Am I being unreasonable?

[Totalk]

So a friend is on a work visit in Bristol and is departing on Monday after a weekend stay in London. Us friends decided to treat him to a dinner. (Not available during Lunch time)

During a private discussion I reminded my two friends who lives in London (Southgate and Mill hill and I live in St Albans) that I am not a very confident driver especially during night time and Can get really nervous driving to a new place especially in London (which can be dangerous). However I was willing to travel to Southgate having been to Barnet a number of times, although only during day time only. It was decided (after a few surprises and laughs at my driving skills) we all meet in Southgate.

We created a group chat and out of curiosity I asked my visiting friend’s whereabouts in London and he said he will be in Walthamstow Central. The Southgate friend instantly replies, oh I am not too far and happy for all of us to meet there and Mill hill responds “ I am ok with it”.

I replied back expressing my situation and if they could instead travel to St Albans instead and I will pick my visiting friend from the station. My visiting friends replies, he is good to go anywhere.

To this, Southgate friend answers “ actually this would be too far for him to travel and get back especially at night and we should meet in the middle like Southgate.

Duh! Is this not what we had decided in the first place, in private?
Too far for him, and not for me to travel to Walthamstow Central How is she calculating distance?

Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off? How should I reply back to her without damaging the friendship.

That was really hard to follow. So you agreed to meet in Southgate, she messed up in the middle but ultimately you are still meeting in Southgate? What is there to damage the friendship over exactly?

I’m confused, why can’t you just meet in Southgate as originally planned? Where does Bristol come into it?

What exactly is the issue?

Struggled to follow, agreed to meet in Southgate and still meeting in Southgate, what's the problem?

Reply "Southgate is fab, see you at xxpm.

Would the Southgate friend be getting public transport? That makes is harder. Or maybe they think that anywhere out of London is too far?

It sounds like you agreed on Plan A, someone suggested Plan B - you said "no" and suggested C, so you've compromised back to Plan A -which is a totally normal thing to do.

Why don't you get the train to London yourself if you're a nervous driver and everyone just meet centrally?

Yabu, just get public transport if you don’t want to drive.

I can’t follow the locations but it makes more sense to meet nearer where the friend who is visiting is staying.

You not feeling comfortable driving shouldn’t impact on everyone else, you can get public transport instead.

That was hard to follow but ultimately if you're a nervous driver, why not continue your driving lessons until you're fully confident?

Why would you be pissed off? They seem to be doing what you want. It might have gone round the houses a bit, but no harm done that I can see.

Eh, just get a train.

Why should your driving issues impact everyone else? If you're that much of a nervous driver you shouldn't be on the roads at all.

Great see you in Southgate

Is the reply

I didn't really understand your post but either agree to meet in Southgate or get a train?

Yabu. Totally. Any group meet up can be a bit like this - some back and forth on where to meet up to best accommodate everyone. They all took on board your concerns and reverted back to the plan you were happiest with. Please don't pay them back for being considerate by saying something so awful it could damage a friendship.

Why don’t you all meet in central London, and get the train?

Can’t you just get the train? Then change and get the tube to Southgate?

Eh? You say you were initially happy to drive to Southgate!?

Why’s this such a big deal to you? Just respond and say great. It’s no biggie. You’re acting like it’s all about you and not him.

If you're not comfortable driving, yu have the option of using public transport or getting a cab. You can't expect everyone to work round you every time.

But saying that, it sounds like you'll be meeting at Southgate anyway. Job's a good 'un, so there's no drama unless you go out of your way to create it

StAlbans is , surely, a bit of a trek, via car.
Just take the train to Southgate.
You probably won't find a parking space anyway.

Lost in translation!

But whatever, just go by PT.

YABU it’s more travelling for everyone to go to you, than you to meet everyone else in the middle. And yes Duh that’s the original plan but you’ve both tried to change it and can’t compromise so go back to the first plan!
If you’re not a confident driver get the train. If you’re getting the train you may as well go to Walthamstow Central - it’s the end of the Victoria Line which can be picked up from Kings Cross ;)

Maybe Southgate friend was just trying to be helpful to visiting friend by suggesting Walthamstow, because is staying in Walthamstow?

As she lives in Southgate, she wasn’t being selfish suggesting a change of venue from Southgate to Walthamstow.

You seem to be annoyed that not everyone has your nervous driving foremost on their minds.

St Albans seems quite far from all those other destinations so YABU for suggesting it.

YABU

Makes so much more sense for you all to meet in London.

Why are you opting to drive into London if you’re so nervous? Public transport, particularly for your route, is very good.

Walthamstow Central is vv easy to get to on the Victoria line.

Your friend sounded a bit blunt if their response was word for word as you wrote it but tbh, they probably found your request for everyone to come OUT of London to you for your convenience irksome.

Why are you thinking of driving into London? Get the train!