AIBU to be feeling abit irritated at DH for this...

[Mummyof287]

So on Sunday for mother's day, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a big and very beautiful bunch of flowers from the DC's (planned and paid for by DH as they are 5 and 5mths).
I say pleasantly suprised, because he is someone with kind intentions, but is overly tight/careful/cautious with money, wheras i am very generous with presents etc.
To be clear, the flowers were not unaffordable for us or anything.
I am not a materialistic person, but everyone likes to be treated now and again with a nice gift!
The flowers were beautiful and I was very appreciative, until he started repeatedly going on about how much they cost!
It kind of tarred it for me tbh, and I got abit annoyed in the end and said 'well am I not worth it?! I have given birth to our baby this year!' He kept quiet after that, but I was annoyed that he had to mention it in the first place 🤦‍♀️🙄

YABU- He got you flowers, he spent the money, he was probably just anxious about spending a higher amount than usual.

YANBU- You deserve to be treated to a nice gift without being made to feel guilty about the cost of it.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. What an arsehole he is. Tell him good job on ruining your present.

If your DH is known for being a bit tight with his money, I think that maybe he kept on about the cost because he was trying to tell you, admittedly in completely the wrong way, that he had gone above and beyond his usual spending to get you something special.

Obviously, most women know exactly how much posh flowers cost, but I think a lot of men do not know that they know, if that makes sense. So he wanted to make sure you knew he hadn't cut costs with the gift and had broken his habit of being cautious with his cash for this special occasion. Subconsciously, he probably thought you would feel more appreciated if you knew he'd spent a lot of money.

Obviously he went about this all the wrong way, though, and it just made you feel guilty, so I can see why you're irritated and I think I would be too.

This slightly reminds me of the time my mum bought me a Chanel compact mirror and was worried that I wouldn't know how expensive they are and would think she was being tight. There was a lot of 'I know this doesn't look like much, but...' when she gave it to me and I had to say 'Mum. I do know how much a Chanel compact mirror costs. You can stop worrying.'

Think @incognitoforthisone has nailed it.
I have a friends who loves an expensive beauty brand so I sometimes buy her something for her birthday or Christmas.
I always feel a bit mean and anxious handing over a tiny gift despite the fact that she knows exactly how much it costs and would much prefer it to a larger amount of cheap stuff.

My Ex was like this. He'd take us all out somewhere for lunch to celebrate a birthday, but then always make a point of pulling a face when the bill came. I know the cost wasn't that much and mostly down to him ordering something expensive, but he just had to be a dick about it.

I would never ever marry a man like this again. Of course you are worth spending money on.

Thanks for the replies- yeah i don't think it was done intentionally, but he does have a habit of saying things without thinking at times.

@HellToTheNope he isn't an arsehole in general- he is a loving and devoted husband and dad in alot of ways, but I agree that saying what he did was quite 'arseholish behaviour'

@TigerLilyTail he is reluctant about spending money in general most of the time, even on himself...think it stems from coming from a poor background where there wasn't much

Do the same thing on fathers day

My DH does the same thing. He's bought me flowers 3-4 times in our relationship, each time ruining it by mentioning several times that they are soooo nice and sooo expensive. (Note that they weren't cheap as in supermarket daffs but they weren't that expensive either). I know he doesn't mean anything by it as he isn't a tight sort of person, he is just saying what he thinks. I make light of it by saying in a joking way "well lucky I'm worth it" or similar.

YABU