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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bullied by Neigbour

40 replies

Bagpuss1200 · 29/03/2022 16:45

So I've lived in the family home for 52 years, lucky to say it's a lovely neighbourhood with mainly great neighbours, not on a main road, and opposite a lovely park, which I played in myself as a child, with my mum taking me their until I was old enough to go with my friends. Forward 40 years!
New neighbours moved in a couple of years ago, very very noisy with the mum constantly shouting at the children which I don't agree with. Parties that have gone on until 2.30am which up until now I've kept my mouth shut about to be nice.
Anyway, back to the children who are very boisterous. Their football flies over the fence at least 5 times a day, over the weekend it seemed to be at least every 10 mins, no sooner did I throw it back then it was over again until it finally hit my cat! I didn't shout but firmly stated to the children how would they have felt if a ball has hit them and I was now cross. At no time did I raise my voice.
A few minutes later the father was at my door ranting at me that I'd shouted at his kids, and they are really sensitive, they aren't, their mother screams at them all day, every day. I told him I did not shout but I was very frustrated about the ball hitting my cat, he said it's tough I've got to put up with it as kids are kids! I said why can't they go to the park and he just repeated just put up with the ball. I also mentioned that I'd been really good about the party noise and he shrugged and said well it's not like it's every weekend I'd just live with it!!!
I feel like I can't go outside my own house anymore, my cat is a house cat anyway who only ventured out the back when I'm out there. Sorry for the long post but this has really shaken my confidence.

OP posts:
Starlight86 · 29/03/2022 16:48

Dont throw the ball back when it comes over. and dont allow access to your garden for them to get it.....they will soon get the picture.

MissConductUS · 29/03/2022 16:52

It would be a shame if the ball had a terrible accident and hit an icepick when it landed in your garden.

YoYoYoYoSup · 29/03/2022 16:59

I'm sorry but you sound about 82 not 52. Have something about you, give them as good as they get. Don't keep throwing the ball back, just leave it in your garden and ignore the door when they knock. Also go out more and get a front and rear camera in case they start climbing your fences like another thread on here.

Horst · 29/03/2022 17:01

Report every party once it’s past your councils allowed time. Make a point of saying to the call handler it’s due to intimidating behaviour from the man of the house why you can’t go around and ask them to turn it down yourself.

Don’t throw the balls back untill there is a lovely big collection of them and even then I wouldn’t rush. Cctv in the back garden incase then climb over the fence. Could add cat spikes to the fence if it’s yours to discourage any climbing over too and total legal to use.

Nanny0gg · 29/03/2022 17:31

@YoYoYoYoSup

I'm sorry but you sound about 82 not 52. Have something about you, give them as good as they get. Don't keep throwing the ball back, just leave it in your garden and ignore the door when they knock. Also go out more and get a front and rear camera in case they start climbing your fences like another thread on here.
Go out more?

Why should she?

SofiaSoFar · 29/03/2022 17:35

@YoYoYoYoSup

I'm sorry but you sound about 82 not 52. Have something about you, give them as good as they get. Don't keep throwing the ball back, just leave it in your garden and ignore the door when they knock. Also go out more and get a front and rear camera in case they start climbing your fences like another thread on here.
Why did you put "I'm sorry" at the start of that little lot?
Wren44 · 29/03/2022 17:36

Don’t throw the balls back over.

PineappleRingo · 29/03/2022 17:37

Your neighbours are dicks
I would throw balls back but not straight away, when it suits you
And get cameras front and back

Northernsoullover · 29/03/2022 17:40

There is no allowed time for parties.

