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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it odd that MIL...

22 replies

MaeWest · 07/01/2008 12:58

...locks all INTERNAL doors at night?

We were staying at Christmas and I'm more worried about getting out in case of fire than burglars, but is this just me?

OP posts:

My2Weegirls · 07/01/2008 13:00

some insurance companies advise you not to lock internal doors - once burglars are in they can make as much noise as they want - and it just causes more mess/cost.

does she leave the keys in them?

Brangelina · 07/01/2008 13:01

No YANBU, my mum used to do this too, something about slowing burglars down. She'd got that tip after watching something on the telly that started her paranoia about people breaking in. Used to drive me nuts too.

Original poster

MaeWest · 07/01/2008 13:03

weegirls - She leaves the key in her bedroom door, but no idea where the other keys are...

Guess it explains why DH is so paranoid about security too.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 07/01/2008 13:04

I find it odd because presumably in order to lock them she would have had to put locks on them? none of the internal doors in our house have keys and to the best of my knowledge this is generally the case?

I grew up in south africa, however before we moved there we lived in Zambia, was only a baby so don't remember, but my mum tells there of how it was common to lock all internal doors when you went to bed, and there were some real horror stories of how burglers gained access to your keys, ie by putting poles through windows with a hook to hook the keys from the bedside cabinet and how the pole was covered in razer blades to prevent you grabbing it . course this was darkest africa and not moder-day britain .

wannaBe · 07/01/2008 13:05

modern-day britain even.

Ripeberry · 07/01/2008 13:05

My parents hardly ever go on hols as my mum has agrophobia and my dad is always too busy.
But ONCE just ONCE we went on holiday to Swansea and my Dad decided that as he could not lock the bedroom doors upstairs that he would tie them altogether!
Took him ages to do but at least would keep burglars out of the rest of the house if they broke in upstairs.
They have a flat roof and my dad still worries about people breaking in as its only single glazed.
AB

Original poster

MaeWest · 07/01/2008 13:06

I can confirm that MIL does indeed live in modern-day Britain

OP posts:

wannaBe · 07/01/2008 13:12

think some people are obsessed re security.

Have a friend who is obsessed to thepoint she has her burglar alarm wired up to the police - she pays a monthly subscription to get police response in the event the alarm goes off, and if ever we're out and she sees a police car she says "that might be going to my house, maybe I should go home!" . I grew up in Africa where crime is far more common place so I feel unable to panic like that.

Original poster

MaeWest · 07/01/2008 13:17

Wannabe - thanks for that perspective, DH thinks I'm just naive about the whole home security thing.

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 07/01/2008 13:28

But what caused the paranoia? If there is no foundation, there she does seem rather ott. However, we were broken into when I was at home with dd and my mum, 5 men bashed the door down and demanded cash before ransacking the house. Our house is like Fort Knox now, but I reckon I'm allowed to be paranoid after that!

quickdrawmcgraw · 07/01/2008 13:31

I lock the door to upstairs every night because a neighbour was broken into when they were in bed. They didn't go upstairs but it made think that I wouldn't care if they robbed our place bare downstairs as long as they didn't come up to where we of the children are sleeping.

Original poster

MaeWest · 07/01/2008 13:33

DH cannot remember the house ever being broken into when he was a child, and MIL has never spoken of any other incident, so I do find it a little hard to understand. She lives in a city, in an admittedly less than posh area (but no worse than the area of inner city London that I grew up in)

OP posts:

VictorianSqualor · 07/01/2008 13:38

I have a terrible paranoia about someone breaking in to my house and me not being able to get to the children in time.

We have about 6 locks on our front door and two on our back door which I have to check three or four times if DP says he has locked them, I would love to have a door to upstairs but our stairs are right by the front door and then it's DD's bedroom door so I panic that if someone came in (especially if there were two f them) then they might run straight upstairs without me having time to get to DD.

wannaBe · 07/01/2008 13:40

I think some peoples' paranoya is just fuelled by what they see/hear on tv/in the media though, and all the stories that go round, eg same friend mentioned above said to me the other day "do you know a house round the corner from you was burgled the other day? they came round with a truck and loaded up the whole house" one would imagine if that had happened the police would have been round asking questions, plus that kind of story is so common as to almost be an urban mith and yet people believe it.

