine was and I left. I'd seen it happen over and over with different colleagues.

Why will it be complicated to find another job?

It’s literally a buyers market right now when it comes to jobs.

The reason everyone is saying leave rather than giving you coping tips is it’s incredibly difficult to combat the insidious nature of being erased like this.

Moving really isn't an option.

You need to get another job. Why on earth would you stay. It’s clearly not the right place for you.

I Get that you might want to stay for any number of reasons.

I’d talk to my manager (or whoever is in charge of handing out work), and let them know that you’ve been finding things out last and that it’s affecting you. It might be as simple as you’ve slipped off a distribution list, or it’s X’s job to keep you up to date and they’re not bothering.

Get a process in place for what should happen, and refer to it when it doesn’t.

You will probably put a few backs up, but it’s far better than the alternative.

I feel your pain. I’m being treated in a similar way to you, and I would go as far as saying I am being bullied. I’m looking elsewhere because I can’t see things getting any better.

Ask. Is there an issue with my work as I feel I am being sidelined?

I am in a very similar position. Manager recruited through favour and not merit. They talk a good game. I have been sidelined for 4 years, knowledge and skills wasted, I try to survive by doing what I am given well, but I feel sad and don't have the freedom to move from the flexible working I have which I combine with caring. I feel lost. Can you find a volunteering role that would help you feel more valued.

Multiple reasons why I should stay put. Not just bring stubbirn. Will try different approach to make the best of it.

@Jumpingspring

Over time I have gradually been erased at work. Hear tasks third hand and even important things via gossip. Thought I might be getting the push but this now seems to be the new normal. Also reated less favouably than other colleagues.

Tackled the problem directly and was dismissed as inconsequential. Also increased assertiveness but that made it worse.

Over reaction or what can I do?

Urgh this happened to me. It's awful. Can you smile and move on?

I think if you have to stay put then you need to be a squeaky wheel. Keep bringing it up until you see an improvement. Do you have HR? Union?

Ellerman. Feel for you and good advice when at a crossroads. Best wishes.

Can I ask what sort of work you do? I feel like my work sometimes has these sorts of behaviours (academia).
Sorry you're having a hard time 💐

I'm going through this right now.

I raised an important issue with my boss and she is now sidelining me - no communication, not replying to emails with important questions, being critical with work that I have done.
It's awful, I feel sick going in to work. Haven't been there long, trying to last a year but don't know if I can do it

If you really feel that there is no alternative to staying, then at least join a union if you are not currently a member of one. And keep a diary of anything untoward that goes on.

I get a kick out of how much money they pay me to be really ineffective at my job because people cut me out of conversations and decisions.

In unpleasant futile meetings or where I've wasted time doing something that someone else took it on themselves to do, I like to think about the amount of money the company has wasted on the staff time and resources.

I also like to think about how horrible and sad colleagues inner lives must be that they are so nasty on the outside. Happy people are kind and friendly!

Finally I work on finding compassion, for myself and my fellow humans being forced to work in these bullshit conditions and being encouraged by billionaires to fight like rats in a sack for a tiny percentage of wealth and power.

More power to you OP. You are more than your job and the clowns you work with.

I am not an employment lawyer but this sounds like it could be constructive dismissal. Do you want to sue them? Might be difficult to prove.