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 29/03/2022 17:41

It sounds like one fall out over a misunderstanding. His kids probably went in complaining you had shouted and he came out guns blazing to stick up for them. This isn't bullying, so don't let it fester into a feud.
Don't throw the ball back. Make the children knock on your door to ask for it back. They'll soon learn.

searchingforsomethiing · 29/03/2022 17:43

You need to be equally as forthright and tell them
To fuck off

LesLavandes · 29/03/2022 17:43

Before the summer comes, can u try to stay out of garden and ignore the ball but make sure they have access and then throw it back a few days later

Bagpuss1200 · 29/03/2022 17:51

YoYoYoYoSup sorry you think I'm 82, I'm not but am on medication for anxiety so my confidence is not good.
Thanks everyone for your support its a relief to know I'm not being unreasonable, if anything I've been way too accommodating. From now on, each party that takes please I will be phoning the council/police. As for the ball situation, I won't be answering the door to any of them from now on, I'll simply throw the ball back when it suits me. Thanks again all, you've made me feel much better xxxx

OP posts:
Northernsoullover · 29/03/2022 18:02

The police won't take action for noise. Start keeping a record of when the parties happen and for how long. If its more than a one off speak to the council.
If they abuse you then you would contact the police on anti social behaviour grounds.

70kid · 29/03/2022 18:05

Get 2 ring cameras front and back
Put up signs cctv monitoring
If you can up the height of your fence
Don’t throw the balls back straight away
Throw them back at your convenience or pop them 😂

TrashyPanda · 29/03/2022 18:08

That is shocking behaviour by that man.

He wanted to intimidate you, which is a horrid thing to do.

I had similar thing happen with my male neighbour, who obviously knew there was no man in the house and was kicking my door and screaming. Since then, I’ve given him a very wide berth. He started to shout abuse over the fence, so I gathered up my courage and said “you need to get some anger management classes, you silly little man”

Just wanted to give you some support. Being threatened in your own home is horrid.

Horst · 29/03/2022 18:09

Noise after a certain time can be a police issue depending on local by laws etc. otherwise there isn’t a point in the council having it as a thing. They can confiscate sound equipment if they have to attend too many times too.

Furrydogmum · 29/03/2022 18:10

My dog only had to puncture one leather caser for it not to happen again.. Don't accept them escalating to climbing over for their balls if it happens. I'm sorry about your anxiety, it really is the pits :-(

LauriePartridge4Eva · 29/03/2022 18:22

Stick a knife in the ball, tear it open then chuck it back. The nerve of that thug coming onto your property to berate you!

Ludo19 · 29/03/2022 18:30

The police can do something OP. Report it also on your councils antisocial page. They will need incident numbers from the police as corroboration. Council can also install noise monitoring equipment that also helps but can't evict if it's not a council house.

oakleaffy · 29/03/2022 18:48

@Bagpuss1200
They sound awful.

Can you put up a higher fence?

Get a recording doorbell device and don’t answer the door to the unreasonable sounding parents.

Good luck.

ZerotwoZero · 29/03/2022 18:48

Stop them in their tracks, install CCTV front and back its very cheap now days and any one with a little IT knowledge can help you put them up and connect them to your home internet.

Pop on a video door bell also if your feeling flush and report it to the local police for antisocial behaviour, do not accept being bullied.

There are a lot of inexpensive solutions out there now days, or you can go mid range some thing like this. Dual cameras, with two way audio, alarm and floodlights. You don't even need to answer the door with this just talk to him over the camera and get it all recorded!

store.reolink.com/gb/dual-lens-cameras/

oakleaffy · 29/03/2022 18:54

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Stick a knife in the ball, tear it open then chuck it back. The nerve of that thug coming onto your property to berate you!
I’d agree- but beware- a similar feral family with no boundaries ended up killing the poor woman who punctured the ball after being constantly hassled for it back several times a day.

It was a very distressing case.

Op if you feel remotely threatened, please call police.

I occasionally get a ball over, but as the neighbours are reasonable have no issue with chucking it back.

LowlandLucky · 29/03/2022 18:56

OP Stick a note on your door stating you will only throw balls or toys that land in your garden back once a week at a time that is convenient to you. Also add "do not disturb" on the note.

Lucyccfc68 · 29/03/2022 19:11

The feral kids near me don’t get their balls back now. After breaking my gutter on the conservatory, a plant pot and some external pipes - any balls that now come over, get popped with a knife and go in my bin. Had no issues recently, as the little monkeys have no footballs left.

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