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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to ask her what it was all about?

11 replies

OliveLover01 · 28/03/2022 19:39

Have been debating whether to post about this. Decided to today.
We have a WhatsApp group of mums at school. All different years and it’s just grown organically. It’s not the class WhatsApp. We use it to discuss the school, but also organise days out etc. It’s not that busy, ( maybe a few weeks of silence and then a flurry of messages) and not everyone knows everyone directly but it a nice way to share info and learnings.
So last week we were having a convo about the gastro that had been going around and I added that my sons teacher had asked 2 girls to put on masks because of the gastro flu and Covid going round causing staff shortages. It’s not school policy but I guess they are desperate as subs are hard to come by. I didn’t give any thoughts on it, just stated it as fact. This one mum who has always been a bit off with me exploded at me about my ‘opinions’ and how rude I was about the school and then went on to say I was embarrassing and uncouth and that on behalf of everyone else, I should just go away.

Some other people women piped up with ‘woah, this is bullying language, this isn’t the place’ and ‘please don’t include me in this, I don’t want anyone speaking for me’

I was really shocked and confused. She has always been a bit weird with me. Her DS is in my DS’s class and she makes zero effort with me at any socials. She has walked away from groups if I join. I don’t really care, I know not everyone likes everyone else and it’s never bothered me. But this was out of the blue. I scrolled back 18 months on the group and I have never been rude or uncouth or embarrassed myself. Other people have said they didn’t know what she was on about and not to take it to heart. I don’t drink when we do socials because I have to drink. Yes I swear a bit but nothing shocking. I would say I was uncouth.

Several people checked on me in the week. I was really affected by it. memories of being bullied at school and Uni resurfaced and I was furious she had spoken to me like that. . She left the group the next day with some weird apology for her belligerence but no apology to me. She then popped up in another WhatsApp group I’m in that I didn’t realise she was in saying something about being really embarrassed about her behaviour and how no one should listen to anything she says.

Part of me thinks she might drink and the weird out of the blue comment was the result of daytime Sunday drinking and she was irritated by me (in general) or the mention of masks or maybe she had had an argument with her DH…

AIBU to want to text her and ask her what on Earth happened? DH says I should just leave it but I’m fed up of people being able to treat me badly and me always taking the high road and not calling them on it….

OP posts:
OliveLover01 · 28/03/2022 19:41

Sorry…: typos.

I don’t drink when we do socials because I have to DRIVE. Yes I swear a bit but nothing shocking. I wouldN’T say I was uncouth.

OP posts:
Skelligsfeathers · 28/03/2022 19:44

I would leave it. She sounds insane. I'd stay clear.

Ponoka7 · 28/03/2022 19:46

No good can come from poking that bear. Just move on.

Tittyfilarious · 28/03/2022 19:49

I'd just leave it it's not worth the hassle

tearinghairout · 28/03/2022 19:50

I wouldn't engage with her. She's too unpredictable.

AmandaHoldensLips · 28/03/2022 19:50

Leave it and do not engage with her in future. She's clearly a bit unhinged. Always best to stay well away from people like that.

Onthetoadagain · 28/03/2022 19:57

Sorry but I'd leave it. No idea what her problem is but no point feeding into it (in her imagination) by attempting further discussion. She's left the group and acknowledged her behaviour after a fashion so seems to be aware she's been out of line. Nobody is on her side with the original point so I think best to ignore.

BurntEnds · 28/03/2022 19:57

Stay well clear

EllaPaella · 28/03/2022 20:00

Just leave it. Everyone else will be rolling their eyes at her and wishing she would just go away and not involve herself in any other whats app groups. Way too much drama and she's just made herself look daft and unhinged. You've done nothing wrong so don't rise to the bait or give it any headspace, just ignore.

LookItsMeAgain · 28/03/2022 20:10

My advice would be this - if you have anyone in the group that could approach her (not in WhatsApp but face to face) and ask her what she thought she was up to, you might get an answer but I wouldn't approach her myself. See if someone will ask her what the hell she was up to, was she feeling ok and does she think that she might actually owe you an apology.
If you don't have someone in the group that would be able to do that on your behalf, then I'd actually take a leaf out of the annoying woman's own book and ignore her each and every time she posts something/attends the same event. Just have nothing whatever to do with her.

OliveLover01 · 29/03/2022 05:43

Thanks everyone.DH will be very happy that you all agree with him. @Lookitsmeagain mono don’t have anyone who I could ask to do that really. Well one,but she was one of the people who replied to her on the group and she got her head bitten off too. They don’t know each other well either.

It’s just I’m wondering when these bullies get their comeuppance. If that was a child at my kids school, I would have marched straight into the headmasters office and demanded an apology and explanation. Even as an adult I’m sad for my younger self who never got that.

I’ll leave her alone. She does obviously have issues and I don’t have much compassion for her right now so it doesn’t really matter what the issue is…. I’m never going to think it was ok to target me.

Have. Lovely Tuesday all.

OliveLover01

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