To think actually, parent's don't always know best ?

[chattycaterpillar]

Just talking to a friend really, and we've come to a conclusion that often, parent's do not do/ want the best for their kids. It just seems the consensus is always that "parents know what's best," but in a lot of real examples, they really don't:

• Refusing vaccines for their kids.
• Not allowing children to socialise with the opposite sex for "religious reasons."

-Home schooling and not allowing the children to socialise with others for religious reasons. -Telling their children if they are gay/ have a gay relationship they will be disowned/ go to hell.

These are just examples, but am I right in thinking that actually, with regards to issues such as vaccines, home education etc parents "rights," to "parental choice," often is put over children's rights to free and happy lives.

@FelicityBeedle

There are some quite horrifying cases of doctors simply not knowing best which have ended up in the death of a small child, usually of an age where theyre unable to articulate for themselves.
If doctors in these cases listened and took the parents instinct at their word things would be different.

Of course parents don't always know best, and like @AnneLovesGilbert I don't recognize this as a widespread idea. But what's your alternative here? Forcible vaccination of other people's children? Taking children who aren't allowed to socialise with the opposite sex into care? State monitoring of people's attitudes to sexuality with those who aren't in line having their children removed? How would you enforce any change to the base assumption that these are decisions people can make themselves for their own families? How would you enforce what you see as the rights of children here - by massively upping the number of children removed from the care of their family of origin? Do you really think that would be a net good?

I don't think it's 'parents know best' rather 'you know your own child best' which is different.

I know my children best but that doesn’t mean I always know best.

Completely agree with this.

Incidentally I once took health visitor's advice to take child to GP, and the GP said there was nothing wrong and that I need to learn to listen to my own instincts and not just follow everything the HV said. That threw me for a loop as a first time mum to a newborn. I had no idea whether I knew best or not!

I agree. I often see people saying "You know what's best for your baby" and encouraging someone to ignore all advice that doesn't endorse the way they are doing things.

But sometimes the advice is spot on and would actually be very useful if followed.

I think the opposite, parents often don't know best and they ask for advice - either online, or their friends, parents or experts.

I see so much of it on TikTok. People do unsafe things and then there are loads of people in the comments saying 'ignore the Karen's [sic] Mummy knows best!' Does mummy know best? Or does the NHS?

Parents don’t always know best, of course they don’t because frankly nobody can see into the future and know the impact of the decision they have made today but most parents are trying their best and there is a lot to be said for listening to your instincts as a parent.

All you have to do it look through threads on here and comments to know that mummy’s don’t know best.

I disagree with your homeschooling one. For many children homeschooling absolutely is best.

But the general concept that parents know better than a myriad of professionals just because they had unprotected sex is ridiculous.

Although I also believe that a mum can know when something is wrong with their child even when doctors don't. I think you know your child best and I think there is something in us that can sense the illness in our children. Like that gut feeling you get when someone/somewhere is dangerous. Your body has noticed things you aren't consciously aware of. And I would absolutely be the parent refusing to leave the hospital if I felt this.

Those types are a minority though

I wonder if in the cases you use OP and in some other examples, the parent chooses what they believe, what they want, or what will cause the least difficulty physically or mentally for them.

@TerribleCustomerCervix Yes, those are 'Extreme' situations. Most parents know they don't know best, which is why we have places like MN where parents come to ask advice.

Of course all parents don’t always know best or want the best for their children or there wouldn’t be abused children in the first place.

I think most parents care and want what's best but other things like a focus on an ideology or the parents poor mental health can get in the way.