It is now 5 years since my ExH and I split and I want to initiate divorce proceedings.
It may seem odd to wait that long but it was such an abusive relationship that nearly saw the end of me and my DS that it's taken me this long to recover my sanity and find the strength to get rid of him once and for all.
We were married a short time and I would like to push for a clean-break divorce. However, prior to being married I loaned him some quite substantial sums of money that he said he would pay back when he sold his house. He never did of course and the limited conversations I had with him at the start of our break-up, he told me he never would pay it as feels he has paid his dues while we were married. He actually didn't pay any contribution towards our household for the first year we were married and in the second year, begrudgingly paid our grocery bill.
By the time I threw him out, he had taken everything from me and my DS and we were left with the clothes on our back. I was so overwhelmed with the circumstances of the previous 2 years that I couldn't think straight so didn't apply for maintenance of any sort even though he was earning a substantial salary. I managed to get myself back on my feet but it's been a long haul and at times I didn't think I would make it.
Now I feel stronger and have spoken to him to tell him of my intentions. He is agreeable and wants it done "as simply as possible", without any cost to him. I'm fine with that except the fact he owes me all this money.
When clearing out some paperwork the other day, I found a notebook of his in which he's written down all the money he owes me with a note to say, "should be paid to xxx by April". I also found a list of all my personal account passwords in the same book which would explain how he was able to manipulate and play with me so much.
I have proof I made the payments to him, copies of bank statements etc. but we didn't have any kind of written agreement. AIBU to request this money back while we're doing the divorce thing? Do you think I would get it?
Thank you.