Phone off/ bedtime for 13year old

[BetterBee]

I have a thirteen year old who thinks having her phone internet off for 9pm (on a school night) is unreasonable. She can stay up and read etc for as long as she likes.

She gets about 1hour day homework and after school clubs twice per week.

I’m just wondering what your phone rules are and also bedtimes (if any) you have for your children of a similar age.

I think it's totally reasonable but my DD is younger. I think the only problem is that very strict rules about tech /bedtimes /whatever don't encourage a young person to self regulate and make good choices for themselves. They will always be striving to rebel and break the rules. But I realise some kids need these boundaries more strictly enforced than others.

Mine have theirs off for 830 (I still have family link otherwise they'd be on it non-stop) and bedtime between 9-930. They don't seem to get a lot of homework but one has just come to me in tears because he forgot he has French to do and he's got 6/9 tasks still to complete

I have the same bedtime rules throughout the week by the way, I let them stay up pretty much as late as they want at weekends and holidays but they naturally go to bed normally round 10ish. They don't argue about turning phones off, I try to model good behaviours with my usage as well!

Not unreasonable imo. I used to do the same and take phones and all gadgets out of a night at that age.

My Dd is 15, year 10. On a school night she has phone and tv off at 9. Reading or chilling in her room until 9.30 and light off. Weekend is obviously later.
She gets up at 6.30am for school so important she gets enough sleep.

13 year old in pjs by 9. In bed for 9.30.
15 year old sent to bed 10 for 10.30 on a school night.
They both charge phones and iPads on the landing outside their room overnight and usually they are off them and watching some tv with us for around half an hour before bed. However there isn't a really strict rule - it's just evolved like that.

Same here
Phone gets taken away by 9, usually a bit earlier. He can read if he wants (though he doesn't want usually). Any later and he'd be totally knackered the next day.

Thanks for your replies. I think dd is surprised you agree with me!

Similar here, also 13. Phone / iPad off by 8.30 and charging overnight on the landing. We usually watch a bit of tv together then in bed by 9.30 and she'll sometimes read till 10

I’m mean, I have a 12 and 13(nearly 14) year old and they need to come off their screens at 7.30pm. Sometimes they might eek them out for 15mins but they generally come off and don’t make a fuss. They barely get any hw so stare at them 4-7.30 with 30 mins off for dinner, and stare at them all weekend (until 7.30pm) so that’s plenty, while I can get away with setting a curfew!

Your rule seems reasonable to me OP (I have a 12yo and a 14yo).

Phones downstairs from bedtime is the rule in our house.

We have never really had phones on in the evening until they were older, phones just go in their drawer downstairs with the rest of school stuff. I think 9pm is quite late. I know our family is a bit of an outlier but none of them seemed to care, so it hasn't been a massive issue.

My DD is 11 amd we have the family link . Phone is available 08.30 - 21.00 . Only Apps allowed are age appropriate.
We have a 1 1/2 hour limit for all apps . So if she chooses to use it all up 8.30-10 that's it for the day .
She generally now spreads it out .
Messaging family amd friends is always allowed outside of the 90 mins app limit .
At 9pm she just pops it in our bedroom for charging .
90mins a day might seem harsh but that's over 10 hours a week screen time / 4O hours a month . 39 hours more than I would like !

Our rules are similar for our 13 yo, who needs plenty of sleep and is an early bird. Phone time usually stops at 8.30, can be extended till 9pm if circumstances justify. Google's Family Link app is very handy for managing and adjusting this. Phone stays downstairs at bedtime for charging

13 year old here. Bedtime 9.30. Phone charges in our room so teen has no access 9.30pm - 6.30am. We've learnt to switch it off as messages from peers may come through at any time of the night!

DD 14 turns phone off at 8. In bed for 9.30 lights out around 10.