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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend moved away

6 replies

bluepolo123 · 29/03/2022 17:28

A friend of mine recently moved about 2 hours away. She is a close friend and we'd met at a baby group, had subsequent babies at a similar time & spent a lot of time together. Im not someone who has a lot of friends (tend to be quite shy) and her moving has impacted upon me way more than I had expected & more than any other friends moving on has done. Although I absolutely want her to be happy in her new place, Im finding it quite hard hearing about all the new people shes meeting & stuff shes doing etc while I dont really have those opportunities (seemingly being the newbie means everyones keen to chat). She also forgot my birthday which was understandable in the context of her settling into a new place but a stark reminder that things had changed. I havent pointed this out to her as I think she would feel bad and that seems unfair. Anyone else struggled when a friends moved on? Or am I just being unreasonable?

OP posts:
YoYoYoYoSup · 29/03/2022 17:34

Aw YANBU but put some effort into finding new friends.

legalseagull · 30/03/2022 02:56

I was heartbroken when my closest friend moved to the other side of the world. She was my female soul mate.
In hindsight I used her to fill a hole caused by the loss of my dad and relocating to an area where I had no other close friends. She was all I had.
It wasn't so much the loss of HER that broke my heart, but rather that I just felt so lonely.
I ended up moving house myself to somewhere with a better support network and I haven't been happier

redtshirt50 · 30/03/2022 03:19

I moved away and I know it was very hard for my friend, which made me feel very guilty!

2 hours isn't so far, close enough for a day trip - maybe arrange to visit and then you'll have something to look forward to. Or organize a weekend away somewhere (if you can with the kids etc).

I would gently remind her about your birthday, just mention it in passing. I would have been devastated to forget my friend's birthday and would want to be reminded!

Momijin · 30/03/2022 03:45

It's time for you to get out of your comfort zone and put some effort into making some new friends:)

Aria999 · 30/03/2022 03:49

For my friendship, I was the one who moved and my friend who stayed is the one who has new friends!

It sucks, but stay in touch and also put yourself out there and look for new friends.

bluepolo123 · 30/03/2022 19:56

Thank you all for your kind comments-you’re right, I need to focus on making new friends. Easier said than done but nothing ventured nothing gained I guess!

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