HELP! going to family court, baby and abusive ex

[Newmum1998]

Ex raised court proceedings..
the day after he was charged with domestic abuse towards me.
Got the letter from court regarding contact handed to me and basically he’s making out he was working away and I left with the child without telling him and he hasn’t had contact. He knows someone who will falsify payslips for him and say he worked away to confirm this. I reported what happened to the police recently the night I left ex and I did this before receiving this letter from court, very briefly what happened was ex said after Christmas we were done and I said I was just going to leave now which lead to him shoving me, screaming/ shouting , trying to break my phone after I called family for help (I should have called police) taking our baby (who was screaming for me) through to another room banging the door and not letting me in room (which he has done before, bit of background ex wasn’t interested In baby while we were together unless he was pissed off at me and then he would take baby out of my arms and do the above which is all apart of the domestic abuse case and part of the reason I’m pushing for supervised visits as I have fears he won’t bring our baby back to me.
I do have proof that he has had contact with our baby (who was 6 months when we split) and I shouldn’t have let him given the circumstances (it was mostly supervised by his family though u til recently basically i didn’t truly understand and except I was being abused until recently ex had messed with my head so much Over the years and always managed to turn everything around on me and gaslight me so when I left I thought things would be okay because I wasn’t there and we weren’t together anymore but no he continued the abuse in other ways and was making my life a nightmare so I went to see a family lawyer who advised I report ex to police and stop all contact which I did and as I said above ex ended up getting charged with domestic abuse. I also found out that ex has previous convictions for things he has done to ex girlfriends and there is only so much police and HV can tell me but I know there are similarities in what he all did to me and what he did to his exes. I know it’s a pattern of behaviour and it’s made me view our relationship differently .
Anyway when I reported my ex to police I was told to stop all contact which I did.
Ex is asking courts for every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night and Saturday 9-12 and 4 hours every birthday and every other Christmas Eve to Christmas Day and half the holidays.
We split up when our baby was 6 months old he is now 10 months, I did everything for our baby during that time so he is glued to me. The longest our baby has been with his dad is a couple hours. Would courts give dad every other weekend right away?
Also 4 hours every birthday? Is that likely as surely every other birthday is better?
I’m not happy with 9-12 on a Saturday as well, I want a whole weekend with my baby especially when he’s older and starts school, I tried to compromise with ex In past and say Sunday night for tea but he wouldn’t accept that and did not give a reason . Ex can’t see baby during the week because of his work, what’s the likely hood he would get every Saturday long term? Surely it’s better for our child to get full weekends with both of us, it’s not my fault ex can’t do during the week because of his work. Also would court agree to half the holidays now while our baby is well still just a baby? That seems a long way off and we don’t know what our circumstances will be by then?
Also I’m going to really pushed for supervised visits initially given the circumstances.
Honestly if it were up to me I wouldn’t let ex see baby at all, I don’t want someone abusive around my baby but I understand he will get contact. Well the police have put down his behaviour as causing psychological harm to me and baby but regardless from what I’ve read online I really doubt ex wouldn’t get contact, my lawyer seems to think it will be supervised initially though but she said the contact centres can only offer 6 supervised visits so I don’t know what would happen after that.
I have appointment with my lawyer to talk things through with her today but just wanted to see what people thought on here and what your own experiences are.

Thank you for reading

I should add I do have proof ex has seen our baby since we split but honestly that’s going to actually go against me in court I think because police and my lawyer think ex is unstable and shouldn’t be allowed to see baby until everything goes through with court and they decide.

If he can’t have him in the week how is he going to manage half the holidays? He does sound like someone who is doing this as a means to try and control you/ pay less maintenance but that the reality of actually looking after that child for that amount of time if it ever did happen would be a different matter if he wasn’t a hands on dad before.

Contact won't happen straight away. The Court, or rather the Judge will make a request for his full history. Contact would start off supervised, ideally via a family member and it could take a year before he gets overnights.

Is agree.
In the past he said he wanted 50/50 while I was on maternity leave and I asked what he would do while he was working and he said leave our baby with his mum (she wouldn’t mind that either ). But I said to him that doesn’t make sense while I’m in maternity leave and also that wouldn’t really be 50/50 and he was going crazy at me screaming and shouting at me that I was threatening him with his son etc.
I said we could build to 50/50 in future but ofc that wasn’t good enough eitehr.

Also, the Court won't leap that far in advance. They will make judgements on the age of the child now and your ex would have to go back to court at a later date. Every judgement is done in the child's best interests. Every weekend/half the holidays would interrupt friendships/hobbies etc. Weekends can be homework catch up as well. So he'd have to show that he can do what's needed. But that's a long way off.

He also has other charges for a really bad road rage incident from maybe 4 months ago and also on Christmas Day He smashed up the flat we used to rent together and threw a tree out the window among other things. That night he also phoned me 28 times and threatened to kill himself if I didn’t go to flat with our baby to see him (he had just seen our baby Christmas morning supervised so it wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen him at all. Anyway police were called by neighbors and he was arrested for that too.

Also police have seen the proof that he called me 28 times and threatened to lull himself if I didn’t go back.

I wouldn't dwell on what's been said in the past. Your maternity leave will have ended by the time contact starts. His contact would include contact with his wider family, so in the future his Mum would be ok to provide childcare for him, as your family/friends might be for you.
It's the abuse towards the both of you that matters.

Given his violence the Judge would want parenting/abuse/anger classes carried out. This is going to take months. You need to not give contact unless court ordered because otherwise SS will get involved.

Yeah no totally I agree I was just responding to the person who said that he seems to be using contact as a way to control me or pay less maintenance and I thought him pushing for 50/50 from birth for his mum to watch baby half the time is kind of is proof of that, cause why take baby away from me while I’m on maternity to hand over to his mum to look after him half this time while he’s at work all day and I’m off if that makes sense? My maternity ends the end of this month though so ofc things will change then.

Yes I’ve not allowed any contact for 3 weeks now since the police told me not to and to let it go through court. I think me letting him see baby in the past will definitely go against me and clearly I made the wrong decision but I was getting a lot of pressure from ex and his family to see baby and ex was twisting everything that had happened completely !