How far away from home to allow DC to playm

[PolkaDot456]

I appreciate there is no right or wrong answer so no judgement on anyones views but a hive mind is welcome here!

My 7.5 year old is well behaved, knows boundaries and is age sensible. DH says we should now allow DC to cross the road outside our house (residential so cars every few minutes but not a main road), go down the street that branches off this road to a grassed area to play. In all, DC is about 100 metres away but I cannot hear them from here and I cannot see as DC is around a corner with view blocked by houses.

I find it really anxiety inducing for DC to be out of sight, whilst the area is overlooked by house fronts it's also quiet and I fear an abduction could be done quickly as links to a main artery road 30 seconds away. DH says I need to trust DC but DC is 7 and cannot fight off being overpowered by an adult.

I do suffer with anxiety so I do question if IABU here to think that DC is too yoing for this or if this is genuinely too much too soon.

The fear of crime is so much greater than the actual risk of crime. Statistically speaking, your DC will be very safe playing there.

Mine is similar age and I let them do as you describe. It is anxiety inducing, but its really important to give them some freedom to play outside, and I think your husbands suggestion is sensible.

At that age, a huge element is how confidence is your DC about doing this? My just-turned 7 year old would not be comfortable or happy with this at all but by this age my DS was starting to ask for a bit of this sort of freedom.

I agree with a PP that the perceived risk of abduction is far greater than the real risk. The real things you need to consider is whether your DC knows what to do if they are frightened or hurt. Do they feel confident asking a passing adult for help if they need it? Are they robust enough to come home if someone else is making them uncomfortable? These are, in my opinion, far more important when making this decision.

How many abductions have there been in your area in the last 7.5 years?

I have a 7yo and it would be a no from me.

It’s also not just about being abducted - does a 7yo truly know exactly what to do if they feel uncomfortable if someone approaches them, they get bullied by others, or what to do if an accident occurs with them or another child etc?

There was a thread about this a month or two ago about children of this age going out and about by themselves. I seem to remember it was a split view but the majority said no they wouldn’t allow this.

My 8 year old isn’t allowed to do that but with live on a residential road In London and it’s not the norm where I live for children to play out alone

I would allow that. Presumably your child will be playing with other children, not alone there?

This wouldn't happen where I live (outer London) and I wouldn't have been allowed at that age either. Generally it's not until closer to 10 that children would here, rightly or wrongly. In contrast my nephews live in Germany where kids walk to school without parents from age 6, although my nephews don't as the school is too far away.

The risk of abduction is very very low. However that doesn't mean this is risk free - obviously, the biggest risk is road safety. Also I would be a bit worried about DC playing unsupervised with other kids in case of bullying etc (especially if there may be older kids / teens there).

Personally I would say that 7yo is a bit too young. I would start to build up to it though (eg "I'm just finishing this job - you go ahead without me, and I'll come and join you in 10 minutes") so that they are gain confidence to go on their own in a couple of years.

I live in a town that this is normal but not in our neighbourhood, not many children here. I don't let my 9 year old go out alone

7?! No way sorry. If it was in sight then maybe but off down the road and round the corner out of sight. No way

My DS is about to turn 9 and he does not go out on his own. I would not allow a 7yo to do that. DS won't be going anywhere alone until he has his own phone.

No not for my infant school aged child.
Why are people so excited for letting their kids play on the street?

I allow my 6 year old out to play at the park around the corner and pops in and out of friends gardens.

He has a watch I can call him on and check where he is which is reassuring. For me the benefits outweigh the risks.

@Hertsgirl10

No not for my infant school aged child. Why are people so excited for letting their kids play on the street?

If you have a place where it works it is brilliant for them. My child gets far more time outside, active and socialising with peers than I could ever organise for him.