Can a sexless marriage last?

[Slavetolove]

Been married 3 years, together 9. One biological child together and two from previous relationship.

Dh is amazing in every way. he works hard, supports us all, cooks, cleans etc. He’s my best friend.

He suffers with mental health issues that he won’t address as he is ashamed and can’t take medication due to work.

He absolutely hates his body but I think he’s so gorgeous. He’s a chunky guy but is constantly dieting/going to the gym. He won’t get undressed in front of me and just absolutely has zero confidence. Which has caused us to not have sex. He won’t let me touch him, touch his belly or anything. We’ve had sex 2ce in a year.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so desperate for him to get help :( I tell him every day I love him and I fancy him and appreciate him.

I think it can yes. We rarely, very rarely have sex, we have been married 28 years though. It doesn’t bother either of us. We’re very close, cuddle lots etc. sex just isn’t up there as one of the most important things in our relationship.

However if one half of the relationship isn’t happy then no I don’t think it can last.

Of course it can, if both people are happy with no sex.

But you clearly aren't. And this isn't really about the sex, it's about is self image which will impact in other ways

I think the answer to this question is a very individual one...if you are happy that everything else is good and it doesn't bother you enough to be a dealbreaker then yes.I have a very low sex drive and whilst DH and i do the deed every couple of weeks, i wouldn't be that bothered if we barely did it.I love him to bits, I'm completely happy being with him, I just don't really like sex.
But I am aware I am in the minority with that viewpoint, and many wouldn't be happy with it.
If you aren't too fussed great, but I'm guessing maybe you are due to posting on here, in which case he owes it to you to get sort of help for his MH....maybe counselling if medication isn't an option, because you clearly love him and the attraction is there, but you shouldn't have to have a sexless relationship if that is something you crave.

Your title is misleading. Of course sexless marriages can last, but what you have, as you know, is a dh with serious issues that he needs help with.
I hope you find a way to help him.

If both people are happy with no sex then it's not a problem. If the sex drives are mismatched then it's a fundamental problem that can't really negotiated.

I think if you fancy him there’s hope. It’s when the desire has gone that I’d begin to worry. You do need to find a way to talk to him so that he understands how you feel. His GP will have other solutions for him other than just medication for his mental health issues.

Has he gained a lot of weight since you’ve been together? Is the gym making any difference? Does he need support to change his nutrition, as that does need to also be addressed if he is trying to lose weight. Do you (or he) believe that he will want to have sex again once he achieves his ideal body weight?

Would he consider sex where he’s behind you to start with? I’m thinking if he doesn’t want you to see or touch him, there’s lots that you can do where he comes in from behind or even gores down on you. Time to get creative?

I guess so but it’s not what you want and your DH needs help. You need to try and get him to see rid is serious.

Not really in the situation you describe

What about an open relationship ?

Would he consider couples therapy? You can start with separate therapists then joint

As an asexual person, I’d be grateful that he left me alone and we could enjoy a lovely companionship. Sex isn’t anything important or interesting to some of us.

But I understand that it must be frustrating if you want it and he’s not up for it. Could this change? Could you help build his confidence? What about counselling?