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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cleaner leaving early, not completing tasks and partners reaction to it

64 replies

NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 09:03

We've had a cleaner for a couple of years, the standard of cleaning has been ok -not amazing but not dreadful either. Over the month or so then there's been the start of her arriving late and / or leaving early. A few weeks ago she left about 15 minutes early and didn't even touch one room. Last week she left nearly half an hour early and hadn't done everything. So she's not doing the time agreed and it's not as if she is doing the tasks either. Increasingly if feels as if she can't be bothered and wants an early start on her weekend as she's comes on a Friday. Don't we all! But lm not willing to pay her to do that. Cleaning tasks are all very standard: hoovering, mopping, dusting, clean bathroom, clean kitchen etc.

My partner thinks she needs "moulding and shaping". I think what is required is obvious and she doesn't appear to want to do it. Friday is an especially busy day at work for me and to be honest l can't be bothered doing moulding or shaping. Plus if she's like that while we are there (we are both still working from home still), then what will she be like when we are not there?

I've had enough of the whole thing to be honest. She used to bring her own hoover but then had car issues and had to start using ours. Then she starts moaning she doesn't like the hoover we have Hmm

Things have come to a head as my partner is on a training course all this week and he enquired what the plan is for this week. I said l would challenge her about the leaving early last week but could not be bothered with the fluffy stuff. To be honest l want to agree a date that she needs to have pulled her socks up by or we sack her. He thinks we need to tell her this and l said no. Things then got heated!

OP posts:
Beamur · 29/03/2022 09:10

Why don't you say something when she gets ready to leave early?
I probably wouldn't mind a cleaner knocking off a few minutes early if they had finished. But repeatedly leaving early and not finishing is out of order.
You would be unfair to sack them without pointing this out, but it doesn't bode well for trust in your absence.

MatildaTheCat · 29/03/2022 09:10

She’s checked out. I’d personally just replace her. However just waiting to see if she improves sounds a poor idea if she doesn’t know how unsatisfied you are.

If you want her to stay and improve then tell her so. A message stating that you have noticed she is leaving early and not completing her work and you would like this resolved would be sufficient. The next time she doesn’t fulfill her role she goes.

However if your vacuum cleaner is rubbish she does have a point as having the correct tools is pretty vital.

RedHelenB · 29/03/2022 09:12

Have you not pulled her up on anything all the time you've been there, working from home? No wonder she thinks she can get away with it. If your th want a to " mould" he needs to step up and do it, not rely on you. If you want rid, then give her notice and find a more satisfactory cleaner.

NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 09:12

@Beamur we are normally in meetings. Where l work is especially meeting heavy on a Friday so l can’t just bail on the meeting to chase her down the road

OP posts:
NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 09:14

@MatildaTheCat yep, she does sound checked out. Nothing wrong with it the hoover that she’s mentioned or l have noticed. She just prefers a Henry apparently, l don’t (they make my back hurt) and we don’t have one

OP posts:
Oldtiredfedup · 29/03/2022 09:15

Just replace her.

NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 09:16

@RedHelenB like l said the arriving late / leaving early is a more recent thing. She hasn’t been like this all the way through. I don’t know if her Fridays have recently changed with other work or personal commitments so coming to us is a drag

OP posts:
DirtyDancing · 29/03/2022 09:19

Either talk to her adult to adult or replace her.

Neither is difficult to do.

spacehardware · 29/03/2022 09:20

What is this "moulding and shaping" your partner proposes you do? I am confused. You shouldn't need to performance manage a cleaner. They are supposed to make your life easier

If you hate confrontation maybe text her and say (or just say) I've noticed you've started cutting your time short recently, is there a problem, are fridays no longer good for you?

If it's that her friday has got more complex you could consider letting her come another day. But if you like having the house cleaned Fridays ready for the weekend, just get someone else.

CHIRIBAYA · 29/03/2022 09:20

Do you often have issues asserting yourself? I thought the idea of a cleaner was to make life easier not bring additional stress. If she doesnt 'appear' want to do it find someone who does. Simple.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 29/03/2022 09:22

I think neither of you are being unreasonable here actually.

Cleaners do need the occasional bit of guidance, in my experience. We have agency cleaners and I do have a line of dialogue going with the guy who runs the company, just to flag if they miss something one week or don't turn up on time or whatever.

