4 year old sleep/behaviour

[Poppyguggy]

Posting for traffic
Am in desperate need of a decent advice book on dealing with 4 year olds behaviour and sleep - anyone?

Thanks

I don't know any books but if you give us some info on what the problem is then there's loads of us who have/had 4yos.

Hi, thanks, me and his dad aren’t together and he’s with me 70% of the time. His dad has no issues with him.

Sleep -
We go upstairs at 715, brush teeth, have a story then I say night. He then shouted of me every few mins until he falls asleep, trying any excuse to get me in there, lost teddy, something hurts, wants to know the time, it’s too light/too dark etc. if I don’t go in he will get out of bed and kick his door repeatedly whilst screaming of me.

Behaviour - he’s very clingy, follows me everywhere, complains of body parts hurting him so I stroke them, when there is nothing wrong with them, he doesn’t listen to anything I say and just talks over me or repeats what he wants

I’m beyond exhausted and feel I’ve tried been firm, I’ve tried the softly approach too but nothing helps.

Sorry for taking ages to reply!

4 is still really little. When DD was 4, I used to sit with her for around 10 minutes after lights out time so she could settle and feel safe in the dark. It was boring but I'd sometimes rub her back or just hold her hand. From there I would say I had to go do something...close my curtains, put stuff away, go for a wee, soemthi g short in timescale but that I'd come back and check on her again when I was done. So it would start off just a minute or two, then increased that timeframe.

Her water bottle was on her bedside cabinet if she needed a sip. If she got up for the toilet then I kept very quiet and took her straight back to her bed when she was done.

Are you friendly enough with your DC's dad to ask what happens at his house at bedtime?

DD is now 9 and still sometimes struggles to get to sleep (as do we all, sometimes) so on occasion I will still sit with her for a few minutes.

With the clingy behaviour, is it related to you and his dad not being together (did you break up recently?)

Sometimes kids are just exhausting though.

How long does he take to fall asleep if you just stay in the room with him? This is not about creating a new sleep problem, you move on to leaving the room once he is secure with being in bed and going to sleep but sometimes it's best to take a step back for a little while to crack the bigger problem.