Another girl I used to work with had a dh who was so paranoid he didn't want her having things like a mobile phone "because people are mugged for them all the time", didn't want her carrying a rucksack because "thieves will slash it to get to what's inside" and paid for everything by cash because "your credit card will be cloaned and they'll steal all your money". now im all for being cautious and aware but imo living in fear like that all your life can't be healthy.

VictorianSqualor · 07/01/2008 13:42

I blame crimewatch.
(not completely of course) but I blame it partially for my fear.

TheIceQueen · 07/01/2008 13:44

Actually we used to have one of those alarms that are linked to the police - ADT I think it was with - it was worth it - as our insurance premium plummeted. Also had a useful (silent) panic button on it so that if you were in the house when someone broke in/felt threatened you could push it and it would go straight through to the police.

wannaBe · 07/01/2008 13:47

but reality is that few burglaries happen when people are at home? yes they do happen but for the most part people are burgled when they're out.

I think only a police response burglar alarm is any use if you actually feel you want an alarm, as no-one ever pays any attention to alarms going off.

jojosmaman · 07/01/2008 13:49

My granny was broken in to at night not long after my grandad passed away and she was taken around the house by the burglar demanding cash, jewellery etc and was very traumatised by the event.

Since then she had chubb locks put on all the doors and she locks them at night as the burglar came in through a bedroom window and so I think it makes her feel safer that if that happened again they wouldnt be able to get into to her room and I don't blame her. I personally wouldnt do this as I have my DP there and am bordering on obsessive when it comes to thinking there will be a fire, esp after having DP! When I was little I used to go downstairs after my mum and dad had gone to bed and pull out all the plugs, so nothing would set alight, and check the fires/ oven etc were switched off. My dad wasnt too impressed at having to re-set the video every day!

Oh and we also have the ridiculous alarm direct to the police thing as my dh is mega paranoid about being broken in to so between the two of us we're covered! This is despite neither of us being in a fire or being burgled in this home!

TheIceQueen · 07/01/2008 13:50

We were burgled twice when we were all at home when I was in my teens. Not a particularly bad area either.

I agree though that only a police response burglar alarm is of any use if you're going to have an alarm.

Original poster

MaeWest · 07/01/2008 13:52

Yes, living in a 'good' area doesn't guarantee anything - maybe because there's more worth nicking?

OP posts:

jojosmaman · 07/01/2008 14:06

re the area, for me its been that we were robbed more when we lived in a rough area. We were burgled about three or four times when I was younger and had the car/ car radios stolen more times than I can remember. In at least two of the burglaries we were in bed at the time and on another occasion, we were burgled in broad daylight but a passer-by saw the police car at our house, asked if we had just been burgled and directed the police to the house of a local man who was seen walking down the road with a bulging suitcase. Lo and behold the police got there, found our case with everything in and we got it back! Now you don't hear that very often.. oh and on another occasion the man across the road saw the theives climbing over our back gate with the tv and chased them up the back alley and catching them- he got the tv back safely and I believe may have even given them a bit of hiding. God I sound like somehting out of Shameless now!

My parents moved to a nicer area about 10 years ago and have been burgled just once.

MrsBumblebee · 07/01/2008 14:51

No, YANB at all U. Sounds both dangerous and irritating to me. We were burgled while we were at home when I was a kid, but the burglars never came upstairs. The police later told us that they hardly ever do, because the last thing they want is a confrontation. Obviously there are some psychos out there, but if you spent your life worrying about them you'd never do anything.

We've got the opposite problem with my MIL - she's totally lax about security. Constantly leaves doors unlocked and windows open. I've lost count of the number of times she's had her handbag stolen from stupid places (the car, the basket of her bike while left outside a shop etc). She's not forgetful - I think she likes being able to complain about how the country's going to the dogs every time she gets something nicked. Obviously what she does in her own house is her business, but it drives us nuts when we go on holiday with them each year, and she always leaves windows open in the holiday house when we go out for day-long walks. DH and I have resorted to tramping the countryside carrying all our valuables with us .

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