Look at it this way -- would you expect to do your job with zero guidance from your employer/client, even if basic expectations were theoretically clear, and no pushback if you made a mistake or did anything wrong? If you wouldn't, then your cleaner shouldn't either.

So I think on that basis your H has the right of it.

But you're not being unreasonable to want a clean done to a decent standard.

My approach would be this: grab her at the start of next week's appearance. Bring up the three most major things -- late arrival, early leaving, rooms not done, whatever. And see what her response is. Not in a finger-waggy kind of way but in a 'we've noticed this has been happening, can we work constructively to sort this out' kind of thing. Again, the way you'd expect to be treated at work over a performance issue.

I don't think it's reasonable to sit there seething, but at the same time not tackle her about it.

And yeah -- replace the vacuum if it's not up to the job. She can't do a decent job if the tools are crap.

LagunaBubbles · 29/03/2022 09:22

I dont understand why you haven't said anything to her though before this?

whatstheteamarie · 29/03/2022 09:24

So the person you've employed to make your life easier is not only slacking on the job, they're also causing disruption in your relationship AND you're paying for this?!?

Sack her and move on. It sounds like she's never been great, but now she's doing more harm than good.

In short, you are paying someone to make your life uncomfortable and disrupt your relationship with your DP; it's time to move on.

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 29/03/2022 09:25

replace her. I've never had a cleaner longer than two years, I'm hoping my current one will keep standards high but who knows.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 29/03/2022 09:28

If you're employing her... Tell her your expectations NOW...

If youre paying an hourly rate, pay just the hours...

If she's self employed... Just stop using her... As she's not completing the work you want...

Simples.

I would not be wasting time... Molding and shaping... She's not a 6 year old on a behavioural programme!

FetchezLaVache · 29/03/2022 09:29

When I hired my cleaner, I told her I wanted to pay her for two hours of her time to do whatever needed doing rather than work through a set list of jobs and then leave (which seems to be her preference). I WFH too and when I saw her looking like she was getting ready to go, I would look at my watch and say, oh great, there's 20 minutes left, could you do the skirting boards please? She soon got the message.

NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 09:51

@spacehardware thank you! My thoughts exactly about the moulding and shaping. I think it’s bollocks. She either fixed up or ships out Confused. I don’t mind the confrontation, it’s partner who is resistive to it. I want to confront her. He wants to give it the please could you possibly….

OP posts:
NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 09:52

@FetchezLaVache exactly. It’s either a list of tasks OR time. Mine doesn’t seem to want either which is super convenient. Partner tried detailing what needed to be done the other week, she then ditched an entire room and left early still

OP posts:
JudgeRindersMinder · 29/03/2022 09:54

Based on your last update I’d be telling her to return any keys and not come back

Tonya345 · 29/03/2022 09:55

Just get a different cleaner.

WindsweptNotInteresting · 29/03/2022 09:59

[quote NorthSouthcatlady]@spacehardware thank you! My thoughts exactly about the moulding and shaping. I think it’s bollocks. She either fixed up or ships out Confused. I don’t mind the confrontation, it’s partner who is resistive to it. I want to confront her. He wants to give it the please could you possibly….[/quote]
I don't think there's any need for confrontation in the first instance, just talk to her and ask if there's a problem as you'd noticed she's been leaving early recently. And then see what she says and take it from there. No need to get heated (but no need to mould and shape either!). She's either got a valid reason, in which case she needs to communicate with you and you can see if you can find a solution, or she can't be bothered, in which case there's probably no point trying to find a compromise, as she will be resentful.

But just ask calmly in the first instance!

ZenNudist · 29/03/2022 10:02

I'd politely tell her.

Can you please make sure you doo all the tasks agreed. You left x room last week and left 15 mins early. I'd also warn her that you won't be paying her for the missed time if she chooses to leave early but that you just want the job done.

When her once then find another cleaner.

ZenNudist · 29/03/2022 10:02

Warn!

NorthSouthcatlady · 29/03/2022 10:03

@IamtheDevilsAvocado this. All this! Problem is partner doesn’t see it this way and we pay 50/50 towards things. Part of the row yesterday was him
not wanting to rock the boat and wanting that quiet life thing men seem to love

OP posts:
HellToTheNope · 29/03/2022 10:04

This is so bizarre. What is all this faff about? She's shit at her job so sack her. It's not complicated.