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Original poster

Is there a logical explanation to this text situation?

62 replies

DFOD · 29/03/2022 20:53

Connecting with someone new to me in another country by text. Their mobile number is the the country code where they are based. I ask a Q and they immediately reply to me from a UK +44 mobile number. I ignored this for a while and the conversation continued back on the other country mobile. I then ask about the text from the UK mobile and they deny all knowledge despite it being in the language we are conversing in and a direct and specific response to a Q I asked.

Background they don’t speak any English although they present as a lawyer in their mid 30s. They have rejected all what’s app video calls but accepted audio even though they can’t speak English. I have called and texted the UK mobile number repeatedly - it doesn’t get answered. This isn’t a romance situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
DFOD · 29/03/2022 22:48

@CavernousScream

It’s potentially a scam where they will ask you to send money for their transport etc? If you’re not comfortable with them, find another family.

The website OP is using is legit by the way. The government scheme effectively forced people to use this sort of method.

Yes they haven’t done anything “wrong” yet - just a couple of inconsistencies which might be explained in some way but have left me unsettled. The owner of the website is legit - have checked him out at Companies House etc.
OP posts:
Balanced12 · 29/03/2022 22:52

Lots of people needing help OP, sounds like these arnt a match, everyone needs to feel comfortable. Dont feel guilty

Merryoldgoat · 29/03/2022 22:54

The thing is the UK number would have an easy explanation if it was legitimate.

If they can’t answer a simple question like that I too would be concerned.

Whatinthelord · 29/03/2022 22:57

The owner of the website may be legit, but it does t mean a match through it is safe. Much like Facebook is a real sm platform…it doesn’t mean that you can’t be scammed by others using though.

Does the website offer any checks or safeguards? If not I’d contact one of the well known organisations or refugee charities.

Indoorcatmum · 29/03/2022 22:58

Absolutely sounds dodgy, particularly the automatic "I suppose you don't want us now"... I would block!!!

SpikyJugs · 29/03/2022 22:58

It sounds like even if they are legit - you're relationship with them hasn't got off to a good start, you don't trust them and they have been a bit rude with you with the late call and the bombardment of texts.

So it's not a fit - don't feel guilty, just tell them you're sorry you wont be proceeding and find someone who you do gel with.

Notimeforaname · 29/03/2022 23:08

This sounds dodgy as hell. I wouldn't do it. "Tinder for refugees"Hmm
The way the mother is being, a lawyer who has no English at all and a fluctuating age, the different area code numbers.

It's all too much. And it's not government official.

You could be letting anyone into your home. Stop.

CrocodilesCry · 29/03/2022 23:10

The website you've linked to was set up two weeks ago via GoDaddy.
I'm willing to bet this is not a legit site.

Notimeforaname · 29/03/2022 23:10

The owner of the website is legit - have checked him out at Companies House etc.

This can all be true. But there could be someone on the other end taking advantage of that. This doesn't sound good

Momijin · 29/03/2022 23:15

You're letting people into your home, this sounds a bit dodgy. Like you said a 32 year old lawyer who doesnt speak english can't be right. They may have lied to make themselves seem like a better catch but it isn't off to a good start.

milkyaqua · 29/03/2022 23:22

Scammer.

Original poster
DFOD · 29/03/2022 23:56

Thanks all. You have helped me see that I don’t have to “prove” anything - I am unsettled by lots of little things and that’s enough for me to withdraw and try a different route.

OP posts:
Thewindwhispers · 30/03/2022 00:02

To have someone in your home you have to have such a high level of trust. I don’t know anything about the UK phone number, but it’s very weird they answered your question then denied having done so.

You’ve talked to them a bit. “Do you like them?” is an ok question to ask yourself. If they’re being at all aggressive and manipulative then that’s a hard no from me.

Bellyups · 30/03/2022 00:03

I reckon there will be 1000’s of incidents like this over the next year op. Be thankful you noticed something off now, and not after they arrived at your home.

Original poster
DFOD · 30/03/2022 00:04

@Thewindwhispers

To have someone in your home you have to have such a high level of trust. I don’t know anything about the UK phone number, but it’s very weird they answered your question then denied having done so.

You’ve talked to them a bit. “Do you like them?” is an ok question to ask yourself. If they’re being at all aggressive and manipulative then that’s a hard no from me.

Thank you for that.
OP posts:
GettinPiggyWithIt · 30/03/2022 00:09

You would be incredibly naive to continue with this arrangement

Anybody can set up these websites

RobbieWeirdicht · 30/03/2022 00:21

It is a really lovely, kind and generous thing that you are going to do OP so take your time and find the right fit to open your home and heart to.

oakleaffy · 30/03/2022 00:39

@DFOD
Please follow your gut instinct here.

If just seems “ Off” somehow, please consider finding someone more transparent.
A Lawyer would likely have a good command of English.
Be wary.

oakleaffy · 30/03/2022 00:41

@DFOD

Thanks all. You have helped me see that I don’t have to “prove” anything - I am unsettled by lots of little things and that’s enough for me to withdraw and try a different route.
Bingo. Your gut instinct is working as it should to protect you. Every time I've gone against that quiver of unease, the “ Warning “ was correct.

Your instinct will serve you well.
Find someone you feel a good connection with.

WTF475878237NC · 30/03/2022 00:46

Women's hour on radio four today spoke about potential trafficking including through the legit routes of sponsorship, so your instincts were possibly spot on. Any negative feeling shouldn't be ignored as it's such a huge thing to do you owe it to yourself and the refugee to get it right.

UnvarnishedTruth · 30/03/2022 00:49

www.bbc.co.uk/news/60735121 lists real charities that can facilitate the host/family matching. Use one of those.

After reading projectukraine.org.uk/terms-of-service I doubt it's a scam. I think it's a misguided attempt to help by someone who's thought "I need to do something" without thinking it through.

JocastaElastic · 30/03/2022 01:21

Trust your instincts.

phizog · 30/03/2022 08:45

Anyone can set up a website and company that will auto link to a companies house page. That is no proof that it's not a scam. Companies House aren't vetting companies, just registering them.

You do realise that there are also criminals and dodgy people in war ravaged countries too? They aren't all saints? Similarly there can be plenty of refugees with criminal backgrounds - I find it odd that in this country we immediately assume that everyone less fortunate is a good person. Other countries too have sinister folk.

It's a great idea to sponsor a refugee in your home but you should only do it with an organisation that vets them first. This is a good lesson really about how cautious you should be when dealing with strangers - it doesn't have to be trafficking, it can just be a woman scammer preying on people like yourself, who want to do good.

forcedfun · 30/03/2022 08:56

Being unsettled is enough reason to withdraw.

I wouldn't be alarmed in future by a lack of English though. My Ukrainian relatives in their 30s/40s didn't learn very much at all at school, unlike friends from Eastern Europe who generally have exceptionally good English

KatsuKatsu · 30/03/2022 09:01

You're inviting people into your home. You have to be 100% comfortable with this.

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