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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving reception age child at class party

39 replies

blanketbag · 29/03/2022 09:15

AIBU to think that leaving a reception age child at a class party is not acceptable?

There's no asking another parent to watch them, they're just dropped off and left. Happens at both soft play type parties and village hall type parties.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 29/03/2022 09:18

Are they reasonably independent, well behaved? Or do they need loads of supervision?

Sirzy · 29/03/2022 09:18

I think it’s odd not to let the host parent know in advance, or have another parent taking responsibility for them. Especially at the soft play parties.

Clockstooforward · 29/03/2022 09:20

TBH when my children were in reception it was the norm unless a child was upset . I always had the Grandmas and a couple of good friends to help with supervision etc . Never any issues.

Original poster
blanketbag · 29/03/2022 09:20

I suppose as independent as any 4/5 year old. They rely on other parents to get their food for them but I assume would go to the toilet by themselves if they needed. Not well behaved.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 29/03/2022 09:21

@blanketbag

AIBU to think that leaving a reception age child at a class party is not acceptable?

There's no asking another parent to watch them, they're just dropped off and left. Happens at both soft play type parties and village hall type parties.

School age so I think yabu. Most parents stay at that she but kids can cope without them.
Bostonbullsmumma · 29/03/2022 09:23

A nursery age child was left at my DC party. I had no idea if they had any allergies. They cried most of the time for their mum who I didn't even have a contact number for. I still think reception is too young. A party we went to recently a lot of reception age children were left. No way host mum could watch them. The party hall also went into a bar- so easy for the children to simply walk out unnoticed! Bar was great for those mums/ dads/ carers who stayed!!

RedWingBoots · 29/03/2022 09:24

If it's your own party put on the invite that parents have to stay with their children at all times.

Ohyesiam · 29/03/2022 09:26

This seemed to be the norm when my eldest started school ( now almost 18). The parents would sometimes leave a mobile number.

Original poster
blanketbag · 29/03/2022 09:26

Inevitably there's always some kind of bump which ends up with unattended children crying/upset (there are usually two of them). Usually these incidents occur as a result of the two unattended children playing very rough.

OP posts:
DisappearingGirl · 29/03/2022 09:28

I think 4/5 is too young to be left somewhere like a big softplay, especially without checking first with the host. Might be different at a small party at someone's house.

lioncitygirl · 29/03/2022 09:30

Most of our friends drop and leave from reception… but it depends on the child I guess. I’ve left my son before - he’s a bit of an older reception child and I’m not normally far - some invites like the one we had last week - clearly state it’s a drop off.

LoganberryJam · 29/03/2022 09:30

Around here, most parents stay at parties for pre-school children, leave them from year 1, and reception is a grey area with some parents staying and some parents dropping off.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 29/03/2022 09:35

I don't think it's unacceptable - it's just personal choice.

If you don't want the responsibility of unattended children then I think the onus is on you as the host to say that all children need to accompanied by an adult.

charchar79 · 29/03/2022 09:36

I used to leave my children at parties at that age. But both my kids were well behaved and knew not to misbehave. I would always check with the parents though first if I was okay to leave. I think there was only one occasion that i stayed.

They are now 23 and 15

AmbushedByCake · 29/03/2022 09:37

At the reception parties I've been to this year there seems to be a strong correlation between the most, ahem, boisterous and least independent children, and parents who drop and run.

HectorGloop · 29/03/2022 09:39

I think a lot depends on the child, the type of party and how well you know the host parents. DD was fine being left at that age if she knew the parents fairly well. She's a sensible girl and would ask if she needed help. DS who is in Yr1 I am much less likely to leave, he has zero common sense. I usually team up with his best friend's mum and I take them both to one party and then she takes them to the next one. I would always check with the host before I left them though and see if they are happy for a child to be left. I did leave him at one party but the host parent happened to also be a teacher at his school so she knew all the kids and they behaved for her.

titchy · 29/03/2022 09:39

It's was the norm for us from age 4! Stereotypical MC area. If kids got a bump host parents gave them a cuddle and then they went off and played after a few mins. Known rough-players monitored very closely with intervention and telling off where necessary. Part and parcel of party hosting 🤷‍♀️

That said if you want parents to stay you need to say on the invitation.

Original poster
blanketbag · 29/03/2022 09:46

I kind of feel that as the host there's enough to be doing (including watching party child's siblings) so it's not really fair to expect them to supervise any other additional children. Equally I get that it might just be seen as part and parcel of hosting.

OP posts:
BlackLambAndGreyFalcon · 29/03/2022 09:46

I always asked the party host if they needed me to stay. Most didn't, so I happily left. DD didn't need me hanging around (and she was well behaved and not boisterous!)

DarleneSnell · 29/03/2022 09:49

Parents never stayed when I was a kid, and when I hosted I didn't want them to (felt like more pressure on me!).

I'm really forward to when I can dump and run myself, but other parents seem to want adults to stay 😩

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/03/2022 09:50

I would stay, at this point in reception the children dont know the adults well enough if they had a problem. It's also unfair on the host to have to keep track of so many young kids.

ittakes2 · 29/03/2022 09:52

I once had a parent leave a three year old with me for a party where I had 30 reception age children at a party venue. She literally said I’ve just changed his nappy I’ll collect him in an hour. We invite parents to stay but it was not expected. 30 children = 30 parents if you do!

nearlyspringyay · 29/03/2022 09:53

Parents stayed in reception, they were a good opportunity for parents to get to know each other, especially for those who didn't do the school run. From Y1 it was drop and run.

Original poster
blanketbag · 29/03/2022 09:53

Maybe if they were well behaved I wouldn't be bothered. These two are particularly boisterous, pushing and shoving, fighting. They also get huffy when they don't get their food immediately - other children have their parents to help them and host is usually doing something else like serving drinks so without someone taking responsibility for them they are sometimes waiting if they need something, and they don't wait patiently. Obviously another parent will help them but inevitably they see to their own child first.

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 29/03/2022 10:06

I would say it's fine if a) the children's behaviour is broadly good and b) if you check in with the hosting parent first so that they know they're supervising.

But if the child is particularly badly behaved, the reality is that the chances are the parent isn't particularly interested in managing appropriate behaviour or doesn't see it.

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