To be a bit worried about the Easter holiday?

[Birdsflybirdssing]

We break up for Easter for just over 2 weeks on Friday and I’m worried about it.

I have a very lively 16 month old and not really sure how I’m going to manage him. I know that sounds stupid - surely I can cope with my own child - but he refuses to go in his pushchair, he won’t walk ‘with’ me, so even things like going to feed the ducks are out.

Am I just a really crap mum or is this age difficult?

@Piper22

So sad that you feel this way about spending quality time with your child

That’s judgey and unfair. Toddlers inherently have no boundaries and can’t understand reason. It makes them act unreasonably, and it can be utterly, utterly exhausting. It’s also no fun if you have to get them to do anything. Or not to do anything. And two solid weeks of it can look like a very long list of things to try and talk a tyrant into.

OP it’s hard. I wish I’d be firmer. Not strict, just carried on. I know you don’t like it. We’re going to feed the ducks now, into the pushchair. I hear you, kid, no pushchair. Here are the straps, watch your hands. I know, you don’t like it. There the clasp. Let’s go! Shall we go fast or sloooooow? I know, you really wanted to walk, but the cars are fast. You can run as fast as a car when we get there. Can you hear the ducks yet? Have you got the bread? No? Ok, I’ll carry it……

Basically you talk like they’re being reasonable, and carry on regardless. They get to voice their objections and feel heard, but it’s still happening. I still do it with DD now.

And it's not quality time though, is it? It's passing the time. Don't think I've ever been lucky enough to have a whole day of 'quality time' with anyone. A couple of hours is plenty of quality time.

Fwiw, on one of my first long holidays breaks (can't remember if it was Easter or Summer) I wrote a list of individual days, and what we'd be doing everyday.. and I alternated a day in, and day out; we barely did any of it and I never did that again. You're not crap...holidays are still a major peak of anxiety for a lot of us and mine are 13 and 10 now!
I wish I knew then that not every day has to be a "thing" and that its ok to have down time but nevertheless its usually exhausting and I was/am always glad to see them go back to nursery and now, school!
Try and have some fun yourself too.. good luck and just think of the millions of us all having the same issues!

Abandon ducks/water. Go for fields, woods, soft play, park, alternate going to friends houses, and go to all the baby groups going.

We felt like that when ours was 16m, in fact most parents I know found this age challenging. The good news is that when they get to 2/2.5 (or nearer 3 like us🤔) it does get easier as they get more reasonable.
Some really great advice on this page… what worked for us was:

• acknowledge their tantrums “I know, I know but this is safer…” give them options too “do you want to feed the ducks first or go for a walk first?”.
• don’t give in, no matter how big the tantrum as they just learn that if they scream you give in
• plan little activities for home. We’d do telly time for a bit in the sitting room, then say “let’s do colouring in” in the kitchen area
• saw friends with Yoto players or Tonies boxes recently, they read stories to kids so keeps them distracted
• don’t feel bad if you don’t do anything during the day. Some days we just survived and our kids can’t remember those days anyway!

@Piper22 I don't think the Op will think your sad purple face is very helpful

[quote Birdsflybirdssing]@Timeturnerplease that must have been so hard, I honestly don’t know how you coped with it

We do have reins but don’t find them hugely helpful … he always seems to go in the opposite direction and sits down and won’t get up, tries to jump in the pond with the ducks …[/quote]
You've got reins, he won't drown if you decide 'fuck it, get wet and see how you like it'....

Or use the back straps to turn him into a rather angry handbag.

Or use the back straps to turn him into a rather angry handbag.

Flashbacks.

Piper22 not the most helpful of comments...... suggestions and helpful advice are needed not to make the op feel rubbish about something they are already feeling rubbish about.....
My 3 year is headstrong, wouldn't sit in a buggy from the same age, would sit down if I put him in reins and jumped in a very deep puddle whilst feeding the ducks.... Every day is a challenge with him and I don't have any suggestions or advice but wanted to offer some solidarity that your not alone and it is hard!

Tricky age OP, it will get better. Take one day at a time and try to get in as much fresh air and exercise as possible.

Oh, that age is really hard work OP. It does get better. We were in lockdown too and trying to work, so I didn't really experience normal life but I did tend to let him choose where to walk. We'd just leave the house and let him potter - he usually headed towards stones in neighbours' driveways! It's incredibly dull but you just need to get through the day. And hope there's a good nap in the afternoon.

Once they start talking properly it gets easier, and there's a leap of understanding around 2.5 where they can suddenly have a conversation and understand the world more, which makes life much easier.