To tell her she is asking too much of my time?

[janeseymour78]

My mother has recently taken on a political role of sorts which requires social media channels and consistent posts.

She barely knows anything about social media although she has accounts so she has asked me to help her. I've spent a few hours helping her now and gave her very clear instructions for what she can do going forward.

She responded to this asking to work more on it together. In all honesty I don't want to spend any more time on it - I feel I've done her a favour and I have a full time job and a busy life.

AIBU to tell her this? I am starting to feel she is taking advantage.

I also just want to make it clear she hasnt even tried to follow my instructions - just keeps asking for more of my help.

Just tell her no. It’s not a role you want to take on; it’s not how you want to spend your time. It’s a role she chose - leave her to it.

YES, you should nip this in the bud immediately or it will have a negative effect on your relationship. It truly is not your job.

She needs to pay someone to do it if she is too mentally lazy to bother to learn to do it herself! There is an entire industry now devoted to just that kind of task.

Do you have/know of any kids that can help her (for money of course )?

She doesn't usually take advantage of my so I'm really surprised that she would even keep asking so much of my time. Im starting to feel disrespected.

YANBU, tell her now and stop it before it becomes a bigger drain on you and harder to get out of. It's a huge undertaken if your mum is wanting to maintain a social media presence.

If she doesn't want to do it herself point her toward professionals. When she sees how much that costs she may be more willing to follow your instructions!

My mother did this all the time to the point now where we just don't have a relationship as she only called when she needed 'help'.

I put boundaries in place and she just kept crossing them so have gone LC with email only contact.

Absolutely be clear you are not doing this together - it's her project. Write the instructions down for her to refer to and be clear that it's not something you offered to do and not something you're willing to do any more on.

My mother loves to be the spider in the middle of every web and volunteers her family members and friends for things (or herself saying so and so will help her with no intention of doing it herself) - she gets the credit and gets to rope others in. She's done this since I was about 8! Even when I moved away she'd have things lined up for any time I visited. She volunteers my siblings and their spouses and older children still but less so as we all finally started spelling out what she was doing and that we weren't willing to be volunteered for her causes, commitees and interests (most of them to do with supporting the church in her very well heeled community, never helping refugees or the homeless or victims of domestic violence or water aid or anything like that) most of every visit.

I'm going to push back on her requests @ThatsNotItAtAll - the thing that annoys me most is that she is behaving like this is fine when it is becoming a drain on me.

She is clearly trying to slip into me doing the campaign for her - absolutely no way. If she argues with me over it I feel like it will still be the best thing to keep my boundaries in place.

I second the suggestion that she needs to pay a social media manager for this.

janeseymour78 I wish you strength! You definitely need firm boundaries - its a slippery slope and deliberately being blinkered to the obvious fact that its a lot to ask and a drain on you is a tactic (even though she probably hasn't conciously spelled it out to herself in so many words)!