AIBU to ask for networking tips for the socially anxious?

[AlexaShutUp]

I have a posh work dinner to go to, I won't know anyone there. It's a fabulous networking opportunity but I'm naturally shy and tend to get anxious at big social events.

I'm usually OK in my actual social life as I have a very confident and outgoing DH who does all the work, and I just tag along with him, but he won't be there so I need to go it alone. I'm terrified, but it's really important that I go and make some new connections.

I have never figured out how to find people to talk to at these mingling events. People always say to look for someone who is standing on their own, but I can never find anyone. How do you approach a group of people who you don't know, when they're already mid conversation?

And how do you know what to say to people? I feel like I never have anything much of interest to bring to the conversation. It's OK for the first 2 mins, with basic questions about what people do etc, but then what do you say after that?!

Please, please, please... give me some tips to help me survive the evening. I'm so, so tempted to call off and claim to have covid or something so that I don't have to go, but then I would miss the opportunity to make some valuable connections. I need to get over this, but I'm dreading it.

Advice please, wise MNers!

People always say to look for someone who is standing on their own, but I can never find anyone

This rarely works, because often the other person is their own because they feel really awkward too - so you then have 2 socially anxious people, desperately trying to make conversation.

Have you tried passing food (nibbles) around or offering someone a drink? Even at catered events, there's often the opportunity to get someone a drink from wherever they're being served. Or compliment them on something they're wearing - saying it's a nice colour is usually safe.

Open questions are good. Try to make it impossible for them to answer just yes or no.

Good luck!

Watching this thread with interest.

Find it really hard to make small talk with people that I do not know

It's hard. Is there anyone there you do know who could introduce you to people?

The advice I was given was to hover on the edge of a group and listen for a bit. If they are also networking (rather than old friends in the middle of non small talk) start by nodding and smiling when you agree with something, then after a bit offer a comment. Then after a little while you can say 'I'm Alexa by the way, from xxx company, how about you?'

1. Waltz up to any group, say a breezy ‘good evening’ and insert yourself into the group. Or, stand at the bar to get a drink and strike up conversation with the person next to you.
2. Be ready to describe what you do in a short, but interesting way. It must be simple enough your grandparents could understand it.
3. Ask other people lots of questions. People love talking about themselves, so ask: what do you do? How long have you been in that field? Where do you think the next couple

Of years will take you?